The Kansas City Royals won the World Series last year. They've won the last 2 American League Pennants. This time, like the Yankees, they're struggling just to get into the Playoff race.

On Monday night, struggling wasn't necessary for the Royals, because it was what Michael Pineda was doing. Again. He was supposed to be an ace, but he may not even make the rotation next year if Brian Cashman does his job.

Stop laughing.

Pineda struck out 8 and walked none in just 5 innings. But he also allowed 5 runs on 7 hits. That is unacceptable. The Yankees also let former Met Dillon Gee hold them to 1 run in 6 innings. Also unacceptable.

It was only 3-1 Royals going to the bottom of the 7th, but after Kendrys Morales singled to lead off the inning, Joe Girardi relieved Pineda with Tommy Layne. Good move: He got Alex Gordon to ground into a fielder's choice.

Naturally, you let the effective pitcher stay in. Except Girardi immediately took him out, and brought in Blake Parker. What the hell? He gave up a 402-foot home run to Alcides Escobar. Then he gave up a single to Raul Mondesi Jr. Then he got Jarrod Dyson to ground out, but then he gave up a single to Cheslor Cuthbert and a walk to Lorenzo Cain.

Only then did Girardi take him out. And he brought in... Kirby Yates?!? Yates gave up an RBI single to Eric Hosmer, before striking Morales out to end the inning. The Royals had batted around, and scored 5 runs.

Why? Partly because Girardi is a blithering idiot when it comes to the bullpen, and partly because Cashman gutted the bullpen to get a bunch of "prospects," so Girardi couldn't bring Dellin Betances in for the 7th, Andrew Miller for the 8th and Aroldis Chapman for the 9th. But if Girardi had simply let Layne stay in the game... I don't know what would have happened, but I'm pretty sure the Royals would have scored fewer than 5 runs in the inning.

Then the Yankees scored 4 runs in the top of the 8th, the highlight being a 2-RBI double by Didi Gregorius. It could have been Yankees 5, Royals 3. Instead, because Girardi and Cashman were idiots, it ended Royals 8, Yankees 5. WP: Gee (6-7). SV: Kelvin Herrera (11). LP: Pineda (6-11).

Absolutely unacceptable.

*

On Tuesday night, the Yankees took a 4-0 lead into the bottom of the 3rd, including a long home run by Aaron Judge. It was still 4-2 Yankees going to the bottom of the 6th, because Masahiro Tanaka, as he usually does, was pitching very well.

Then, like the blithering idiot that he is, Girardi took Tanaka out! He'd only thrown 71 pitches, and was pitching well. At that rate, he should have at least been allowed to pitch through the 7th.

For the bottom of the 6th, Girardi sent in Adam Warren. Adam Warren? Who sends Adam Warren in to pitch? A blithering idiot, that's who! Warren allowed a run to make it 4-3. To make this game even stranger, former Yankee Chien-Ming Wang was pitching for the Royals.

Girardi sent Tyler Clippard in for the 7th, and he kept it at 4-3. But when Clippard walked Cain to start the 8th, Giardi panicked, and brought in Betances for the 6-out save. Betances blew it: 4-4. He managed to make it no worse in the 8th or the 9th, and the game went to extra innings.

Brian McCann led off the top of the 10th with a single off Joakim Soria. Girardi sent Aaron Hicks in to pinch-run for him. Chase Headley singled. Soria struck Judge and Tyler Austin out, then uncorked a wild pitch (only wild pitches and wine bottles ever get "uncorked"), to send Hicks to 3rd base and Headley to 2nd. Soria gave Brett Gardner the old unintentional intentional walk, to set up the force play at every base. But Jacoby Ellsbury hit a grounder to 3rd, and Hicks scored.

Girardi sent the newly called-up Ben Heller to pitch the bottom of the 10th, and he had rookie jitters. He hit Mondesi. He let Mondesi steal 2nd. He gave up a single to Dyson that got Mondesi to 3rd -- as the tying run with nobody out. He let Dyson steal 2nd. Then he struck out Cain, and Girardi told him to intentionally walk Hosmer.

Then Girardi pulled Heller for Chasen Shreve. What kind of a bonehead bullpen decision was this?!? No kind: Shreve struck Morales out, and got Salvador Perez to fly to center to end the game.

Whew. Yankees 5, Royals 4 in 10. WP: Betances (3-4). SV: Shreve (1). LP: Soria (4-6).

Lucky. Of course, it never should have come to that. A 4-0 lead had been blown. As they would say in English soccer, "Four-nil, and you fucked it up!" And, again, Cashman's gutting of the bullpen was an issue.

*

On Wednesday night, Luis Cessa started, and did not have good stuff. He managed to get through 6 innings, allowing 4 runs, 3 of them earned, on 6 hits and a walk. Not bad, but hardly effective. Shreve kept it going from the previous night, as he pitched a scoreless 7th and a perfect 8th. Girardi brought Layne in for 1 batter (again), and then Warren, and, between them, they pitched a perfect 9th.

Against former Yankee Ian Kennedy, the Bronx Bombers struggled for 5 innings. But Ellsbury led off the 6th with a single, Gary Sanche drew a walk, Mark Teixeira hit a sacrifice fly to get Ells to 3rd, and Gregorius hit another sac fly to score Ellsbury. Then Starlin Castro crushed a 415-foot drive to left-center, his 19th home run of the year, and it was 4-3 K.C.

With 1 out in the 7th, Hicks drew a walk, and Royals manager Ned Yost had seen enough of Kennedy. I guess he asked not what his starting pitcher could do for him, and asked what he could do with his bullpen. He brought in Scott Alexander, and he was neither Great Scott nor Alexander the Great. Gardner singled Hicks over to 3rd, and Ellsbury brought him home with a game-tying sac fly. This time, it was the Royals who'd fully blown a 4-0 lead.

This one also went to extra innings. Parker redeemed himself with a perfect bottom of the 10th, and worked out of a jam in the 11th. Heller pitched a perfect 12th.

Gregorius led off the top of the 13th by beating out a grounder to 1st. Castro smacked a double to left, sending Didi to 3rd. McCann hit yet another sac fly, and Didi scored.

Betances walked Cuthbert to start the bottom of the 13th, and, as we all know, those walks'll kill you, especially the leadoff walk. This is why the double play is known as The Pitcher's Friend, and Betances got Hosmer to ground into one. Then he got Morales to fly to right to end it.

Yankees 5, Royals 4 in 13. WP: Heller (1-0, his 1st major league win). SV: Betances (7). LP: Chris Young (3-9).

The Yankees came close to sweeping this series. They came even closer to getting swept.

*

So here's how things stand, with the Yankees having 30 games left: The Toronto Blue Jays lead the American League Eastern Division, the Boston Red Sox are 2 games behind them, the Baltimore Orioles are 4 games back, the Yankees are 6 1/2 back (6 in the loss column), and the Tampa Bay Rays are 19 1/2 games back, out of the race.

In the Wild Card race, the Red Sox hold the 1st slot, and the Orioles and the Detroit Tigers are tied for the 2nd. The Houston Astros trail by 1 game, the Yankees by 2 1/2 (2 in the loss column), the Royals by 3, and the Seattle Mariners by 4.

So the Yankees are very much in the Wild Card race, and the Division is still a possibility, especially with 7 games left against Toronto, 7 against Boston and 6 against Baltimore.

And tonight, the Yankees begin a 3-game series away to those Orioles, before coming home for a big, big 3-game series against those pesky Blue Jays. Here are the projected pitching matchups:

* Tonight, 7:05 PM: Chad Green vs. Dylan Bundy.

* Tomorrow, 7:05 PM: CC Sabathia vs. Kevin Gausman.

* Sunday, 1:35 PM: Pineda vs. Wade Miley.

Come on you Bombers! Let's roast those Birds. Smoke 'em like Boog Powell does to that meat out behind the right-field wall at Camden Yards!

"I'm in hell!"– Morgan Freeman
"Worse: You're in Texas!"– Chris Rock
-- Nurse Betty

On Sunday, September 11, the New York Giants play the Dallas Cowboys, in what Texas native Molly Ivins – frequently sarcastically – called The Great State.

An example of her writing: "In the Great State, you can get 5 years for murder, and 99 for pot possession." (I once sent the late, great newspaper columnist an e-mail asking if it could be knocked down to 98 years if you didn't inhale. Sadly, she never responded.)

If there is one thing that fans of 31 out of the 32 NFL teams can agree on, it's that they hate the Cowboys. Or, as is said from New York to San Francisco, from Seattle to Miami, and especially in Philadelphia and Washington, "Dallas Sucks!"

Before You Go. It's not just The South, it's Texas. This is the State that elected George W. Bush, Rick Perry, Greg Abbott and Bill Clements Governor; Dick Armey, Tom DeLay, Ron Paul and Louie Gohmert to the House of Representatives; and Phil Gramm and Ted Cruz to the Senate -- and thinks the rest of the country isn't conservative enough. This is the State where, in political terms, somebody like Long Island's conservative Congressman Peter King is considered a sissy. This is a State that thinks that poor nonwhites don't matter at all, and that poor whites only matter if you can convince them that, no matter how bad their life is, they're still better than the (slur on blacks) and the (slur on Hispanics).

So if you go to Dallas for this game, it would be best to avoid political discussions. And, for crying out loud, don't mention that, now over half a century ago, a liberal Democratic President was killed in Dallas. They might say JFK had it comin''cause he was a (N-word)-lovin' Communist. (Such people have included Clint Murchison, father of Clint Murchison Jr., the Cowboys' original owner, in the conspiracy theories, due to JFK's interest in eliminating a tax break known as the oil-depletion allowance.)

No. I'm not kidding. There are some Texans think like this -- and, among their own people, they will be less likely to hold back. So don't ask them what they think. About anything.

At any rate, before we go any further, enjoy Lewis Black's R-rated smackdown of Rick Perry and the State of Texas as a whole. Perry is so stupid and myopic, he makes Dubya look like Pat Moynihan.

Also within the realm of "It's not just The South, it's Texas," you should be prepared for hot weather. It's not just the heat that's so bad, it's the humidity. And the mosquitoes. You think it was only the heat that made the Houston Astros build the Astrodome? Sandy Koufax said, "Some of the bugs they've got down there are twin-engine jobs." At least, unlike in baseball, the Dallas-area football team has a dome. But you'll have to spend some time outside. It's hot, it's humid, it's muggy and it's buggy, and they have that shit all the time.

So, before you go, check the websites of the Dallas Morning News and the Fort Worth Star-Telegram (the "Startle-gram") for the weather. Right now, they're talking about it being in the nasty mid-90s during daylight, and the lows 70s at night. Most likely, this would mean the roof will be closed. Regardless of what the newspapers say, bring bugspray, and remember to keep yourself hydrated.

Texas is in the Central Time Zone, 1 hour behind New York. (The exception is the southwestern corner, including El Paso, which borders New Mexico, so it's in the Mountain Time Zone.) Adjust your timepieces accordingly.

Despite Texas' foreignness -- and that's before you factor in the Mexican-American presence, which improves things -- and its former Confederate status, you do not need to bring your passport or change your money.

Tickets. AT&T Stadium -- not to be confused with AT&T Park, home of the San Francisco Giants; or the AT&T Center, home of the San Antonio Spurs -- is the largest in the NFL, and, last season, the Cowboys averaged 91,459 fans per home game, the highest in the league. Officially, there are 80,000 seats, but, with standing-room, they can reach 108,713 (for the 2010 NBA All-Star Game, the largest attendance ever for a basketball game, at any level, anywhere in the world).

For the stadium's opening game, against the Giants on September 21, 2009, 105,121 people crammed in, a record for a regular-season game in any of the 4 major North American sports. (You might remember Jason Tynes winning the game for the G-Men with a last-second field goal. The largest crowd ever to see an American-style football game is 112,376, for a preseason game between the Cowboys and the Houston Oilers at the Azteca Stadium in Mexico City in 1994.)

What I'm trying to say is, if you haven't already found tickets, you're probably not going to get them from the Cowboys' website, and you're certainly not going to walk up to the stadium 5 minutes before kickoff and say, "Gimme the best pair of seats you got left" and walk away with anything but frustration. You'll have to go to the NFL Ticket Exchange, StubHub, or (not that I would ever recommend this, especially for an away game) a scalper.

You know the old saying that everything is big in Texas? Count football ticket prices in that. The best seats available on StubHub are in the Main Level, the 200 sections, and are going for over $250. Seats way up in the 400 level are going for $127 on up. Standing room tickets are going for $30. I don't know about you, but I'm not standing for 3 hours unless they pay me at least $30.

Be warned: Those giant viewscreens hanging from the roof block some views, so that, despite being arguably the "most modern" stadium ever built, some seats at this place are obstructed-view, as if it had been built 100 years earlier. Jerry Jones had years to plan this stadium out, and, whatever else he might be, he's no dummy. So for him to have allowed this to happen is inexcusable.

Getting There. It is 1,551 miles from Midtown Manhattan to downtown Dallas, and 1,564 miles from MetLife Stadium to AT&T Stadium. So unless you want to be cooped up for 24-30 hours, you... are... flying.

Nonstop flights on United Airlines from Newark, Kennedy or LaGuardia airports to Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport could set you back as little as $530 round-trip. DFW is a major airline hub: American Airlines has its corporate headquarters there. And yet, American offers fewer nonstops at considerably higher prices. There is Orange Line rail service from the airport to Dallas' Union Station, but it will take about an hour and a half.

Amtrak offers the Lake Shore Limited (a variation on the old New York Central Railroad's 20th Century Limited), leaving Penn Station at 3:40 PM Eastern Time and arriving at Chicago's Union Station at 9:45 AM Central Time. Then switch to the Texas Eagle at 1:45 PM, and arrive at Dallas' Union Station (400 S. Houston Street at Wood Street) the following morning at 11:30. It would be $494 round-trip, and that's with sleeping in a coach seat, before buying a room with a bed on each train. That would push it close to $2,000.

As with American Airlines, Dallas is actually Greyhound's hometown, or at least the location of its corporate headquarters: 205 S. Lamar Street at Commerce Street, which is also the address of their Dallas station. If you look at Greyhound buses, you'll notice they all have Texas license plates. So, how bad can the bus be?

Well, it is cheaper: $302 round-trip, and advanced purchase can get it down to $359. But it won't be much shorter: It's a 38-hour trip, and you'll have to change buses at least twice, in Richmond, Virginia (and I don't like the Richmond station) and either Atlanta or Memphis.

Oh... kay. So what about driving? As I said, over 1,500 miles. I would definitely recommend bringing a friend and sharing the driving. The fastest way from New York to Dallas is to get into New Jersey, take Interstate 78 West across the State and into Pennsylvania, then turn to Interstate 81 South, across Pennsylvania, the "panhandles" of Maryland and West Virginia, and across the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia into Tennessee, where I-81 will flow into Interstate 40.

Take I-40 into Arkansas, and switch to Interstate 30 in Little Rock, taking it into the Dallas-Fort Worth metropolitan area, a.k.a. "The Metroplex." Between the forks of Interstate 35, I-30 is named the Tom Landry Freeway, after the legendary Cowboys coach. Exit 29 is used for the stadium. If you've ever seen TV footage of the team's previous home, Texas Stadium, it will look like an updated version of that.

Once you get across the Hudson River into New Jersey, you should be in New Jersey for about an hour, Pennsylvania for 3 hours, Maryland for 15 minutes, West Virginia for half an hour, Virginia for 5 and a half hours (more than the entire trip will be before you get to Virginia), 8 hours and 15 minutes in Tennessee, 3 hours in Arkansas, and about 3 hours and 45 minutes in Texas.

Taking 45-minute rest stops in or around (my recommendations) Harrisburg, Pennsylvania; Charlottesville, Virginia; Bristol, on the Virginia/Tennessee State Line; Nashville and Memphis, Tennessee; Little Rock and Texarkana, Arkansas; and accounting for overruns there and for traffic at each end of the journey, and we’re talking 31 hours. So, leaving New York at around 7:00 Eastern Time on Saturday morning, you should be able to reach the Metroplex at around 1:00 Central Time on Sunday afternoon, giving you 2 hours before kickoff.

But it would be better to leave on Friday afternoon, reach the area on Saturday night, and get a hotel. Fortunately, AT&T Stadium is in Arlington, midway between the downtowns of Dallas and Fort Worth. Well before either the Rangers or the Cowboys set up shop in Arlington, Six Flags Over Texas did so, as the original theme park in the Six Flags chain (opening in 1961), and so there are plenty of hotels available nearby. They’re also likely to be cheaper than the ones in downtown Dallas.

Once In the City. Dallas (population about 1,250,000, founded in 1856) was named after George Mifflin Dallas, a Mayor of Philadelphia and Senator from Pennsylvania who was James K. Polk's Vice President (1845-49). Fort Worth (about 800,000, founded in 1849) was named for William Jenkins Worth, a General in the War of 1812 and the Mexican-American War. And Arlington (375,000, founded in 1876) was named for the Virginia city across the Potomac River from Washington, D.C., as a tribute to Confederate General Robert E. Lee.

The population of the entire Metroplex is about 6.8 million and climbing, although when you throw in Oklahoma, southern Arkansas and northern Louisiana, the total population of the Cowboys'"market" is about 19 million -- a little less than the New York Tri-State Area, and soon it will surpass us.

Commerce Street divides Dallas street addresses into North and South. Beckley Avenue, across the Trinity River from downtown, appears to divide them into East and West. The sales tax in the State of Texas is 6.25 percent, in Dallas County 8.25 percent, and in Tarrant County (including Arlington and Fort Worth) 8 percent even.

Dallas Area Rapid Transit (DART) runs buses and light rail trains. A 2-hour pass costs $2.50, and a day pass is $5.00 local and $10.00 regional (if you want to go beyond Dallas to Arlington or Fort Worth).

Going In. AT&T Stadium is 19 miles west of downtown in Dallas, and 15 miles east of downtown Fort Worth, about halfway between. Arlington is in Fort Worth's Tarrant County, not Dallas County. The official address is 1 AT&T Way.

Public transportation is a relatively new idea in Texas. While Dallas has built a subway and light rail system, and it has a bus service, until recently, Arlington was the largest city in the country with no public transportation at all.

If you got a hotel near the various Arlington attractions, you're in luck: The Arlington Entertainment District Trolley goes to the area hotels and to the stadiums and theme parks. But if your hotel is in Dallas, you'll have to take Trinity Rail Express (TRE) to Centerport Station, and then transfer to bus 221, and take that to Collins & Andrew Streets. And even then, you'd have to walk over a mile down Collins to get to the stadium. The whole thing is listed as taking an hour and 50 minutes.

But at least it's now possible to get from Dallas to a Cowboy game and back without spending $50 on taxis. So how much is it? From Union Station to Centerport, each way, is $2.50. I don't know what the zones are for the bus, but a Day Pass is $5.00, meaning that getting there and back could top out at $10, which is reasonable considering the distance involved.

There are 12,000 parking spaces on site, and another 12,000 are available at the nearby Rangers ballpark. Parking is $15, and tailgating is permitted.

Most likely, you'll enter at the northwest corner of the stadium. The field is laid out northeast to southwest, which is usually frowned upon due to the angle of the sun. But the stadium is so large, and the roof, even when open blocks out so much of the sky that the sun is not a problem for offenses. The field is "Matrix artificial turf."

Originally named Cowboys Stadium, but nicknamed the Palace In Dallas, the Death Star, Jerry World and Jerr-assic Park, it has now hosted a Super Bowl, an NCAA Final Four (2014, Connecticut over Kentucky), some major prizefights and concerts, and, as mentioned, the 2010 NBA All-Star Game.

The Cowboys offer tours of this Texas-sized facility, which will make the new Yankee Stadium seem sensible by comparison.

Food. Going along with the "Everything is big in Texas" idea, you would think that the Cowboys' megastadium would have more concession stands than any stadium in the NFL, and big portions. They don't disappoint. I can't even list the cardiac-crushing stuff they serve, you'll have to click this link.

Team History Displays. At Texas Stadium, the Cowboys used to hang a Super Bowl banner at each end. Once they started winning them again in the 1990s, the 2 from the 1970s were placed at one end, and the new ones at the other. Now, the 5 are all hung together at one end. Although the Cowboys have won 8 NFC titles and 21 Divisional titles, they do not hang references to those anywhere in the open area, much as the Yankees, Boston Celtics and Montreal Canadiens only display references to World Championships.
Cowboy fans aren't very bright. Much like Manchester United fans (who, at least, did have some achievements before the 1992 founding of the Premier League), Cowboy fans act as though anything that happened before the Super Bowl era doesn't count. In other words, to a Cowboy fan, they've won 5 Super Bowls, while the Giants have won "only" 4. An intelligent fan who knows his history will remind them that things that happened in the NFL from 1920 to 1966 do count, and that the actual count is Giants 8, Cowboys 5. (This also boosts the Green Bay Packers past the Cowboys, going from 4 to 13, and the Chicago Bears from 1 to 9. It also makes their arch-rivals, the Washington Redskins, equal, going from 3 to 5.)

Although legendary uniform numbers such as 8, 12, 22 and 74 are not handed out anymore, the Cowboys do not officially retire numbers. Instead, they have a Ring of Honor, originally around the facing of the upper deck at Texas Stadium, in white letters on a blue background; now around that of the current facility, but with blue letters on white. There are currently 21 honorees:

* From the 1960s, but not lasting until Super Bowl VI: Quarterback Don Meredith, Number 17; and running back Don Perkins, 43.

* From the Super Bowl VI team that won the 1971 NFL Championship: General Manager Tex Schramm, head coach Tom Landry; quarterback Roger Staubach, 12; receiver Bob Hayes, 22; offensive tackle Rayfield Wright, 70; defensive tackle Bob Lilly, 74; linebackers Lee Roy Jordan, 55, and Chuck Howley, 54; and cornerback Mel Renfro, 20. (That team also featured 4 Hall-of-Famers better known for playing for other teams: Forrest Gregg and Herb Adderley of Green Bay, Mike Ditka of Dallas, and Lance Alworth of San Diego.)

* From the Super Bowl XII team that won the 1977 NFL Championship: Schramm, Landry, Staubach, Wright; running back Tony Dorsett, 33; receiver Drew Pearson, 88; defensive tackle Randy White, 54; and safety Cliff Harris, 43.

* From the Super Bowl XXVII, XXVIII and XXX teams that won the 1992, 1993 and 1995 NFL Championships: Quarterback Troy Aikman, 8; running back Emmitt Smith, 22; receiver Michael Irvin, 88; guard Larry Allen, 73; defensive end Charles Haley, 94; and, being installed this coming November, safety Darren Woodson, 28.
Jerry Jones, not one to go out of his way to avoid bad taste, has not yet shown taste so bad that he would induct himself. But, while he seems to have patched things up with former coach Jimmy Johnson, he hasn't inducted Jimmy, who coached the 1st 2 of those titles. Nor has he inducted the coach of the 3rd, Barry Switzer.

Johnson, formerly of the University of Miami, and Switzer, of the University of Oklahoma, not only competed against each other for National Championships -- and for Statewide bragging rights, as Johnson's previous job was at Oklahoma State -- but they are also the only coaches to win both an NCAA and an NFL title. Pete Carroll would have been the 3rd with the Seattle Seahawks' title earlier this year, but his USC team had to vacate their 2 titles.

Lilly was named to the NFL's 75th Anniversary Team in 1994. So was Ditka, who ended his playing career and began his coaching career with the Cowboys under Landry. Lilly, Ditka, Staubach, White, Dorsett, Aikman, Smith and Sanders were named to The Sporting News' 100 Greatest Football Players in 1999. Those players, as well as Michael Irvin and Larry Allen, were named to the NFL Network's 100 Greatest Players in 2010.

Stuff. There are souvenir stands and shops all over the place, some of them selling Western wear (actual "cowboy" clothing, including oversized Cowboy hats) with team logos in it. Some of these items may have the always-ridiculous "America's Team" slogan on them.

As you might expect from the glitziest (though not the most glorious) team in the NFL, there are DVDs galore about them. All 5 Super Bowl wins are available in a single highlight package. NFL Films' Production The Dallas Cowboys -- The Complete History is no longer all that complete, only going up to 2003, but at least (if you're a Cowboy fan) you won't have to sit through the failures and foibles of Tony Romo. There are videos about the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (oh yes, they may have been a product of the Salacious Seventies, but they still exist), and a DVD titled Dallas Cowboys Heroes looks at such figures as Landry, Lilly, Staubach, Aikman, Smith and, yes, Romo.

NFL Films also produced Dallas Cowboys: 10 Greatest Games. It includes the original network broadcasts of all 5 Super Bowl wins, plus the NFC Championship Games from the last 3 Super Bowl seasons, the 1975 Playoff against the Minnesota Vikings featuring the Staubach to Pearson touchdown that made "Hail Mary" a football term for a desperation pass (and which Cowboy-haters still say was offensive pass interference), and a 1981 Playoff comeback against the Atlanta Falcons.

You don't usually think of Dallas having much of a literary tradition -- or of Cowboy fans being functionally literate -- but there are a few books about the Cowboys. Some praise them. But why would you want to read that kind of crap? Two recently-published Cowboy-hater books are Jeff Stevenson's Dallas Cowboys, "America's Team" No More (note the quotation marks, as he knows they were never really that), and I Hate the Dallas Cowboys: Tales of a Scrappy New York Boyhood by Thomas R. Pryor.

Chad Millman and Shawn Coyne wrote The Ones Who Hit the Hardest: The Steelers, the Cowboys, the '70s, and the Battle for America's Soul. It does a terrific job of telling the cultural histories of both Pittsburgh and Dallas, and the teams that played in those cities, up until their meeting in Super Bowl XIII in 1979. The problem is, the book ends with the postgame of that Super Bowl, and doesn't really explain who won "the battle for America's soul."

Indeed, while the Seventies Steelers are now regarded as one of the greatest football teams of all time, while the Seventies Cowboys are a level below them (the Steelers beat them in Super Bowl X, too), looking at America from the Eighties onward, we have become much more like Dallas and the Cowboys (materialistic, self-indulgent, instant-gratification-seeking, drug-ridden, yet sanctimonious about religion) than we have like Pittsburgh and the Steelers (hard-working, patient, team-oriented, magnanimous in victory, appreciative of the people who got us there). Good book, but the lack of a true epilogue stops it from being a great book. But it is as good a look at the 1st 20 years of the Cowboys (or the building of the Steeler dynasty) that we are likely to get anytime soon.

During the Game. A recent Thrillist article cites the Cowboys as having the 3rd most obnoxious fans in the NFL, behind only New England and Oakland. (However, they rate the Jets 4th and the Giants 8th, so take it all for whatever you think it's worth.) Okay, they're stupid, and they're obnoxious. But are they rough? Well, I would advise you against wearing Philadelphia Eagles, and especially Washington Redskins gear.

However, while they certainly don't like New York in Texas, wearing Giant gear probably won't get you in trouble. And, this being a stadium, you're gonna get searched, and so is everyone else, so Texas' infamously lenient gun laws will be rendered useless. You're not going to get shot. Even JFK and J.R. Ewing wouldn't have gotten shot at AT&T Stadium.

Freddie Jones, the leader of the Freddie Jones Jazz Group, plays the National Anthem before every game, on his signature blue Martin Committee Trumpet. The Cowboys don't have a fight song, and as far as I know there are no common chants. But you might hear fans shout out Jimmy Johnson's old line, "How 'bout them Cowboys!"

Before You Go. Buffalo is located on the Niagara River, between Lakes Erie and Ontario. As a result, it is known for cold weather, and it faced a particularly nasty snowstorm in the Winter of 2014-15. Orchard Park, the suburb in which the Bills' stadium squats, is right on Lake Erie, and while it's slightly more inland than downtown Buffalo, the wind is actually worse at that spot.

This being mid-September, the stereotypical Buffalo cold won't be an issue. The Buffalo News (I know, not an imaginative name for a newspaper, but it's the only daily the city has left) is predicting temperatures for Thursday afternoon to be in the low 80s in daylight and the low 60s at night. Dress as you would if the game were at home.

Buffalo may be considerably to the west of New York City and New Jersey, and it is, geographically and culturally, more of a Midwestern city than a Northeastern one. But it is still in the Eastern Time Zone, so you won't have to fiddle with your timepieces.

However, since it is on the Canadian border, and there are tourist attractions nearby (including Niagara Falls, which now has legalized gambling as well as its natural wonder, the falls itself), you might want to bring your passport, as they'll send you back over the border without one. Right now, the exchange rate really favors the U.S.: US$1.00 = C$1.38, while C$1.00 = U.S. 72 cents.

Tickets. In spite of its passionate fan base, the Bills averaged only 96 percent of capacity last season -- 69,880 fans out of 73,079 seats. (It was 80,020 until wider seats were installed in 1998.) This is largely due to the Bills not having made the Playoffs in this century.

Seriously: Their last Playoff season was 1999, their last Playoff game "The Music City Miracle" defeat to Tennessee on January 8, 2000, their last home Playoff game on December 28, 1996 -- at the end of Bill Clinton's 1st term as President. No team in all the big 4 North American sports has gone longer without making the Playoffs. The next-longest is the Seattle Mariners, whose last postseason game was on October 22, 2001.

With the Bills still being the sports team in Western New York, tickets may still be hard to come by. Fortunately, they have among the least expensive tickets in the NFL. Unfortunately, they classify the Jets, and only the Jets, as a "Platinum" game, so they charge their highest prices. (I guess they figured they could gouge New Yorkers, and it wouldn't generate much fuss.) Seats in the lower level, the 100 sections, are $152 and $133 along the sidelines, and $103 in the end zones. The 200 sections are all sold-out club seats on the sidelines, but the end zone seats are $86. In the upper level, the 300 sections, seats are $133 and $114 along the sidelines, except for $86 seats at the back, with no end-zone seats in that level.

Getting There. It's 375 road miles from Times Square to Niagara Square in downtown Buffalo, and 358 miles from MetLife Stadium to Ralph Wilson Stadium in Orchard Park. Buffalo is one of those cities that's too close to fly to, but to far to get there any other way. United Airlines offers round-trip nonstop flights for as little as $430. If you do fly in, the Number 24 bus will get you from Buffalo Niagara International Airport, 11 miles northeast of downtown, in about 50 minutes.

Amtrak's Maple Leaf, its New York-to-Toronto service, leaves Penn Station at 7:15 AM, and arrives at Buffalo's Exchange Street Station at 3:14 PM, just under 8 hours later (if it's on time). Its return trip leaves Buffalo at 1:05 PM and arrives at Penn Station at 9:50 PM. However, for tomorrow, it's sold out. There is, however, another Amtrak train, the Empire Service, leaving Penn Station at 10:20 AM and arriving at Exchange Street at 6:24 PM. The Maple Leaf going back on Monday afternoon at 1:05 is still available. It's $130 round-trip -- given Amtrak's standards, that's quite cheap considering the distance. The station is at Exchange & Washington Streets, just 3 blocks north of the arena.

Greyhound runs 12 buses a day from New York's Port Authority Bus Terminal to Buffalo. Round-trip fare is $204, but it can drop to $102 with advanced purchase. The terminal is at 181 Ellicott Street at Eagle Street, just 7 blocks north of the arena.

If you do drive, get into New Jersey to Interstate 80, and take it all the way across the State. Shortly after crossing the Delaware River and entering Pennsylvania, take I-380, following the signs for Scranton, until reaching I-81. (If you’ve driven to a game of the Yankees’ Triple-A farm team, the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees, you already know this part.) Take I-81 north into New York State. (If you’ve driven to a game of the Mets’ Double-A farm team, the Binghamton Mets, you already know this part.) Continue on I-81 past Binghamton and to Syracuse, where you’ll get on the New York State Thruway, which, at this point, is I-90. Continue on the Thruway west, past Rochester, to Buffalo.

Once in the area, take I-90 to U.S. Route 219/Southern Expressway South, to State Route 179/Milestrip Road West, to Abbott Road South. Once you cross over U.S. Route 20, the stadium will be on your left.

With 2 rest stops -- I recommend on one side of the Delaware or the other, and another around Syracuse -- you should be able to make the trip in about 7 hours.

The Yankees needed to take at least 2 out of 3 in their weekend series against the Orioles in Baltimore to stay in the American League Eastern Division race, and to strengthen their place in the Wild Card race.

It didn't happen.

The Friday night game was an outright disaster. Chad Green started, but was hurt, had nothing, and had to leave the game in the 2nd inning, having already allowed 4 runs. Nick Goody allowed 2 more before the inning was over, and Kirby Yates allowed 2 more.

But our starter could have been fine, and pitched very well, but it wouldn't have mattered. Here's what Oriole starter Dylan Bundy allowed in 5 2/3rds innings: A single (and a pickoff) and a walk by Brett Gardner, a single by Jacoby Ellsbury, a walk by Mark Teixeira, a walk by Chase Headley, and a walk by Gary Sanchez. Here's what relievers Donnie Hart, Vance Worley and Tommy Hunter allowed in the remaining 3 1/3rd innings: No baserunners at all. Not one Yankee batter even reached 2nd base.

Orioles 8, Yankees 0. WP: Bundy (8-5). No save. LP: Green (2-4). Worst game of the season, and at a very inopportune time.

Green went on the Disabled List. We probably won't see him again until Spring Training.

*

The Saturday night showed what happened when you get good pitching, but not good hitting. CC Sabathia started, and went 6 innings, allowing 2 runs (1 earned) on 6 hits and 2 walks. That should have been enough. But the home run he gave up to Adam Jones turned out to be all the O's needed.

Because Kevin Gausman can now be put into the category of "Pitchers Who Drive the Yankees and Their Fans Nuts." He went 6 innings and allowed 2 hits. Between him, Mycal Givens, Brad Brach and Zach Britton -- again, 4 pitchers, but 4 completely different pitchers than the ones who shut the Yankees out the night before -- they allowed only the following: Singles by Sanchez, Headley, Starling Castro and Brian McCann; walks by Ellsbury and Aaron Judge; and Didi Gregorius was hit by a pitch.

The Yankees loaded the bases as a result of the Didi HBP, but Gausman worked out of the jam. That was the only time in the 1st 2 games the Yankees got a man to 2nd base, let alone to 3rd.

Orioles 2, Yankees 0. WP: Gausman (7-10). SV: Britton (40). LP: Sabathia (8-12).

*

So as you prepared to watch the Sunday afternoon game, you could have been forgiven for thinking that, with Michael Pineda starting, the Orioles would complete the sweep.

But the Yankees scored 3 runs in the top of the 1st inning, on an RBI single by Headley and a 2-RBI single by Austin Romine. Headley beat out an infield single in the 3rd, allowing a run to score. And a Gardner sacrifice fly in the 9th brought an insurance run.

Joe Girardi really juggled the pitching staff. Pineda didn't pitch badly over 4 innings -- 2 runs on 5 hits and 2 walks -- but Girardi took him out, seeing he'd already thrown 87 pitches. (That damn binder again.) He let Luis Severino pitch the 5th and 6th innings, and he allowed 2 walks, but no hits, and no runs. Tommy Layne, Adam Warren, Tyler Clippard and Dellin Betances got the remaining outs. Aside from a single given up by Clippard, they were perfect.

Yankees 5, Orioles 2. WP: Severino (2-8), because the rule says that a starting pitcher must pitch 5 innings to qualify for the win. If he doesn't, then the win is granted to another pitcher at the discretion of the official scorer. SV: Betances (8). LP: Wade Miley (8-12).

*

So here's where we stand. There are 4 weeks left in the regular season, with 27 remaining scheduled games -- in other words, only 1 day off.

The Yankees are 70-65, 6 1/2 games behind the Toronto Blue Jays in the AL East, 6 in the loss column. The Boston Red Sox trail the Jays by 1 game, the Orioles by 3. The O's and the Detroit Tigers are currently tied for the 2nd AL Wild Card slot, and the Yankees trail by 3 1/2, 3 in the loss column.

Today, the Yankees begin their most important series of the season, home to those pesky Blue Jays. Here are the projected starting pitchers:

* Today, first pitch scheduled for 1:05 PM (a Labor Day matinee): Masahiro Tanaka vs. R.A. Dickey.

* Tomorrow, 7:05 PM: Luis Cessa vs. Aaron Sanche.

* Wednesday, 7:05 PM: Severino vs. Marcus Strohman. Although, with Sevy having pitched 2 innings yesterday, I don't think he's going to end up starting on 2 days' rest. Unless Girardi wants to play musical chairs with the bullpen again. (With September roster callups, it might be possible, but that doesn't necessarily make it recommended.)

If the Yankees want to make the Playoffs, or even win the Division, they must take 2 out of 3 from the Jays.

This is the season right here.

This Friday night, at 7:00 PM, my alma mater, East Brunswick High School, opens its 56th season of varsity football, away to Sayreville War Memorial High School.

It will be another 2 weeks, until Friday, September 23, before Da Bears play a home game, against Monroe Township High School.

Here's my how-to guide for the school for whom I was once the most famous (or infamous) fan.

Before You Go. The school is only 38 miles from Midtown Manhattan, so the weather will be just about the same. Of course, so is the time zone. And you won't have to change your money or bring a passport. But you will need cash for the New Jersey Turnpike toll if you're driving -- and at the Lincoln Tunnel on the way back.

Tickets. The stadium seats about 4,300, and, unlike when I was there in the mid-1980s, it rarely sells out. You will have a place to sit. I won't say you'll have a "seat," since they're aluminum benches. Adult tickets are $5.00.

Getting There. Getting from New York City to New Brunswick by public transportation is easy: Take the New Jersey Transit Northeast Corridor to New Brunswick station. Getting from The City to East Brunswick is harder.
New Jersey Transit runs the Number 138 bus from Port Authority Bus Terminal down the New Jersey Turnpike to New Jersey Route 18, but you'll have a 15-minute walk from the nearest bus stop, at Arthur Street, to the stadium. And that's a rush hour bus only, so you wouldn't be able to get back.
If you take the train to New Brunswick station and transfer to NJT's Bus 818, you could get to Arthur Street and make the walk, and you could walk back and get a Bus 818 back to New Brunswick at about 9:05 PM. If you miss that one, the last one is 9:55 PM.

Coach USA (formerly Suburban Transit) runs buses from Port Authority to Neilson Plaza, part of the Tower Center complex just off the Turnpike's Exit 9, every hour and half-hour, and going back at :25 and :55 after the hour, plus rush-hour service. But you'd still have to get from Tower Center to the school, and you'd have to transfer to the 818.

So driving is the best way. Take the Turnpike to Exit 9, and take Route 18 South. It will be about 3 miles before you see a sign saying, "Cranbury Rd., Cranbury." If you see the Colonial Diner on your left, you've gone too far. And taking the jughandle onto Arthur Street won't help, as Arthur leads to Summerhill Road, where there's a back way onto the campus (which you would take if you were walking from Arthur Street), but it has a gate that's usually closed (though it will be opened after the game).

When you get onto Cranbury Road, the school will be about a mile ahead on the left. The street address is 380 Cranbury Road. Turn left, then go up the twisty hill. The gymnasium will be on the right, but you'll have to go nearly all the way around the school to get to the stadium, which will be on your left -- as will the baseball field. "Special Police" will guide you to a parking space, which will be free.

Once In the City. East Brunswick is named for the adjoining City of New Brunswick, the seat of Middlesex County. New Brunswick is named for an English town, whose name was taken from the German city of Braunschweig in Lower Saxony, taken from "Bruno's wik." A wik was a marketplace and a rest stop for travelers in medieval Germany. Bruno, Brun, or Braun -- the English name Brown and the German name von Braun come from him -- was Duke of Saxony, and is a Catholic saint. He is said to have founded Braunschweig in AD 861.

What is now East Brunswick was first settled by Europeans in 1677, near what is now the northern end of town, the Lawrence Brook area. By the middle of the 19th Century, people were settling the southeastern part of town, what became known as the Old Bridge section.

In 1860, parts of the Townships of North Brunswick and Monroe were separated, to form the Township of East Brunswick. An eastern section was separated as the Borough of South River in 1870, a southwestern portion as the Borough of Helmetta in 1888, a western portion as the Borough of Milltown in 1896, and a southern portion as the Borough of Spotswood in 1908.

A body of water known at various points as Farrington Lake, Lawrence Brook and Westons Mill Pond forms the northwestern border between East Brunswick and North Brunswick, bisects Milltown, and then forms a border between East Brunswick and New Brunswick, before flowing into the Raritan River, separating East Brunswick from the Township of Edison. The Borough of Sayreville borders E.B. in 2 separate places, with South River wedged in between. The Township of Madison was on the southeastern border, and, in 1975, took the name of the adjoining Old Bridge section of E.B., in order to avoid confusion with the Borough of Madison in Morris County. Spotswood, Helmetta and Monroe are on the southern border, and the Township of South Brunswick is on the southwestern border.

Although County Route 535, the Bordentown-Amboy Turnpike, is named Main Street in E.B., Spotswood and Helmetta, it is not E.B.'s main street. That would be New Jersey Route 18, which cuts down the eastern side of town from New Brunswick to Old Bridge. Known as State Highway S-28 from 1927 to 1953, it was relabeled Route 18, and expanded in 1961 as the post-World War II building boom increased E.B.'s population from 5,000 in 1950 to 10,000 in 1960 to 34,000 in 1970. Route 18's directions were labeled East and West until 1982, then changed to North and South. (West, now North, heading toward New Brunswick; East, now South, heading toward the Jersey Shore.) The population was 47,512 in the 2010 Census, and estimated last year to be 48,976.

Address numbers on Route 18 increase going southbound, but there's no set street numbers in the town. While major intersections do look like a "century block" system -- 100 at Naricon Place, 200 at Tices Lane, 300 at Tices Lane -- this system does not hold south of that. Nor is there a "zero" point for east-west streets. To make matters more confusing, one of the main north-south roads, Ryders Lane, County Route 617, becomes a major east-west road at the municipal complex, the Jean Walling Civic Center (named for the town's 1st female Mayor, who died in office in 1975, not long after authorizing it).

That Civic Center, which includes one of the State's best public libraries, is over 2 miles west of Route 18, which is where pretty much everything else of interest in town is, including:

* Neilson Plaza, including the Tower Center complex with its "minor-league twin towers," which opened in 1986, at 18 & Naricon Place. (See the photo at the top of the page.)

* The East Brunswick Transportation Center, also sending commuter buses to New York.

* Mid-State Mall, a strip mall which opened in the late 1950s, which features a Shop-Rite, a Best Buy, a Boston Market and a Starbucks, at 18 & Tices Lane.

* And the Brunswick Square Mall, an enclosed mall which opened in 1972, including a Macy's (formerly a Bamberger's), a JCPenney, a Barnes & Noble, a Red Robin (soon to open, replacing the longstanding Ruby Tuesday), a Panera, a Tilted Kilt, and a large movie theater, at 18 & Rues Lane.

Two New Jersey Transit commuter bus lines go through the town. The 68 provides service to the Jersey City waterfront, and the 138 to Port Authority. NJT's local service sends 2 buses from the New Brunswick train station down Route 18 to Ferris Street. The 818 continues south on 18 to the Brunswick Square Mall, and then on to Old Bridge. The 815 turns onto Ferris Street, then down the Old Bridge Turnpike (County Route 527), then onto County Route 535 into South River, Sayreville and South Amboy, before crossing the Raritan into Perth Amboy and Woodbridge before terminating at the Woodbridge Center Mall. Fares: 1 zone, $1.60; 2 zones, $2.55; 3 zones, $3.15.

The main newspaper serving E.B. is the Home News Tribune, created in 1995 as a result of a merger between the New Brunswick-based Home News and the Woodbridge-based News-Tribune. Sales tax in the State of New Jersey is 7 percent, and it does not rise in the County of Middlesex.

Once On Campus. East Brunswick High School is located on a hill, bounded by Cranbury Road (County Route 535) on the north and west, Summerhill Road (County Route 613) on the east, and houses on the south. The school's Alma Mater even begins with the words, "Standing high upon a hilltop." (It's not that high.)

Prior to 1958, 9th to 12th grade students living in East Brunswick went to South River High School. EBHS opened on September 8, 1958, with grades 6 through 9. Those classes kept going until June 1962, when the 1st class graduated. The original building was designed for 1,300 students. By 1967, it had 1,700, so the 9th graders were sent to the town's junior high schools. It wasn't enough. By 1973, despite 2 additional wings being built, increasing recommended capacity to 1,700, EBHS had 2,600.

By the time I got there in 1984, enrollment had dropped to a little over 2,000, but it was still too crowded. Enrollment dropped to 1,700 by 1997. Then major construction projects began to transform the campus, making much of the outer building unrecognizable to those of us who graduated before. The old wings, or "buildings," were relabeled from numbers to letters: Building 1, the gym area, became Building A; Building 2 became B, 3 became C, and so on, because having a "Building 10" didn't work.

The E.B. Board of Education has always insisted upon "Excellence in Academics, Athletics and the Arts." For Academics and the Arts, it usually works out that way; for Athletics, well, the Bears are usually good in several sports, but in the marquee sports -- football in the Fall, basketball in the Winter, and baseball in the Spring -- there are, occasionally, struggles. The football team, in particular, has not been good for most of the 2010s.

Enrollment is now about 2,200. The name of the school newspaper is The Clarion, and of the yearbook, The Emerald. Notable non-sports alumni include TV writer Jim Vallely (Class of 1972), disc jockey Matt Pinfield (1984), journalist Cenk Uygur (1988), and actors Aaron Yoo (1997), Jesse Eisenberg (2001), and his sister Hallie Eisenberg (2010).

Going In. EBHS played its 1st 4 seasons of varsity football on a field now occupied by the girls' varsity softball field. In 1965, the current stadium went up. It appears not to have had a formal name, and was probably just called "Bears Field." Late in 1972, James F. "Jay" Doyle, the school's 1st football coach (1961-62), wrestling coach (1960-72) and athletic director (1958-72) died of a heart attack, only 41 years old. Before the 1973 football season began, the stadium was renamed Jay Doyle Field in his memory.
Parking is free, and while not many people hold tailgate parties, they are allowed. Fans enter the facility through the north end. As I said, admission is $5.00 for adults, and you can sit anywhere there's space. Be advised, though: The east stand is for visiting fans, the west stand for home fans, the southern end of the west stand is for the Marching Band, and the northern end of the west stand is occupied by the Bear Den, a supporters' group made up of EBHS students. There are 21 rows of seats on the west stand, and the press box is in the middle, so if you don't want to hear a TV (local cable access) or radio (occasionally on WCTC, 1450 AM) broadcast, or assistant coaches signaling their bosses, you might want to sit further down.

The field is aligned north-to-south. Lights were added in 1986, as most high school football facilities in Middlesex County put them up in 1985 and 1986. (Previously, only New Brunswick and the school now known as Old Bridge had lights, necessary at the time due to groundsharing by schools that have since closed. A few, such as neighboring schools South River and Spotswood, still don't have lights.)

The scoreboard was located at the north end until 2005, when a renovation for a new artificial turf field and a new track also put a new scoreboard at the south end. Personally, I preferred the old board, even though it didn't have a message board at the bottom.

The surrounding trees make it look like the field is surrounded by a green stadium, a horseshoe open at the north end. Alas, it's just aluminum bleachers on each sideline, hardly historic-looking, and seating capacity is about 4,300 -- not that we've filled it very often in the last 25 years.

Although it is not the main EBHS facility for these sports, Doyle Field has also hosted soccer and field hockey. It used to hold an annual marching band festival. Graduation used to be held there, but the threat of rain -- my ceremony in 1987 was delayed a day, and then nearly canceled, by rain -- has led us to rent indoor facilities, such as the Garden State Arts Center, the Rutgers Athletic Center, or the Trenton arena.

Food. There's a concession stand behind the north end zone. Don't expect anything fancy. It's pretty much the standard high school football stadium fare: Hot dogs, burgers, popcorn, candy, soda. Sometimes, there's pizza. But you're better off eating before the game.

Team History Displays. The East Brunswick football team began varsity play in 1961, and has won 12 titles in its leagues/divisions: 1965, 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1972, 1984, 1986, 1987, 1990 and 1994. You'll notice they won in only their 5th varsity season, but haven't won it in a generation.

They won Central Jersey Group IV Championships in 1966, 1972, 2004 and 2009. The 32-year gap between 1972 and 2004 was loaded with near-misses, including some bizarre circumstances. It was almost a Red Sox, Cubs, Cleveland Indians, Philadelphia Eagles, Buffalo Bills kind of situation. It was, "We know we're not going to win it, the only question is, Are we going to blow it, or are we going to get screwed?"

There is no mention of these titles anywhere in the fan-viewable area. If you can get inside the gym area (and you almost certainly won't, unless you wait for the Winter sports season and go to a basketball game or a wrestling meet), you'll see several trophy cases, including the football trophies.

The scoreboard shows 2 retired numbers of athletes who played on that field. The only EBHS football player to make the NFL is Josh Miller, a placekicker and punter who spent most of his career with the Pittsburgh Steelers, and now hosts a radio talk show in Pittsburgh. He won a ring with the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XXXIX in 2005.

A representation of his Number 6 is on the board. So is a representation of the Number 9 of the only EBHS athlete to win an Olympic Gold Medal, soccer player Heather O'Reilly, who was also on the U.S. team that won the 2015 Women's World Cup.

Not shown on that board, although he did play on that field as a quarterback, is the Number 12 of Dave Wohl, retired due to his basketball playing. Our 1st great basketball player, he quarterbacked us to the 1966 State Championship, then was an All-Ivy League basketball player at the University of Pennsylvania, then played for the Philadelphia 76ers, the Nets when they moved from Long Island to New Jersey, and 3 other NBA teams.

He won 2 rings as an assistant to Pat Riley on the Los Angeles Lakers, coached the Nets for 3 seasons, arranged a doubleheader at the Meadowlands for EB and Perth Amboy (we won) followed by Nets vs. Lakers (the Lakers won), and is now the general manager of the Los Angeles Clippers.

In addition, at the entrance to the field, there is a small brick monument with a plaque in Jay Doyle's memory on the front. The players touch it before going onto the field.

Stuff. Souvenirs in the Green & White colors are available at the concession stand, and from members of the Booster Club at the entrance, including game programs, costing $5.00. There are no books or team videos available.

During the Game. Safety will not be an issue. There is enough security, including East Brunswick police officers, on hand to prevent fights. In 32 years of going to EBHS football games, I have only seen 1 situation that got out of control. I was hit in the head -- by a thrown egg. It didn't hurt, but have you ever had raw egg drip into your ear? I have. I don't recommend it: It's disgusting.

Friday night kickoffs are always at 7:00 PM. On the rare occasion when, as in the early days of 1961 to 1985, games were played on Saturday afternoons, kickoff would be 1:00 PM. The games were moved to Friday night so that people could either go to the Rutgers games or watch their favorite college team on television, whereas on a Friday night, there would be no distraction, and crowds would be larger.

This was an incredibly stupid move that totally backfired: By 7:00 on a Friday night, lots of people hadn't yet gotten home from work, or had but didn't have time to get ready for a football game, or were too tired from a long work week to go to a mere high school football game. The result is that East Brunswick football games, which used to have close to a full house, over 4,000, every time, have been lucky to get half that. It is no coincidence that the school's fortunes dwindled in the 1990s and in the 21st Century.

Besides, didn't EBHS Administration know about portable radios, with which they could listen to the Rutgers (or Penn State, or Notre Dame, or some other school's) game? To say nothing of, in the last few years, checking the score of the college game on your mobile phone's Internet connection?

Before the game, the visiting school's marching band performs, then EB's. Sometimes, the EB band will play the National Anthem. Other times, students will go up to the press box and sing the Anthem over the public-address system.

The original version of the Bear mascot, with light brown fur and a teddy bear-like face, was retired in the 2000s, replaced with a fiercer-looking one with darker fur, an open mouth, and fangs. He now has an official name as well: Bruiser the Bear. He rides to away games on the same bus as the cheerleaders, who can be every bit as athletic as the football players. Sometimes, more so. (That was less a compliment to the cheerleaders than it is a sad observation on the players.)
Lots of schools' cheerleaders spell out the team's name, as ours do: "Gimme a B! Gimme an E! Gimme an A! Gimme an R! Gimme an S! What's that spell? BEARS!" One I haven't heard at very many other schools is, "We're dynamite, we're dynamite, we're tick, tick, tick, tick, BOOM, dynamite!" Shouting the school colors sometimes works, provided they can be easily rhymed, as ours can: "Go, green, green! Go, white, white! Go, green! White! All together, let's fight!"

Our public address announcer swiped from Rutgers, "And that is another East Brunswick... first down!" When we score, the fight song "E.B. Forever" is played. Regrettably, after 32 years of going to their games, I still don't know the words. After the game, win or lose, "E.B. Forever is played again, and then the Alma Mater:

Standing high upon a hilltop
is our Alma Mater bright:
East Brunswick High, we proudly honor
with the colors green and white.
Sing her glories and her praises
let them ring forever true.
Our own beloved Alma Mater:
East Brunswick High, all hail to you!

After the Game. Getting out of the stadium should be no problem, in terms of either time or safety. Getting out of the parking lot may take some time.

For a postgame meal, the closest places that I can recommend that are likely to still be open when the game ends at around 9:00 PM will be Smashburger, at 591 Route 18, closing at 10; Carrabba's Italian Grill, at 335 Route 18, also closing at 10; and the Colonial Diner, at 560 Route 18, open until 11, and owned by my EBHS Class of 1987 classmate, former track star Constantine Katsifis.

Magnifico's Ice Cream, at 500 Route 18, is open until 10, and is often voted the Best Ice Cream in Central Jersey, but I don't know if it will be open all season long. It may close for the Winter before the football season ends. The Crestwood Bar, a 5-minute drive from the school at 260 Old Bridge Turnpike, has long been a supporter of both EBHS and South River High School sports, however it is on the South River side of the road.

Sidelights. One of the great things about being in East Brunswick is that you're less than an hour from New York and less than 2 hours from Philadelphia, making each city's attractions easy to reach. This includes the sports teams, who play their home games the following number of miles from EBHS:

8 miles to Rutgers Stadium, also 8 miles to the Rutgers Athletic Center
19 miles to Princeton's Powers Field and Jadwin Gym
29 miles to the Prudential Center, home of the New Jersey Devils
31 miles to Red Bull Arena, home of the New York Red Bulls
35 miles to MetLife Stadium, home of the New York Giants and Jets
39 miles to Madison Square Garden, home of the New York Knicks, Rangers and Liberty
40 miles to the Barclays Center, home of the Brooklyn Nets and New York Islanders
47 miles to Yankee Stadium, home of the New York Yankees and New York City FC
57 miles to Citi Field, home of the New York Mets
69 miles to the Philadelphia Sports Complex
85 miles to Talen Energy Stadium, home of the Philadelphia Union

There is an East Brunswick Museum, set in the Old Bridge Historic District, in a former church at 16 Maple Street. Movies and TV shows don't come to E.B. to film. A scene from The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension was supposedly set here, but was filmed in Southern California.

*

Going to an East Brunswick High School football game brings me back to a time that was by no means simpler or more innocent, but it does allow me to remember a time when my concerns were considerably smaller. And it allows me to watch boys playing football solely for the love of the game, not because it will mean money for them.

We are E.B.! Go Big Green! Bob Molarz' Green-White Army! (We hate Old Bridge!)

September 8, 1966, 50 years ago today: The TV series Star Trek first airs on NBC, with the episode "The Man Trap" -- a.k.a. "The Space Vampire."

Here's the affiliates you could have watched it on, if you were in what would now be considered a "major league" city (note that not all of these are still NBC affiliates, or operating under the same call letters):

* Channel 2: WGRZ, Buffalo; WSB, Atlanta; KPRC, Houston; KUTV, Salt Lake City

* Channel 3: KYW, Philadelphia; WKYC, Cleveland; KSNV, Las Vegas; KCRA, Sacramento

* Channel 4: WNBC, New York; WRC, Washington; WBZ, Boston; WDIV, Detroit; WTMJ, Milwaukee; WSMV, Nashville; WDAF, Kansas City, KFOR, Oklahoma City; WOAI, San Antonio; KCNC, Denver; KNBC, Los Angeles; KRON, San Francisco

* Channel 5: WLTW, Cincinnati; WMC, Memphis; WMAQ, Chicago; KSDK, St. Louis; KXAS, Dallas; KING, Seattle

* Channel 6: WFBM, Indianapolis; WDSU, New Orleans

* Channel 7: WSVN, Miami

* Channel 8: WFLA, Tampa; KGW, Portland, Oregon

* Channel 9: WSOC, Charlotte

* Channel 10: KGTV, San Diego

* Channel 11: WBAL, Baltimore; WIIC, Pittsburgh, WTVD, Raleigh

* Channel 12: WTLV, Jacksonville; KPNX, Phoenix

The series depicted the USS Enterprise, a Starfleet starship with a crew of 430, representing the United Federation of Planets, a galactic version of the United Nations, headquartered on Earth, at some unspecified point in the future.
Since they didn't want to be locked into an exact time, they obscured this with the clever use of "Stardates." Despite at least 2 episodes suggesting that the series took place around 200 years later, later series would place it 300 years in the future -- i.e., the 1st episode took place in the year 2266.

The ship's mission -- partly invoking the late President John F. Kennedy's "New Frontier" -- was written by series creator Gene Roddenberry (1921-1991), a former combat pilot in World War II and Los Angeles police officer, who pitched it to the network as "Wagon Train to the stars," in essence a Western in space. But with his ship's Captain, he was inspired by C.S. Forester's novels about Captain Horatio Hornblower, and he liked to call his adventures "Hornblower in space." Here is the mission, written by Roddenberry, and recited near the start of each episode by William Shatner:

Space: The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: To explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldy go where no man has gone before!

When Star Trek: The Next Generation premiered in 1987, Patrick Stewart, playing the Captain of the 24th Century edition of the Enterprise, Jean-Luc Picard, adjusted it to say, "Its continuing mission" and the gender-non-specific "where no one has gone before!" Since Stewart is British, and Shatner is Canadian and thus has the British influence on language, they pronounced "civilizations" as "Siv-il-igh-zay-shuns," instead of "Siv-il-iz-ay-shuns," as Boston-born Leonard Nimoy, as Spock, said it in the movies.

The main cast:

* William Shatner (born 1931 and still alive at this writing), as Captain James Tiberius Kirk, Commanding Officer. (The 2nd pilot, "Where No Man Has Gone Before," shows his middle initial as R., but this was changed.) At the time, Kirk was said to be the youngest starship captain in Starfleet history, but a list of his commendations in the episode "Court-Martial" shows his heroism to already be long-established. His idealism and his devotion to duty occasionally come into conflict, but he always ends up doing the right thing.

He needs both Spock for his logic and McCoy for his humanity. His devotion to his crew leads to some unorthodox thinking, which always works. And women of all kinds, human and otherwise, find him irresistible -- and vice versa. (Despite Eddie Murphy's comedy routine, he did not actually go beyond kissing a green woman. At least, not onscreen.)

* Leonard Nimoy (1931-2015), as Commander Spock, First Officer and Science Officer. (He had a first name, but he said the human mouth "couldn't pronounce it.") A native of the planet Vulcan, the son of the planet's Ambassador to the Federation and his human wife, he (as we would say today) self-identified as Vulcan, and worked toward their philosophy of seeking logic and repressing emotion, but struggled with his human half: "I survive it, because my intellect wins out over both." In spite of his detachment from emotion, he and Kirk confirmed to an outsider that they viewed each other as "brothers."

* DeForest Kelley (1920-1999), as Lieutenant Commander Leonard H. McCoy (it is never said what the H. stands for), Chief Medical Officer. From Georgia (the American State, not the former Soviet "republic"), his devotion to science is every bit as strong as Spock's, but his emotional outlook is a counterweight to Spock's logic. While they admire each other, they often argue.

Kirk calls him "Bones," short for "Sawbones," an old term for a doctor. The censors of the 1960s would never have let him say, "Damn it, man," or, "Damn it, Jim," as later portrayals of the character have,but, on 7 separate occasions during the series, he does say, or say a variation on, "I'm a doctor, not a (fill in the blank)!"
* James Doohan (1920-2005), as Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Edward Scott, Chief Engineer. From Aberdeen, Scotland, "Scotty" thinks of the Enterprise as his baby, and will do anything to protect it and its reputation. Fortunately, he might be the smartest human on board, and, as both engineer and as acting commanding officer when Kirk and Spock are down on a planet, he got the ship out of some serious jams.

The stereotypical Scotty line is, "I'm givin' it all she's got," but I don't think he ever said that during any of the show's 79 episodes. And the stereotypical line spoken to him, by Kirk, is, "Beam me up, Scotty," but that was never said, either. Usually, it was, "Energize," or, "(Number of personnel) to beam up."

* Nichelle Nichols (born 1932 and still alive), as Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, Chief of Communications. (Her first name was never mentioned on the show. Despite lots of speculation, it was never confirmed until the 2009 reboot.) Although her specific place of origin has never been mentioned, she said that Swahili was her native language, thus suggesting she was born and raised in Kenya, Tanzania or Uganda in East Africa.

While a horribly underused character, and unfairly relegated to the role of the ship's "telephone operator" (a stereotypical job for women up until the 1970s), the fact that she was both a woman and a black person among the ship's senior officers, and didn't take any crap from anyone, was revolutionary for the 1960s. Indeed, in the episode "The Gamesters of Triskelion," she successfully fought off a rape attempt by a much larger man.

As Nichols had a professional music background, she was allowed to sing in 3 episodes. Despite having to wear a skimpy outfit in the episode "Mirror, Mirror" -- almost certainly, the most black female skin exposed on U.S. TV to that point -- that episode also showed Kirk's confidence in her, his respect for her, and her ability to make that confidence and respect pay off. The episode "Plato's Stepchildren" showed her having to kiss Kirk, usually cited as the 1st interracial kiss on U.S. TV. (Some Southern stations refused to show that episode.)

She wanted to quit after the 1st season to go back to music, but no less than Martin Luther King told her she needed to stay on, as an example. Both comedian Whoopi Goldberg (who went on to play Guinan on Star Trek: The Next Generation) and Dr. Mae Jemison (America's 1st black woman in space, who played a transporter operator on ST:TNG, making her the 1st real-life astronaut to appear on a Star Trek series), have cited her as a tremendous influence.

* George Takei (born 1937 and still alive), as Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu, Chief Helmsman (His first name was never revealed until the film Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.) Like Star Wars creator George Lucas, Roddenberry was long fascinated by Asian culture, and wanted an Asian character among the bridge crew. Sulu was assigned to the ship's "astroscience" department in the 2nd pilot, but was moved to the helm for the main series.

Like Uhura, the other nonwhite character in the main cast, Sulu was grossly underused. So much so that, based on the original series alone, we probably know less about him than anyone else on the show. (Indeed, it wasn't until Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home that we found out that he was from San Francisco, rather than Japan as was long presumed.)

At least he wasn't a stereotype: Although the episode "Shore Leave" showed him facing a simulation of a samurai warrior, it also showed his interests in more modern firearms and botany. And "The Naked Time" showed he preferred a fencing foil to a samurai sword.

* Walter Koenig (born 1936 and still alive), as Ensign Pavel Andreievich Chekov, a young navigator introduced at the start of the 2nd season, because Roddenberry wanted to include a Russian character. To appeal to teenage viewers, he was given a hairstyle similar to Davy Jones of The Monkees. As Koenig said, "When people thought I was 22, Russian and single, I got more fan mail than anybody but Spock. When they found out I was 30, American and married, it dried up."

Brilliant but raw, his immaturity occasionally undermined his great capability. He was proud of his heritage, but mistakenly believed that many historical advancements and cultural icons were "invented in Russia."

* Majel Barrett (1932-2008), as Ensign Christine Chapel, McCoy's nurse. She later completed her studies, and was a full-fledged doctor in the movies. She has a hopeless crush on Spock.

Barrett was Roddenberry's girlfriend at the time, later his wife. She had played the First Officer, named only "Number One," in the show's 1st pilot, "The Cage," but the network balked at having a female officer ranked so high. She also voiced the computers on every Star Trek TV show and movie until the 2009 reboot, and played Ambassador Lxwana Troi, Denna's mother, on ST:TNG.
Shatner had appeared in 2 episodes of The Twilight Zone, an earlier series that dealt in fantasy: "Nick of Time" in 1960 and "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" in 1963. Nimoy had 1 line on the 1961 episode "A Quality of Mercy." Doohan was in the 1963 episode "Valley of the Shadow." Takei starred in the 1964 episode "The Encounter." But none of these episodes dealt with space travel.

In 1964, Shatner and Nimoy actually appeared onscreen together very briefly in "The Project Strigas Affair," an episode of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. Nimoy, Kelley and Doohan had appeared on the Western series Bonanza, where they caught the attention of Gene L. Coon, who wrote for that series, and wrote and produced for Star Trek -- he and Roddenberry often being called "The Two Genes."

Nimoy, Nichols, Koenig and Barrett had appeared on an earlier military-themed TV series created and written by Roddenberry, The Lieutenant, which starred Gary Lockwood, who was cast as the ill-fated First Officer, Lieutenant Gary Mitchell, in the 2nd Star Trek pilot, "Where No Man Has Gone Before." Lockwood's character, U.S. Marine Lieutenant William Rice, had the same middle name as Kirk: "Tiberius."

*

Today, it's easy to call Star Trek, especially the original series created by Roddenberry that ran from September 8, 1966 to June 6, 1969, a legend. Today, it's very difficult to see why such a groundbreaking, often wonderful (though also often campy and occasionally even ridiculous) show was nearly canceled after just 2 seasons, and was finally canceled after 3 seasons. Easy to see why it was brought back in movies and had later series based on it, yes; easy to see why NBC gave up on it originally, no.

Surely, there must be good reason why the Peacock Network dropped this ball...

Top 5 Reasons You Can't Blame NBC for Canceling the Original Star Trek Series

5. The Sale of Desilu Productions. Lucille Ball and her then-husband and then-costar Desi Arnaz founded this company in 1950, combining their names. It was very rare then -- and even in the Sixties -- for a woman or a non-Anglo to be in charge of a Hollywood production company, but Desilu had both. In 1962, after their divorce, Lucy bought out Desi's shares in the company.
Lucy loved Star Trek. After the first pilot, "The Cage," didn't get picked up in 1965, she stood up for it, and used her influence at NBC to tell the suits to give it another chance.

They did, and a second pilot was commissioned. With an entirely new cast except for Leonard Nimoy as Spock -- although, as I said, Majel Barrett would be cast in a new role -- "Where No Man Has Gone Before" was written and filmed. Jeffrey Hunter, who played Captain Christopher Pike in "The Cage," was not available, so William Shatner was cast as a new Captain, James T. Kirk. NBC liked the new version, and set it up for the 1966-67 season.

In February 1967, Lucy sold Desilu to Gulf & Western, which had just bought Paramount Pictures. G&W turned Desilu into Paramount Television. Paramount, on screens both small and large, has run Star Trek ever since.

Without its biggest backer, Lucy, on hand to speak up for it, Star Trek lacked the star power it needed. It would be as if, today, Jerry Seinfeld, a star of the era of TV before the current era, were now running a TV studio, and had backed a groundbreaking new show, but split with his wife, and sold off his shares in order to pay her a settlement, and it died without him to watch over it.

4. 2001: A Space Odyssey. It changed the rules for special effects in science fiction. Before Stanley Kubrick's film 2001, Star Trek was considered a big leap forward over the sci-fi films of the 1950s, and also over the biggest sci-fi TV series before it, Captain Video and His Video Rangers (1949-55) and Lost In Space (1965-68).
Once people saw 2001, with all its flaws -- including its long, wordless, classical-music-backed montages that made the film at least 15 minutes longer than it needed to be (and ended up inadvertently inspiring Star Trek: The Motion Picture a decade later) -- people saw Star Trek's red skies, papier-mâché boulders and rubber-masked aliens, and realized, "Hey, they could have done a lot better."
Of course, they couldn't -- because, in the days before computer-generated imagery (CGI), science fiction cost a hell of a lot of money to produce. This was also a reason that neither the original Battlestar Galatica or the 1970s version of Buck Rogers (which was so campy it made the 1960s Batman series look like The Dark Knight) only lasted 2 seasons each. If Star Trek could have been made even more cheaply, NBC would have done it.
In fact, they did, in the 3rd season, 1968-69. Which certainly didn't help things for...

3. Fred Freiberger. He had produced Ben Casey and The Wild Wild West with few problems. But when Roddenberry quit as, as we would say today, showrunner after the 2nd season, 1967-68, NBC hired Freiberger, and dealt him a rotten hand -- which he completely misplayed.

He proved himself a well-meaning incompetent, particularly where science fiction was concerned. The 3rd season of Star Trek included few good episodes, and some laughable ones. The season premiere was "Spock's Brain." It was the only original series episode to have a character's name in the title, and when people talk about how ridiculous Star Trek was, this is the 1st episode they mention.

It actually got worse: "The Paradise Syndrome" ("Behold: A god who bleeds!"), "And the Children Shall Lead" (a ghostly Melvin Belli leads super-powered children to take over the ship), "Wink of an Eye" (a society moving at superspeed needs fertile men), "The Mark of Gideon" (a story about overpopulation that could have been a great one, but was totally blown), "The Lights of Zetar" (another interesting idea that bombed), "Requiem for Methuselah" (the crew encounter Methuselah, King Solomon, Alexander the Great, Lazarus, Merlin, Johannes Gutenberg, Leonardo da Vinci and Johannes Brahms, and they're all the same guy), "The Way to Eden" (space hippies, Chekov's girlfriend, "Herbert!"), "The Cloud Minders" (a story about the class gap between rich and poor, another good idea made ridiculous), "The Savage Curtain" (meeting Abraham Lincoln, Genghis Khan, and the founders of Vulcan and Klingon civilization, and, no, they're not all the same guy, and this was a great idea that was absolutely butchered), and, the last episode to air, "Turnabout Intruder" (a story rendered stupid by the rise of feminism in the next few years, and by later Trek shows and films that showed female starship captains).

In 1972, Freiberger became the producer of the cartoon Josie and the Pussycats -- already a dumb idea, since it was a teenage rock band that solved mysteries, essentially a combination of The Monkees and Scooby-Doo. He made it Josie and the Pussycats in Outer Space. No, I'm not making that up. He made it up.

In 1975, he was handed the reins of Space: 1999, to make the British series (albeit with American stars Martin Landau and Barbara Bain) more accessible to Americans. He changed the cast, and, as was the problem on Star Trek, it became less about the story and more about the action. That 2nd season was the last.

He was handed the reins of The Six Million Dollar Man for its 5th season, 1977-78. Let's just say that, unlike Colonel Steve Austin when he got his bionic body parts, it was not better than it was before. It was canceled. He had the Reverse Midas Touch: Everything he touched turned to crap.

In her memoir, Nichelle Nichols tried to absolve Freiberger for the demise of the show:

I know that some fans hold him responsible for the show's decline, but that is not fair. Star Trek was in a disintegrating orbit before Fred came aboard. That we were able to do even what we did is a miracle and a credit to him. 

William Shatner has also gone out of his way to say Freiberger shouldn't be blamed. Martin Landau wasn't nearly so forgiving of what he did with Space: 1999, telling him:

I'm not going out on a limb for this show, because I'm not in accord with what you're doing as a result... I don't think I even want to do the promos. I don't want to push the show any more as I have in the past. It's not my idea of what the show should be.

Contrary to what I had previously thought, Freiberger had nothing to do with Mission: Impossible, which was also a Desilu/Paramount production, and premiered on CBS just 9 days after Star Trek, running until 1973. Like Space: 1999 later would, it featured Landau and his then-wife Barbara Bain. After Star Trek was canceled, Nimoy was hired, as "The Great Paris" (real name never revealed), a magician and master of disguise like Landau's character Rollin Hand.

2. Political Correctness -- 1960s Style. Since the term first gained wide usage in the early 1990s, "political correctness" has come to mean "liberalism." But the backlash that came at it during the Space Age was much more effective than what conservatives have been able to do it in the Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama years.

After 15 or so years of the Civil Rights Movement, 8 years of the New Frontier of JFK and the Great Society of Lyndon Johnson, 4 years of inner-city race riots, 3 years of protests against the U.S. military effort in Vietnam, and the previous year's "Summer of Love" with its hippies and its so-called free love and its drugs, tempered by the worst of the riots, by late 1968, people were tired of being preached to about peace and harmony and brotherhood.

With Robert Kennedy dead, Gene McCarthy's supporters demoralized, and people who would normally have supported Hubert Humphrey not convinced he was going to end the war, millions of Democrats either stayed home, or voted for Richard Nixon because he promised to end the war. Many others left the Democrats over race, and voted for Nixon or George Wallace because of their pledges to "restore law and order."

The 1968 election can be viewed as close, as Nixon won by only 520,000 popular votes, 43.4 percent to Humphrey's 42.7 percent. But that was good for 301 Electoral Votes to HHH's 191, and Wallace's 46. Throw in the people who voted for Wallace, and, of the people who actually showed up to vote, just under 58 percent of the popular vote, and 347 Electoral Votes, went to candidates who voted to crack down on blacks and student demonstrators, and thought the way to end the Vietnam War was to win it, and thought the way to win it was to escalate it.
The general public was no longer interested in hearing Jim Kirk talk about man reaching for the stars and peaceful coexistence, or Spock talking about logic. They were more likely to listen to Scotty say one of the few lines of the main cast that could be considered conservative: "The best diplomat I know is a fully charged phaser bank!"

The cancellation of Star Trek was unfortunate. But it was not a tragedy. An actual tragedy is Reason Number 1 why you can't blame NBC for canceling it:

1. The Apollo 1 Fire. In the Star Trek episode "Tomorrow Is Yesterday" -- 1 of 10 episodes written by Dorothy Fontana, who had to use her initials, "D.C. Fontana," because studios either didn't want women writing TV shows, or didn't want it known that they were writing them -- the Enterprise is accidentally hurled back in time.

Uhura intercepts a TV broadcast saying that the first manned mission to the Moon will be launched on the following Wednesday. (It was, indeed, launched on a Wednesday: July 16, 1969. Granted, Fontana had a 1-in-7 chance, 14.3 percent, of getting that right, and those aren't especially long odds, but she did guess right!) Kirk heard this, and said, "But that was in the late 1960s!" Spock answered, "Evidently, so are we."

Fontana couldn't possibly have known in late 1966 exactly when the 1st successful mission would be launched. She only knew of what JFK said in his address to Congress on May 25, 1961: "I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the Moon, and returning him safely to Earth." So she wrote, "in the late 1960s."
"Tomorrow Is Yesterday" was broadcast on January 26, 1967. The very next day, astronauts Virgil I. "Gus" Grissom (one of the original "Mercury 7," whose name would be used for a ship in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock), Edward H. White II (the 1st American to make a spacewalk), and Roger B. Chaffee (a Navy pilot and engineer who was preparing for his 1st spaceflight) were undergoing a rehearsal for the launch of Apollo 1, meant to launch on February 21. An electrical fire spread through the capsule, killing them. (Grissom was 40 years old, White 36, Chaffee 31.)

The tragedy set the U.S. space program back. The 1st manned Apollo flight, Apollo 7, wouldn't get off the ground until October 11, 1968 -- almost 2 years later, and putting JFK's end-of-decade (December 31, 1969) goal in serious jeopardy.

The last episode of Star Trek to get a first-run airing, "Turnabout Intruder," got it on June 6, 1969. Everyone figured that was the end. On July 20, 1969, just 44 days later, during Apollo 11, Neil Armstrong walked on the Moon. As Roddenberry put it, "Suddenly, people going into space and exploring strange new worlds didn't seem so far-fetched anymore."

Star Trek caught on in syndication, airing on what were then "independent" TV stations, like New York's WPIX-Channel 11. NBC didn't want the show anymore, so it was cheap for these stations to air. Low risk, and any reward was nice. The reward turned out to be huge: As with 1950s shows The Honeymooners and The Adventures of Superman, the late 1960s Batman series, and, later, the original, early 1970s version of The Odd Couple, Star Trek brought those stations higher ratings than did the old movies they were airing. Star Trek got a new life, making possible not only its movies and its later series, but Star Wars and the other sci-fi film epics of the late 1970s and afterward.

But had the Apollo 1 fire not happened, the 1st Moonwalk might have happened months or even a year earlier, during Star Trek's 3rd season. It might have made people hungrier for a show about the exploration of space, boosted the ratings, and saved the show.

We'll never know what kind of episodes we would have seen had "its five-year mission" been completed. The show's legacy clearly didn't need it. But, as fan series such as Star Trek: New Voyages and Star Trek Continues have shown, it would have been nice to find out. And so, we can speculate.

Kirk: "Is that the logical thing to do?"

Spock: "No. But it is the human thing to do."

And what we do have has served us well.

When Brian Cashman traded Aroldis Chapman, Andrew Miller, Carlos Beltran and Ivan Nova for the failed Adam Warren and 247 "prospects" who might never make it, I figured the season was over.

I'm the guy who sees that it's still mathematically possible for the Yankees to make the Playoffs, and thinks that the World Series can still be won. I'm the guy who, no matter how bad it might look, will quote the late, great Yogi Berra: "It ain't over 'til it's over." But I figured it was over.

Silly Uncle Mike. O, me of little faith. The Yankees just swept those pesky Toronto Blue Jays, and they're back in the race.

*

Monday was Labor Day, so the game was a matinee at Yankee Stadium II. The Jays came in as the 1st place team in the American League Eastern Division, and their fans were talking smack on social media. They've made the Playoffs once in 23 years, and their fans are acting like they're the ones with the 27 World Championships.

R.A. Dickey, once a Cy Young Award winner with the Mets, only pitched 4 innings for the Jays, because the Yankees did this interesting thing that they frequently did not do enough of earlier in the season: They drove in runs. The Jays led 1-0 in the 1st, but Jacoby Ellsbury made it 2-1 Yanks with a home run, only his 7th of the season. He also singled in a run in the 3rd, and Tyler Austin drove in 2 runs with a single in the 4th.

Masahiro Tanaka started for the Yankees, and pitched into the 7th inning. A 7th inning in which Joe Girardi used 4 pitchers: Tanaka, Jonathan Holder, Ben Heller and Tommy Layne. Between them, they held the Jays to 2 runs. Tyler Clippard pitched a perfect 8th, and Dellin Betances a perfect 9th.

Yankees 5, Blue Jays 3. WP: Tanaka (12-4). SV: Betances (9). LP: Dickey (9-14... Pitching in the American League is hard!)

Attendance: 42,141. Understandable, you say? Because the Yankees are close, it was a holiday, and the weather was good? Not really: The Yankees hadn't been close most of the season, and a storm had been hanging off the coast for a few days. So this was actually a very good attendance figure.

*

The Tuesday night game was the Yankee season, thus far, in a nutshell. Emphasis on the nut.

Luis Cessa started, and pitched decently, but was trailing 2-1 when he left in the 6th, his run coming on the 17th homer of the season by Brian McCann. Tyler Austin gave the Yankees a 3-2 lead with his 2nd homer in the 7th. But Warren and Layne both allowed runs in the top of the 8th, and it was 4-3 Jays.

Cliche alert: Those walks'll kill you, especially leadoff walks. Ellsbury drew a walk to lead off the bottom of the 8th. Didi Gregorius nearly hit one out, driving Ellsbury in with a game-tying triple. Starlin Castro brought Didi home with a sacrifice fly. McCann walked, and then Chase Headley hit one out, making it 7-4 Yanks. This made Chasen Shreve, who closed out the 8th inning, the pitcher of record.

That was the 13th homer of the season for the much-maligned Headley. It might turn out to be the most important home run of the season.

No longer having Chapman or Miller, Girardi brought Betances in to pitch the 9th. This was the 3rd night in a row that Betances had pitched, and he had nothing. Again, "Those walks'll kill you, especially leadoff walks." He walked Jose Bautista. Then he walked Josh Donaldson. Then he threw a wild pitch. Then Edwin Encarnacion beat out an infield hit, and it was 7-5.

Betances struck out former Yankee catcher Russell Martin, but he walked another former Yankee catcher, Dioner Navarro. (Both he and Encarnacion were removed for pinch-runners.) Melvin Upton Jr. beat out an infield hit, and that scored Donaldson.

Now it was 7-6 Jays, the bases were loaded, and there was only 1 out. #YankeesTwitter, myself included, was going berserk. We were cursing Betances (perhaps unfairly), Girardi (very fairly), and Cashman (especially fairly, since he'd decimated the bullpen for these alleged prospects that we didn't need with Scranton and Trenton doing so well).

Girardi had seen enough: He took Betances out, and brought in Blake Parker. He struck out Kevin Pillar, and then Justin Smoak hit a sinking liner to left that looked like it might make the score 8-7 Toronto. But Brett Gardner made a "Holy cow!" catch, and... exhale.

Yankees 7, Blue Jays 6. WP: Shreve (2-1). SV: Parker (1). LP: Jason Grilli (4-3). Attendance: 27,532, and given that it was a Tuesday night game, between the 1st place Jays and the struggling Yanks, a figure that low, held down by low walk-up sales, is understandable.

*

Last night's game had all the hallmarks of a Yankee loss. The opposition was both good and angry. Our starting pitcher, Bryan Mitchell, was a lightly-regarded prospect. Our closer, Betances, was unavailable due to overwork. And the Jays' starter, Marcus Stroman, has a good record against us. And, when it was over, the Yankees had converted 9 hits and 2 walks into only 2 runs -- coming on a Castro home run (his 20th) and a McCann single, both in the 3rd.

But Mitchell went 5 innings, allowing 4 hits, 2 walks... and no runs. Luis Severino came in, and pitched 3 innings, allowing just 1 hit and 1 walk... and no runs. Clippard pitched a perfect 9th.

Yankees 2, Blue Jays 0. WP: Mitchell (1-0). SV: Clippard (1). LP: Stroman (9-7). Attendance: 30,501. Maybe the fans are getting the message.

The Blue Jays sure got the message: The Yankees swept them, and knocked them (for the moment) out of 1st place.

*

When this series began, the Yankees were 6 1/2 games out of 1st place in the AL East, and 4 1/2 games out of the 2nd Wild Card slot. It looked bad.

Now? The Boston Red Sox are in 1st place, 1 game ahead of the Jays, 2 games ahead of the Baltimore Orioles, and just 4 1/2 ahead of the Yankees, 4 in the loss column. In the Wild Card race, the Yankees trail the O's by 2 1/2, 2 in the loss column.

There are 24 games left. Anything can happen. Including Title 28.

Tonight, the Yankees begin a 4-game home series with the Tampa Bay Rays, in last place in the AL East. With the Sox and Jays playing each other in Toronto this weekend, and the O's away to the Playoff-contending Detroit Tigers, this is a good chance to gain some more ground.

Here are the projected starting pitchers:

* Tonight, 7:05 PM: CC Sabathia vs. Alex Cobb.

* Tomorrow, 7:05 PM: Michael Pineda vs. Blake Snell.

* Saturday, 4:05 PM: Tanaka vs. Chris Archer.

* Sunday, 1:05 PM: Cessa vs. Matt Andariese.

Come on you Pinstripes!

The surging Yankees began a 4-game home series with the struggling Tampa Bay Rays last night. CC Sabathia started, and was a little shaky, allowing single runs in each of the 1st 3 innings. Joe Girardi panicked, and took him out in the 5th, and brought in Jonathan Holder, who got us through the 6th.

Didi Gregorious singled home a run in the 1st inning, and Brian McCann hit home runs in he 2nd and the 4th, giving him 19 on the season.

The game went to the bottom of the 9th tied 4-4. Tyler Austin came to the plate with 2 outs, against Erasmo Ramirez. (Not to be confused with former Yankee Edwar Ramirez.) Boom! Home run to right-center field. Ballgame over! Yankees win! Theeee Yankees win!

Yankees 5, Rays 4. WP: Tommy Layne (2-1). No save. LP: Ramirez (7-11).

With 23 games to go, the Yankees are 4 games out of the American League Eastern Division lead, and 2 out of the 2nd AL Wild Card.

The Yankees were given up for dead. How do they look now? The races are tightening.

The series continues tonight, as Michael Pineda starts against Blake Snell. Come on you Bombers!

*

Time until East Brunswick High School plays football again: Right now, away to Sayreville, a.k.a. Sewerville. Hell of a place to begin the season, even if the opposition wasn't good -- and, since 1990, they usually have been.

Hours until The Arsenal play again: 15, tomorrow morning, at 10:00 AM U.S. Eastern Time, home to Hampshire club Southampton.

Hours until Rutgers University plays football again: 17, tomorrow at 12:00 noon, home to Howard University of Washington, D.C. RU got crushed by the University of Washington in their season opener, 48-13. Hopefully, a Football Playoff Subdivision (formerly "Division I-AA") team at home will be easier going.

Days until the New York Red Bulls play again: 2, Sunday afternoon at 1:00, home to their most hated opponent, D.C. United. (I've tried to tell Red Bull fans: A New York Tri-State Area's arch-rival is always either New England, or Philadelphia, or another Tri-State Area team -- not Washington, D.C. But they don't listen to me.)

Days until the Red Bulls next play a "derby": The same 2. The next game against the Philadelphia Union is on Saturday night, October 1, at Red Bull Arena. There are no further games this regular season against New York City FC, although Metro could face them in the MLS Cup Playoffs.

Days until the next Yankees-Red Sox series: 6, next Thursday night, at 7:00 PM, at Fenway Park. It could be pivotal in the AL East race, more so in the AL Wild Card race.
Days until the New Jersey Devils play another regular season game: 34, on Thursday night, October 13, away to the Florida Panthers in the Miami suburb of Sunrise. Under 5 weeks. The home opener is 5 days later, on Tuesday night, October 18, against the Anaheim Ducks.

Days until the 2016 Presidential election: 60, on Tuesday, November 8. That's exactly 2 months. Make sure you are registered to vote, and then make sure you vote!

Days until the U.S. national soccer team plays again: 63, on November 11, home to arch-rival Mexico at Mapfre Stadium in Columbus, Ohio, in a CONCACAF Qualifying Match for the 2018 World Cup. That's 9 weeks. Regardless of whether Mexican-hater Donald Trump defeats Hillary Clinton in the election, there could be trouble from Trump's supporters. This match will be followed 4 days later by another Qualifier, away to Costa Rica.

Days until the next East Brunswick-Old Bridge Thanksgiving game: 76, on Thursday morning, November 24, at the purple shit pit on Route 9. Under 11 weeks.

Days until the New Jersey Devils play another local rival: 93. Their 1st game this season with the New York Rangers will be on Sunday night, December 11, at Madison Square Garden. Their 1st game this season with the Philadelphia Flyers will be on Thursday night, December 22, at the Prudential Center. By a quirk in the schedule, the New York Islanders, a team they usually play several times a season, don't show up on the slate until Saturday night, February 18, 2017, at the Prudential Center.

Days until The Contract From Hell runs out, and the Yankees no longer have to pay Alex Rodriguez any money for any reason: 478, on December 31, 2017. A little over 15 months.

Days until the next Winter Olympics begins in Pyeongchang, Korea: 518, on February 9, 2018. Exactly 17 months.

Days until the next World Cup kicks off in Russia: 643, on June 14, 2018. Under 21 months. The U.S. team will probably qualify for it, but with Jurgen Klinsmann as manager, particularly in competitive matches such as World Cup Qualifiers, rather than in friendlies, you never know.

Days until the Baseball Hall of Fame vote is announced, electing Mariano Rivera: 851, on January 9, 2019. Under 2 1/2 years, or 28 months.

Days until the Baseball Hall of Fame vote is announced, electing Derek Jeter: 1,216, on January 8, 2020. Under 3 1/2 years, or 40 months.

Days until the next Summer Olympics begins in Tokyo, Japan: 1,414, on July 24, 2020. Under 4 years. Under 47 months.

There were 3 rain delays in last night's game at Yankee Stadium II. Such delays can kill a leading team's momentum. It's already come back to bite the Yankees once this season.

Not this time. Coming off the previous night's walkoff home run by Tyler Austin against the Tampa Bay Rays, the Yankees took a 1-0 lead in the 1st inning, scored 2 in the 3rd on another home run by Gary Sanchez, and 4 in the 4th, on a grand slam by Mark Teixeira.

Sanchez now has 12 home runs on the season, the same number that Teix has of "Teix Messages," in far fewer at-bats.

But Michael Pineda couldn't get out of the 5th inning. The September roster expansion means that Joe Girardi has a bit more flexibility with the bullpen. But Chasen Shreve was also shaky. He and Pineda each allowed the last-place Rays 2 runs.

The much-maligned Adam Warren came in, and settled things down. Since Pineda fell 1 out short of the 5-inning requirement for a starter, he could not be officially declared the winning pitcher even though the Yankees led when he left the game.

Dellin Betances let in a run in the 9th, after the last rain delay, but that was enough to seal the win. Yankees 7, Rays 5. WP: Warren (5-3). SV: Betances (10). LP: Snell (5-8).

For the 1st time all season, the Yankees are 10 games over .500. I guess A-Rod was the drag on us.

The Boston Red Sox beat the Toronto Blue Jays, so the Yankees remain 4 games out in the American League Eastern Division. However, the Baltimore Orioles lost, so the Yankees move to within 1 game of the 2nd AL Wild Card slot. There are 20 games to go.

The Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming...

The series continues this afternoon, first pitch at 4:05 PM. Opposing pitchers: Masahiro Tanaka vs. Chris Archer.

Tomorrow, the New York Giants open their 92nd season of National Football League play, and the Dallas Cowboys open their 57th, against each other, at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas, the Cowboys' home.

This morning (our time), in Premier League action, in "The Manchester Derby," Manchester City defeated Manchester United 2-1 at Old Trafford, United's stadium outside Manchester, England.

The Dallas Cowboys are the Manchester United of the National Football League. And Man U are the Cowboys of the Premier League.

The NFL used to bend over backwards to help the Cowboys. They were on TV so much, somebody once joked that CBS stood for Cowboys Broadcasting Service. Somehow, the Pittsburgh Steelers beat them in 2 Super Bowls... until 1996, when, with the truly idiotic Neil O'Donnell instead of the merely alleged dimwit Terry Bradshaw at quarterback, the Steelers couldn't stop the Cowboys.

That was the last time the Cowboys won a Super Bowl -- or even reached one.

When NBC started broadcasting Premier League soccer games in 2013, they got Saturday Night Live performer Jason Sudeikis to play Ted Lasso, an American football coach placed in charge of London team Tottenham Hotspur (a typically stupid Tottenham move). He decided that he could learn the teams in the League, he would get comparisons to U.S. sports teams:

Assistant coach: "Manchester United: Super-rich. Everybody either loves them or hates them."

Ted: "Dallas Cowboys."

Assistant: "Liverpool: Used to be great. Haven't won a title in a really long time."

Ted: "Also, Dallas Cowboys."

Liverpool haven't won the League since 1990. Man United didn't win it from 1967 to 1993, but from 1993 to 2013, 21 seasons, they won it 13 times, becoming one of the most popular sports teams on the planet.

Unfairly.
Top 5 Reasons the Dallas Cowboys are the Manchester United of the National Football League

1. They cheat. And they get away with it. The Cowboys have been getting gifts from the officials since at least the mid-1970s. Man U? Guess what: Their attempts to cheat long predate Alex Ferguson's arrival in 1986.

In 1915, to avoid relegation, they got Liverpool to agree to throw a late-season match. They got caught, and the only reason either team stayed in the League, avoiding expulsion, is that Henry Norris, champion of North London club Arsenal, agreed to support them, and throw his friends' support behind them, if both would support Arsenal's promotion from Division Two to Division One. No money changed hands, so the accusation that Arsenal "bribed their way into the top flight" is a lie. But Man U's corruption goes back over 100 years.

Even before Fergie arrived, they won the 1983 and 1985 FA Cups largely due to the penalty-winning dives and dirty tackles of Northern Irish star Norman Whiteside. Fergie came in, and realized that his team wasn't good enough to win honestly, so he allowed stuff like that. By 1990, he'd won an FA Cup; by 1993, he'd started winning the League. But Man U have had notorious divers ever since: Ruud van Nitselrooy, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney and Ashley Young.

And they get away with it. When have the Cowboys, or Man U, ever been denied a major victory because a referee got a call wrong against them -- or right against them? Ah, but ask a Minnesota Vikings fan about the Roger Staubach to Drew Pearson "Hail Mary" play in the 1975 Playoffs (at Minnesota, no less), and they'll tell you that Pearson was guilty of offensive pass interference -- and the video proves that they're right.

For Man U, the most notorious examples have been against Arsenal. In a match early in the 2003-04 season, Man U players were kicking Arsenal's players all over the pitch, but it was Arsenal captain Patrick Vieira who got sent off late, and he didn't even make contact on the play in question, but United's Ruud van Nistelrooy got off without even a warning for the play knocking Vieira down in the first place. Then, at the end of the game, with the score 0-0, Diego Forlan dove in the penalty area, and referee Steve Bennett awarded a bogus penalty -- which, of course, van Nistelrooy took. Justice was served when he clanged it off the crossbar. That was the closest Arsenal came to losing a League game that season, as they became "The Invincibles."

Arsenal's League record 49-game unbeaten streak came to an end a year later, when, again, United players, particularly the brothers Gary and Phil Neville, made dirty play after dirty play, particularly kicking Arsenal's young Spanish forward Jose Antonio Reyes. Both should have been sent off. Instead, in the 72nd minute, new signing Wayne Rooney made an obvious dive in the box, and the referee awarded United a bullshit penalty. This time, van Nistelrooy made it, ending Arsenal's streak. Rooney would eventually take his place as Man U's penalty-taker, celebrating his unearned penalties as if he'd just won the World Cup.

The referee from this game was Mike Riley. Was he punished for his (pick one: Incompetence or Corruption)? No: He became the chief official in English football. And Arsenal haven't won the League since, while Man U have won the League 5 times since. In the immortal words of NCIS' Leroy Jethro Gibbs, "I don't believe in coincidences."

Do you doubt that Man U's gains are ill-gotten? Think about this: For all that Man U achieved under manager Alex Ferguson, no player managed by him, or by the Man U managers since he retired in 2013, has ever won the World Cup. (Juan Mata won it with Spain in 2010, but he was with Spanish club Valencia at the time.) Only 1 has even won the European Championship while under contract to Man U: Peter Schmeichel, goalkeeper for the Denmark team that won in 1992 -- and they weren't even supposed to be in the tournament, invited after Yugoslavia was disqualified due to their war crimes in Bosnia.

What about Cristiano Ronaldo and Nani, whose Portugal just won the Euros? Neither ever won anything for Portugal while with Man U.

To be fair, many of United's best players have come from countries whose hope of winning a major tournament are not good, although Mark Hughes' and Ryan Giggs' native Wales did reach the Semifinals of the recent Euro 2016. But Denis Irwin's and Roy Keane's Republic of Ireland, Nemanja Vidic's Serbia, and Ole Gunnar Solsjaer's Norway aren't exactly in position to seriously challenge for honors.

But what about those players who do come from major footballing powers? Considering how much hype United's English players have gotten, you'd think they'd have won something. But England haven't even reached the Semifinal of the World Cup since 1990, nor of the Euros since 1996 (and that was on home soil).

France won Euro 1984, and then the 1998 World Cup and Euro 2000. In between was the entire career of Cantona, and France won nothing. France haven't won anything since (although they reached the Finals of the 2006 World Cup and the recent Euros), despite Man U's Patrice Evra and Mikael Silvestre. They've had van Nistelrooy, Jaap Stam, Edwin van der Sar and Robin van Persie from the Netherlands: Nothing since Euro 1988 (and neither was with Man U yet). Tim Howard was with Man U when he helped the U.S. win the CONCACAF Gold Cup in 2007, but that tournament isn't on the same level as the Euros, let alone the World Cup.

You see, without English referees to protect them, United players can't win the big one. They get exposed as either not nearly as great as you think they are (this is also true for Cristiano at Real Madrid), or bang average (Beckham, Rooney, the dirty and non-singing Neville brothers).

2. Their fans are like rats: They're everywhere. (Also, they smell like sewage.) The Cowboys' 1970s and 1990s successes mean that they've got fans in places that ordinarily should hate them.

New York and North Jersey, which is Giants and Jets territory, has lots of Cowboy fans. Philadelphia and South Jersey, which is Eagles territory, has lots of Cowboy fans. Maryland, the southern and western part of which is Washington Redskins territory, and Virginia, all of which should be Redskins territory, has lots of Cowboy fans. This is in spite of the Giants, Eagles and Redskins being NFC Eastern Division rivals of the Cowboys.

Before the New England Patriots got good in the mid-1990s, the most popular football teams in Boston were as follows:

1. Notre Dame, because of the Catholic influence.
2. Dallas Cowboys.
3. Boston College.
4. New York Giants: The closest pro football team before 1960, they still had influence then.
5. Harvard, even among people with no chance in hell of being accepted there.
6. A local resident's high school's team.
7. Holy Cross, located in nearby Worcester.
8. Boston University, which dropped its football program in 1997.
9. New England Patriots.

Who knows, because of their successes in the 1960s, '70s and/or '80s, the Green Bay Packers, Pittsburgh Steelers and San Francisco 49ers might've even been more popular than the Pats in New England.

How does this compare to Man U? The joke is that everyone from Manchester is actually a Manchester City fan. Whenever they play at Old Trafford, it's a long drive home to London, or Surrey, or Cornwall, or Wales, or to Liverpool and then on the ferry to Ireland. This gets extended to the games that Man United play in London: Their fans have a shorter ride home on the Underground (subway) than the home team's fans.

The irony is, neither team actually plays in the city for whom they're named. The Cowboys began their existence in 1960, at the Cotton Bowl, in the City of Dallas, 2 miles east of downtown. They've been getting further and further away. In 1971, they moved to Texas Stadium, 11 miles northwest of downtown, in Irving. In 2009, they moved to AT&T Stadium, 19 miles west of downtown, in Arlington.

Since 1910 (but with significant renovations making most of the stadium far newer), Man U have played at Old Trafford, in the Town of Salford, in the Metropolitan Borough of Trafford, in "Greater Manchester" but not in the City of Manchester itself, 3 miles west of downtown. There's also a separate stadium named Old Trafford Cricket Ground, half a mile away, home of Lancashire County Cricket Club.

3. Their fans are stupid. Their fans believe their team doesn't cheat, but that everyone else's teams do. And they're sure that they never lose, time just runs out on them. (To be fair, the first team I heard that said about was the football team at the University of Notre Dame in South Bend, Indiana.)

But it's worse than that: Just as lots of Man U fans think Eric Cantona, David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo still play for them, you can find lots of Cowboys who think that, if Tony Romo gets hurt (which happened this preseason, Troy Aikman will step in at quarterback.

Is it really that bad, in either case? Not really. But they are stupid enough to think that "history" began at a certain point, and that everything before that point doesn't count.

For Cowboy fans, it's 1967, the calendar year of the first Super Bowl. Cowboy fans will tell you that they've won 5 Super Bowls, and their putative arch-rivals, the Washington Redskins, only 3. The truth is, the Cowboys and Redskins have won the same number of NFL Championships: 5. But 2 of the Redskins' titles were in the pre-Super Bowl era.

This is why it was such a good thing that the Steelers have now won 6 Super Bowls: It means that idiot Cowboy fans can no longer say they rank ahead of everybody because they've won the most Super Bowls. (For the record, the Green Bay Packers have the most NFL Championships, with 13, 4 of them coming in the Super Bowl era; the Chicago Bears, 9, but just 1 as a Super Bowl; the Giants, 8, 4 as Super Bowls.)

For Manchester United fans, it's 1992, the year England's Football League Division One became the Premier League. This enables them to say that the teams they hated the most had never won the Premier League: Liverpool haven't finished first since 1990, Leeds United haven't since 1992 (the last season of the old League), and, until 2012, Manchester City hadn't since 1968. So whenever Liverpool fans talk about their history, Man U fans tell them that anything before 1992 doesn't count.

Unless, of course, you're talking about Man U's pre-1992 League titles and their 1968 European Cup: Apparently, those count, while Liverpool's pre-1992 achievements, including 4 of their 5 European Cups, don't.

4. Their fans are front-runners. Nobody outside their home region would root for them if they didn't win. If, with their recent riches, Manchester City were permitted to buy United's history and give them their own, anybody outside Greater Manchester who was a United fan would switch to being a City fan.

Same with the Cowboys: With the exception of the 1997-2001 interregnum between the move of the Oilers and the debut of the Texans, Houston has also had pro football since 1960, but if the histories of the Cowboys and the combined records of the Oilers and Texans were switched, there'd be an awful lot of Houston fans out here -- and if it had happened before 1996, maybe the Oilers wouldn't have had to move. Maybe, instead of the Oilers, the Cowboys would have become the Tennessee Titans.

As the late Bum Phillips, who coached the Oilers to Playoff berths in the late 1970s, said, "The Cowboys may be 'America's Team,' but the Oilers' are Texas' team." There's also people, in Houston, in San Antonio, in Austin, and even in Forth Worth, close to Dallas but resenting the larger, richer city, who like to say, "Dallas is not in Texas."

Lots of people not from Greater Manchester had United shirts, but switched to Chelsea, or Man City, or maybe now even Leicester City shirts when those teams won the League. I'm sure lots of Cowboy fans from outside North Texas, after 1996, switched to Green Bay, then Denver, then New England jerseys. Whoever wins the Super Bowl in this season will have lots of people known to have once been Cowboy fans saying, "I've always rooted for the (Packers, Panthers, Seahawks, whoever it turns out to be)!"

5. They are the most-loved team in their league, but even more people hate them. Yes, I know, this also brings up the comparison to the Yankees. And the Los Angeles Lakers. And the Detroit Red Wings. And Notre Dame football. And Duke basketball.

But it's true. And, as the legendary actor John Houseman said in those commercials for Smith Barney in the 1980s, the Dallas Cowboys and Manchester United came by this hatred the old-fashioned way: They earned it.

In case you're wondering: There is no actual crossover between the teams. There have been people who've owned teams in each league, including the Glazer family owning both Man United and the NFL's Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has nothing to do with any soccer franchise.

While the Cowboys played preseason games at the old Wembley Stadium in London in 1986 and 1993, and a regular-season game at the new Wembley in 2014, they haven't played at Old Trafford. (Indeed, no NFL team has.) And while Man United have toured America several times, they have never played in any stadium in the Dallas-Fort Worth "Metroplex."

Today, September 11, the 2 cities most affected by the attacks of September 11, 2001 faced each other in Major League Soccer, as the New York Red Bulls hosted D.C. United at Red Bull Arena in Harrison, New Jersey. There was a pregame ceremony honoring those we lost, and those who helped us recover. Both teams wore stars-and-stripes inside their uniform numbers. And the Red Bulls choked away a 2-0 lead, as DCU scored in the 5th minute of stoppage time (there shouldn't have been more than 3) to forge a 2-2 tie.

Thankfully, the usual fan nastiness of the "Atlantic Cup" rivalry was put aside on this occasion.

Next Sunday, September 18, the New York Red Bulls travel across the border to play away to Toronto Football Club, a.k.a. Toronto FC, a.k.a. TFC, a.k.a. The Reds. Hopefully, those fans visiting will remember how much Canada helped us on 9/11, including taking our planes and their passengers in when we had to shut down the airports, and putting those passengers up in their hotels for free.

Being in a foreign country has its particular challenges -- and, yes, for all its similarities to America, Canada is still a foreign country.

Before You Go. Make sure you call your bank and tell them you're going. After all, Canada may be an English-speaking country, and a democracy (if a parliamentary one), and a country with a Major League Baseball team, but it is still a foreign country. If your bank gets a record of your ATM card making a withdrawal from any country other than the U.S., it may freeze the card, and any other accounts you may have with them. So be sure to let them know that you will, in fact, be in Canada for a little while.

And, since June 1, 2009, you need a passport to cross the border in either direction. Even if you have a valid driver's license (or other State-issued ID) and your birth certificate, they ain't lettin' you across into the True North Strong and Free. Not even if you're a Blue Jays season-ticket holder living in Buffalo or if you sing hosannas of praise to Wayne Gretzky. You don’t have a passport? Get one. You do have one? Make sure it’s valid and up to date. This is not something you want to mess with. Canadian Customs officials do not fuck around: They care about their national security, too.

Do yourself another big favor: Change your money before you go. There are plenty of currency exchanges in New York City, including one on 42nd Street between 7th and 8th Avenue.

Leave yourself $50 in U.S. cash, especially if you're going other than by plane, so you'll have usable cash when you get back to your side of the border. At last check, on the afternoon of April 7, 2016, US$1.00 = C$1.29 – or, C$1.00 = US 78 cents. However, since the currency exchanges need to make a profit, the current rate may actually favor Canada.  (I was actually in Canada on the day when it most favored the U.S.: January 18, 2002, $1.60 to $1.00 in our favor.)

The multi-colored bill were confusing on my first visit, although we have those now, too. The $5 is blue, and features Wilfrid Laurier (Prime Minister 1896-1911). The $10 is purple, and features John A. Macdonald (the 1st Prime Minister, 1867-1873 and again 1878-1891, essentially he's their George Washington without having fought a war for independence). The $20 is green, and features the nation's head of state, Britain's Queen Elizabeth II. The $50 is red, and features William Lyon Mackenzie King (the longest-serving Prime Minister, 1921-1926, 1926-1930, 1935-1948, including World War II). And the $100 is yellow, and features Robert Borden (Prime Minister 1911-1920, including World War I).

The tricky part is going to be the coins – and you'll thank me for telling you this, but keep your U.S. coins and your Canadian coins separate, for the simple reason that their penny, nickel, dime and quarter are all the same colors and just about the same size as our respective coins. (To make matters more confusing, as we recently did with our States, they had a Provincial quarter series.)

All coins have Queen Elizabeth's portrait on the front, but she's been Queen since 1952, and depending on how old the coin is, you might get a young woman, or her current 90-year-old self, or anything in between. You might even get a penny or a nickel old enough to feature her father, King George VI. Such a coin is still legal tender, however.

They have a $1 coin, copper-colored, bigger than a quarter, and 11-sided, with a bird on the back. This bird is a loon – not to be confused with the people lunatic enough to buy Maple Leafs season tickets. The coin is thus called the "loonie," although they don’t say "ten loonies": They use "buck" for "dollar" the way we would.  In fact, the term is connected to Canada: Their first English settlers were the Hudson's Bay Company, and they set the value of a dollar to the price of the pelt of a male beaver, the male of the species being called, as are those of a deer and a rabbit, a buck. (And the female, a doe.) The nation's French-speakers (Francophones) use the French word for loon, and call it a "huard," but since the Montreal Expos are gone, you probably won't hear that term unless you're a hockey fan and go to see the Rangers, Devils or Islanders in Montreal – or maybe Ottawa, which is on the Ontario-Quebec border and has a lot of French-first-speakers.

Then there's the $2 coin, or "toonie." It's not just two dollars, it's two-toned, and even two-piece. It's got a copper center, with the Queen on the front and a polar bear on the back, and a nickel ring around it. This coin is about the size of the Eisenhower silver dollars we used to have. This is the coin that drives me bonkers when I’m up there.

My suggestion is that, when you first get your money changed before you begin your trip, ask for $1 coins but no $2 coins. It’s just simpler. I like Canada a lot, but their money, yikes, eh?

This is Canada, the Great White North, but, being mid-September, it can be hot. According to the Toronto Star website, temperatures will be in the high 80s in the afternoon and the high 60s at night. 

Toronto is in the Eastern Time Zone, so you won't have to reset your watch or fiddle with your smartphone's clock.

Tickets. Since their establishment in 2007, Toronto FC have, despite not being very successful on the field, been very successful at the box office. They averaged 23,451 fans per home game last season -- a sellout. Capacity has been expanded to 30,228, and they're still selling it out. Part of this is due to Toronto's status as an "international city." Large French, Italian, Russian and African communities love to watch soccer, both in the stadium and on TV from around the world at pubs. And, with Ontario still being part of the British Commonwealth, the English pub culture is strong.

Fortunately, this being soccer, sections are set aside for visiting fans. Specific to this stadium, it's Sections 104 and 105, in the northeastern corner. According to the source I have, tickets for those sections are $36 -- but already sold out. You may have to find an alternate means of getting them, or sit among home fans (which are still available, at prices running from $36 to $77 -- in each case, those are in U.S. dollars, as they're quoted by Ticketmaster, a U.S. company).

Getting There. The best way is by plane. (Note that these prices, unlike the preceding, will be in U.S. dollars.) Air Canada runs flights out of Newark Liberty, John F. Kennedy and LaGuardia International Airport to Toronto's Lester Pearson International Airport (he was Prime Minister from 1963 to 1968 and won the Nobel Peace Prize), and the flight takes about an hour and a half. Book on Air Canada today, and you can get a round-trip flight for under $500. On an American carrier (including, but not necessarily, American Airlines), it will be more expensive, and it won't be nonstop.

Greyhound runs 9 buses a day from Port Authority Bus Terminal to the Toronto Coach Terminal, at 610 Bay Street. (Countries in the British Commonwealth, including Canada, call a local bus a bus and an inter-city bus a "coach.") The ride averages about 11 hours, and is $166 round-trip -- although an advance purchase can drop it to $84.  The TCT is big and clean, although a little confusing, as it seems to be two separate buildings. You shouldn’t have any difficulties with it. It's one block down Bay to Dundas Street, and turn left to get to the Dundas subway station.
Amtrak, however, runs just one train, the Maple Leaf, in each direction each day between New York and Toronto, in cooperation with Canada's equivalent, VIA Rail. This train leaves Pennsylvania Station at 7:15 AM and arrives at Union Station at 7:42 PM, a trip of 12 hours and 22 minutes – 9:10 of it in America, 32 minutes of it at Customs (4:25 to 4:57 PM) and 2:45 of it in Canada. The return trip leaves Toronto at 8:20 AM, reaches the border at 10:22, and gets back to Penn Station at 9:50 PM.

So if you want to see, for example, this entire upcoming series), you would have to leave New York on a Monday morning and leave on a Friday morning, and spend 4 nights in a hotel.
So, while Toronto's Union Station, at 65 Front Street West, is one of the world's great rail terminals, and is the heart of the city (it's the centerpoint of the city's subway system, so it's not just in the heart of the city), taking Amtrak/VIA to Toronto is not particularly convenient. Especially since the Maple Leaf is one of Amtrak’s most popular routes, and it could sell out. If you still want to try it, it's US$246 round-trip. That's a lot more than Greyhound.
If you're driving, it's 500 miles – well, 492 miles from Times Square to downtown Toronto, and 479 miles from Red Bull Arena to BMO Field. Get into New Jersey to Interstate 80, and take it all the way across the State. Shortly after crossing the Delaware River and entering Pennsylvania, take I-380, following the signs for Scranton, until reaching I-81. (If you've driven to a game of the Yankees' Triple-A farm team, the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees, you already know this part.) Take I-81 north into New York State. (If you've driven to a game of the Mets' Double-A farm team, the Binghamton Mets, you already know this part.) Continue on I-81 past Binghamton and to Syracuse, where you'll get on the New York State Thruway, which, at this point, is I-90. Continue on the Thruway west, past Rochester, to Buffalo.

What happens next depends on where you cross the border. But first, let's discuss what you should do when you're actually at the border. Because you need to take this seriously. Because Canadian Customs will.

You'll be asked your citizenship, and you'll have to show your passport and your photo ID. You'll be asked why you're visiting Canada. Seeing a Yankees vs. Blue Jays game probably won't (but might) get you a smart-aleck remark about how the Jays are going to win, but they won't keep you out of their country based on that alone.

If you're bringing a computer with you (counting a laptop, but probably not counting a smartphone), you don't have to mention it, but you probably should. Chances are, you won't be carrying a large amount of food or plants; if you were, depending on how much, you might have to declare them.

Chances are, you won't be bringing alcohol into the country, but you can bring in one of the following items duty-free, and anything above or in addition to this must have duty paid on it: 1.5 litres (53 ounces) of wine, or 8.5 litres (300 ounces or 9.375 quarts) of beer or ale, or 1.14 litres (40 ounces) of hard liquor. If you have the slightest suspicion that I'm getting any of these numbers wrong, check the Canada Customs website. Better yet, don't bring booze in. Or out.

As for tobacco, well, you shouldn't use it. But, either way over the border, you can bring up to 200 cigarettes, 50 cigars, and 200 grams (7 ounces) of manufactured tobacco. As for Cuban cigars, last year, President Obama relaxed the embargo: Now, travelers may return to the United States with up to US$100 worth of alcohol or tobacco or a combination of both. Products acquired in Cuba may be in accompanied baggage, for personal use only. 

If you've got anything in your car (or, if going by bus or train) that could be considered a weapon, even if it's a disposable razor or nail clippers, tell them. And while Canada does have laws that allow you to bring in firearms if you're a licensed hunter (you'd have to apply for a license to the Province where you plan to hunt), the country has the proper attitude concerning guns: They hate them. They go absolutely batshit insane if you try to bring a firearm into their country. Which, if you're sane, is actually the sane way to treat the issue.

You think I'm being ridiculous? How about this: Seven of the 44 U.S. Presidents -- 9 counting the Roosevelts, Theodore after he was President and Franklin right before -- have faced assassins with guns, 6 got hit and 4 died; but none of the 23 people (including 1 woman) to serve as Prime Minister of Canada has ever faced an assassination attempt. John Lennon recorded "Give Peace a Chance" in Montreal and gave his first "solo concert" in Toronto, but he got shot and killed in New York. In fact, the next time I visit, I half-expect to see a bumper sticker that says, "GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, AMERICANS WITH GUNS KILL PEOPLE."

(Another note about weapons: I'm a fan of the TV show NCIS, which airs in Canada on Global Network TV. If you are also a fan of this show, and you usually observe Gibbs Rule Number 9, "Never go anywhere without a knife," you need to remember that these are rules for members of Gibbs' team, not for civilians. So, this time, forget the knife, and leave it at home. If you really think you're going to need it -- as a tool -- mention the knife to the border guard, and show it to him, and tell him you have it to use as a tool in case of emergency, and that you do not plan to use it as a weapon. Do not mention the words "Rule Number 9" or quote said rule, or else he'll observe his Rule Number 1: "Do not let this jackass into your country, eh?" And another thing: Border guards, and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, most likely will observe a variation on Gibbs Rule Number 23: "Never mess with a Mountie's Tim Hortons coffee if you want to live.")

And if you can speak French, don't try to impress the Customs officials with it. Or the locals, for that matter. You're going into Ontario, not Quebec. (And even if you were going into Quebec, they're not going to be impressed by your ability to speak their first language.) A, People of French descent are a minority west of Quebec (although singers Alanis Morrissette and Avril Lavigne are both Franco-Ontarians); and, B, They can probably speak English, let alone French, and possibly another language or two, better than you can. If you try to speak French in Toronto, you won't sound like you're from Montreal, and you certainly won't sound like you're from Paris. You'll sound like a smartass. That's if you speak French well. If you don't, you'll sound like a damn fool.

When crossing back into the U.S., in addition to what you would have to declare on the way in (if you still have any of it), you would have to declare items you purchased and are carrying with you upon return, items you bought in duty-free shops or (if you flew) on the plane, and items you intend to sell or use in your business, including business merchandise that you took out of the United States on your trip. There are other things, but, since you're just going for baseball, they probably won't apply to you. Just in case, check the Canadian Customs website I linked to above.

Precisely where will you be crossing the border? It could be at the Peace Bridge, built in 1927 to commemorate the U.S. and Canada having "the world's longest undefended border," from Buffalo into the Ontario city of Fort Erie.
After going through Customs, this would take you right onto the Queen Elizabeth Way (the QEW). After the Pennsylvania Turnpike, this was North America's 2nd superhighway, and was named not for the current Queen but for her mother, the wife of King George VI, the woman most people now under the age of 65 called the Queen Mother or the Queen Mum. (You know: Helena Bonham-Carter in The King's Speech.) This road will hug Lake Ontario and go through the Ontario cities of Niagara Falls, St. Catharines and Hamilton before turning north and then east toward Toronto. Toronto's CN Tower is so tall that you may actually see it, across the lake, before you get to Hamilton.

The most common route from Buffalo to Toronto, however, is to go north on I-190, the Thruway's Niagara Extension, to Niagara Falls, and over the Rainbow Bridge, past the Horseshoe Falls. After you go through Customs, the road will become Ontario Provincial Highway 405, which eventually flows into the Queen Elizabeth Way.
At the edge of the "megacity" of Toronto (Montreal is also now a "megacity"), the QEW becomes the Frederick G. Gardiner Expressway. ("Big Daddy" Gardiner was a major Toronto politician, and was responsible for getting it built.) The Gardiner does not have numbers on its exits. If you're going for only the game, and are leaving Toronto right afterward (I don't recommend this this: Spend a day in the city), you'll take the Spadina Avenue exit to get to Rogers Centre.

If you make 3 rest stops – I would recommend at or near Scranton and Syracuse, and count Customs, where they will have a restroom and vending machines – and if you don't do anything stupid at Customs, such as fail to produce your passport, or flash a weapon, or say you watch South Park (a show with a vendetta against Canada for some reason), or call Sidney Crosby a cheating, diving pansy (even though he is one) – the trip should take about 11 hours.

Though that could become 12, because Toronto traffic is every bit as bad as traffic in New York, Boston and Washington. As Canada native (Regina, Saskatchewan) Leslie Nielsen would say, I am serious, and don't call me Shirley: Toronto traffic is awful.

Once In the City. Founded as York in 1793, it became the City of Toronto in 1834, the name coming from Taronto, a Native American name for the channel of water between Lake Simcoe and Lake Couchiching. There are 2.6 million people in the city, and 5.6 million in the metro area; in each case, making it larger than any in North America except New York, Los Angeles and Chicago -- unless you count Mexico to be part of "North America" instead of "Central America," in which case add Mexico City to those that are larger.

Since Canada is in the British Commonwealth, there are certain subtle differences. Every measurement will be in the metric system. Dates are written not as Month/Day/Year, as we do it, but as Day/Month/Year as in Britain and in Europe. So the series begins for us on "April 12, 2016" but for them on "12 April 2016."

They also follow British custom in writing time: A game starting at 7:07 PM would be listed as 1907. (Those of you who have served in the military, you will recognize this as, in the words of M*A*S*H's Lt. Col. Henry Blake, "all that hundred-hours stuff.") And every word we would end with -or, they will end with -our; and some (but not all) words that we would end with -er, they end with -re, as in "Rogers Centre."

Another thing to keep in mind: Don't ask anyone where the "bathroom" is -- ask for the "washroom." This difference was a particular pet peeve of mine the first time I arrived at the Toronto Coach Terminal, although it wasn't a problem in Montreal's Gare Centrale as I knew the signs would be in French.

Every measurement will be in the metric system: Temperatures will be in Celsius, not Fahrenheit; distances will be in "kilometres," not miles (including speed limits, so don't drive 100 thinking it's miles); and gas prices will be per "litre," not per gallon (so don't think you're getting cheap gas, because a liter is a little more than a quart, so multiply the price by 4, and you'll get roughly the price per gallon, and it will be more expensive than at home, not less).

When you arrive, I would recommend buying the Toronto Star and The Globe and Mail. The former newspaper is local, the latter is national, and both are liberal enough to suit my sensibilities (or, should I say, sensible enough to suit my liberalism). And The Star has a very good sports section, and should do a good job covering the Jays, although, being a hockey city in a hockey Province in a hockey country, you’ll see a lot of stuff about the Maple Leafs and nearby minor-league, collegiate and “junior” hockey teams no matter what time of year it is.

I would advise against buying the Toronto Sun, because it’s a right-wing sensationalist tabloid, and every bit the journalistically sloppy rag that the New York Post is. (It also has conservative “sister papers” called the Sun in Ottawa, Winnipeg, Edmonton and Calgary, although the Vancouver Sun is not connected.) The National Post, while also politically conservative (and thus a national competitor for The Globe and Mail), is a broadsheet and thus conservative in the sense that it is calmer and more sensible with its journalism.

If you can get to Union Station after leaving your hotel, you may also be able to get out-of-town papers, including the New York ones, as well as Canadian papers such as the Montreal Gazette and the Ottawa Citizen.

The drinking age in Ontario is 19. Toronto's sales tax is 13 percent -- in 2010, this replaced the former Provincial sales tax of 5 percent and the federal GST (Goods & Services Tax) of 8 percent. In other words, the Conservative Party government of Prime Minister Stephen Harper wanted Canadians to think he'd killed the hated GST, when, in fact, Ontarians (who only make up 36 percent of the country) are paying pretty much the same taxes that they did before. See how stupid it is to vote for conservative candidates? It doesn't work in any country.

Union Station is at the intersection of Bay & Front Streets. Bay runs north-south, and divides Toronto's east and west sides, and the street numberings thereof; the lake serves as the "zero point" for streets running north and south, and thus there's no North and South on street names. Bay Street is also Canada's "Wall Street," the center of Toronto's financial district, and is not particularly well-liked by, well, anybody who isn't conservative in Canada.

Toronto has a subway, Canada’s oldest, opened in 1954 and known as “the Rocket.” (I’ll bet Montrealers hated that, since it was the nickname of their beloved hockey star Maurice Richard, well before future Blue Jay and Yankee Roger Clemens was even born.) Along with Philadelphia, it's one of the last 2 subway systems in North America that still uses tokens rather than a farecard system such as New York's MetroCard.
They also have a streetcar system. Tokens can be used on both, and are C$3.25, (US$2.48, so it's actually cheaper than New York's), but are not sold individually. You must buy a minimum of 3, for C$8.10 (US$6.18), and the price per token goes down the more you buy. A Daypass is a much better value, at C$12.00 (US$9.16).
Going In. BMO Field (pronounced "BEE-moh"), home of Canada's Sports Hall of Fame and Major League Soccer's rather unimaginatively-named Toronto FC, was built in 2007 on the site of Exhibition Stadium.

Despite the stadium being in Toronto, BMO is short for Bank of Montreal, which, perhaps awkwardly, is also the jersey sponsor for TFC's arch-rivals, the Montreal Impact. This would be like if the Red Sox had replaced Fenway Park, and named the new facility BNY Mellon Stadium, as the Mellon Financial Corporation bought out the Bank of New York.

It's a little more than 2 miles west of Union Station. If you're driving in, the official address is 170 Princes' Blvd. Exhibition Stadium was across Prince's Blvd. from BMO Field. Parking is C$14. If you're taking public transportation, use GO, Toronto's commuter-rail service out of Union Station, the Lakeshore West line, to Exhibition stop.

Regardless, you'll likely be entering from the north. The stadium is a horseshoe, open at the north end. Gate 1 is at the northeast corner, Gate 2 is on the east side, Gate 3 at the southeast corner, Gate 3B at the south end (it may have been added later, messing up the sequence, like the New Jersey Turnpike's Exits 6A, 7A, 8A and 15X), Gate 4 on he west side, and Gate 5 at the northwest corner.

The field is aligned (roughly) north-to-south, and is real grass. The arrival of the Canadian Football League's Toronto Argonauts for this year has resulted in an expansion to 30,228 seats.

BMO Field hosted the 2008 MLS All-Star Game, between MLS All-Stars and London club West Ham United, and the 2010 MLS Cup Final, a neutral-site game in which the Colorado Rapids defeated FC Dallas. Toronto FC has hosted England's Liverpool FC, and Italy's AC Milan and Greece's Olympiacos have opposed each other there.

On November 27 (Thanksgiving Sunday to us, although Canada's Thanksgiving is in October), BMO Field will host the Grey Cup, the CFL championship game. This coming New Year's Day, in connection with the 100th Anniversary of both the NHL and the Maple Leafs, it will host the NHL Centennial Classic, an outdoor game between the Leafs and the Detroit Red Wings.
Food. Toronto is an international city, and you would expect its sports venues to have good food. The north end of the stadium, the open end, is dominated by the Budweiser King Club, open only to season-ticketholders, Open to all are the RealSports Barbecue Pit, Hero Certified Burgers, Toronto-based pizza franchise Pizza Pizza, and Sal's Poutinerie (if, that is, you can eat poutine without spitting that foul stuff back out).

The east stand has Taste of Italy and Footy's Footlongs (hot dogs). The south end has another RealSports Barbecue Pit, another Sal's Poutinerie, and an El Jimador bar. The west stand has another Sal's Poutinerie and a Taco FC stand. The west stand also has an upper deck, which has a Pizza Pizza stand.

Team History Displays. It took TFC from their founding in 2007 until 2015 before they first made the MLS Cup Playoffs. They have won the Canadian Championship -- effectively, Canada's version of England's FA Cup -- 5 times: In 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, and 2016 (this season); and finished runners-up in 2008 and 2014.
But that achievement becomes less impressive when you remember that there's only 5 teams competing: TFC, the Montreal Impact, the Vancouver Whitecaps, and 2 sub-MLS teams, the Ottawa Fury and FC Edmonton. And that it's only been running since 2008, and, except for Vancouver in 2015, either Toronto or Montreal has won it every time. (All of Toronto's Final wins have been over Vancouver, while both of their Final defeats have been to Montreal.)

Just as the Red Bulls and DC United compete for the Atlantic Cup, TFC compete for the Trillium Cup with the Columbus Crew, as the trillium is the official flower of the Province of Ontario and the official wildflower of the State of Ohio. TFC have already clinched it this season for their 3rd such cup, while the Crew have won it 6 times. There is no display in the fan-viewable areas for either the Canadian Championships or Trillium Cups won.

There is also no mention of the honors won by the team in the old North American Soccer League, known as the Toronto Metros from 1971 to 1975, the Toronto Metros-Croatia (having merged with the club named Toronto Croatia) from 1976 to 1978, and the Toronto Blizzard from 1979 to 1984. Despite winning the Soccer Bowl, the NASL title, in 1976 (beating the Minnesota Kicks in the Final), and reaching the Final again in 1983 (losing to the Tulsa Roughnecks) and 1984 (losing to the Chicago Sting); and despite such talents as British stars Peter Lorimer, Phil Parkes, Jimmy Greenhoff and Brian Talbot, they went out of business after the 1984 season, as did the entire League the following year.

A reborn Blizzard won Canada's National Soccer League title in 1986, then jumped to the new Canadian Soccer League. They lost the 1991 Final to the Vancouver 86ers, and the League folded in 1992. Other local teams winning the NSL title included Toronto Ulster United (an Irish club) in 1941; Toronto Italia in 1957, 1960, 1969, 1972, 1975, 1976, 1982, 1984, 1988, 1989, 1994 and 1996 (the last title before the league folded); Toronto Ukrainians in 1961, 1963 and 1964; Toronto Hakoah (a Jewish club) in 1965; the aforementioned Toronto Croatia in 1971 and 1974; Toronto Hungaria in 1973; Toronto Panhellenic (a Greek club) in 1977 and 1980; Toronto Falcons (a Polish club) in 1978; and Toronto First Portuguese in 1979 and 1990.

Before the Canadian Championship, from 1998 to 2007, there was the Open Canada Cup. It was won by the Toronto Olympians in 1998, 1999 and 2000; the Ottawa Wizards in 2001 and 2002, London City (Ontario) in 2003, the Windsor Border Stars in 2004 and 2005, Ottawa St. Anthony Italia in 2006, and Trois-Rivieres Attak -- the only team outside Ontario to win it -- in 2007.

Stuff. There is no TFC club shop at BMO Field -- although, with the arrival of the Argonauts, that may change for both teams. There are 7 souvenir stands located in the stadium.

Being a relatively new and unsuccessful team, there are, as yet, no books or videos about TFC. Perhaps next year, the club's 10th Anniversary, will change that.

During the Game. You will find fans from around the world at TFC home games. They may have brought their "ultra" traditions with them. But Canada prides itself on the politeness of its people. Which of these prevails on a given day is a crapshoot.

The best advice I can give you is to be on your best behavior. So don't sing, "You can shove your CN Tower up your ass!" And don't make any remarks about Queen Elizabeth: Many won't care, a few might. Saying something about Prime Minister Justin Trudeau might not have an effect, as he's from Montreal; but why take the chance? If you want to boo their players, that's fine. But keep the "You suck, asshole!" chants to a minimum.

Since you're in Canada, there will be two National Anthems sung, and the club holds auditions rather than having a regular singer. "The Star-Spangled Banner" will probably be sung by about half of the few hundred Metro Fans who show up, but "O Canada" will be sung by the home fans with considerable gusto, which is part of BMO Field having one of the most-mentioned atmospheres in the league.

When I'm at a sporting event where the opposing team is Canadian, I like to sing "O Canada" in French. Montreal Canadiens fans like this when I do it at the Prudential Center. Fans of the other Canadian NHL teams just think it's weird. When I did it in the 2 games I've been to at Rogers Centre, the Jays fans simply thought I was a twat. But then, they root for the Jays, and I root for the Yanks, so I’d rather have their opinion of me than my opinion of them. 

Since 2013, TFC's mascot has been -- I swear, I am not making this up -- a live bird of prey named Bitchy the Hawk. Unlike Challenger the Eagle, Bitchy is not trained to fly around the stadium. Rather, she was chosen as, effectively, a scarecrow, to scare off the seagulls that flew off Lake Ontario and the Toronto Islands, plagued the area when Exhibition Stadium stood, by scavenging for food and... doing other things. The seagulls don't know that she's spent all her 16 years in captivity: They think she's a wild bird of prey. (She is kept indoors at night, as Toronto's skyscrapers are known to have nests of great horned owls, who would be a threat to a tamed hawk.)

Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment (MLSE), which owns TFC, the Maple Leafs, the Raptors, their respective development clubs (Toronto FC II, the Toronto Marlies and Raptors 905), and their respective arenas and practice facilities (BMO Field, the Air Canada Centre, Ricoh Coliseum, the MasterCard Centre, the BioSteel Centre and KIA Training Ground) -- but has since sold Maple Leaf Gardens to Ryerson Arena -- acknowledged the international nature of their city, and has actively encouraged "fan culture" at TFC. The result is perhaps the most intense fan base in Major League Soccer, despite a lack of tangible success.

The oldest active group is U-Sector, named for their old section, Section U at Varsity Stadium, where they supported the Toronto Lynx from their establishment in 1997 until TFC came along in 2007. They now sit in Section 113, in the southeast corner.

The Red Patch Boys, named for the nickname of the 1st Canadian Infantry Division of World War II, sit in Section 112, which they call The Bunker, next to U-Sector in 113. They are both a supporters' group for both TFC and the Canadian national team, a counterpart to our American Outlaws. 

Original 109 sit in Section 109, on the east stand, and are noted for being TFC's traveling support. Formerly known as SG111 and SG114 after their seating sections, the Inebriatti -- Italian for "The Drunks" -- are in Section 114 behind the south goal. Their motto is, "We are not a fan club." Like Italian ultras, they wave flags and launch smoke. The Tribal Rhythm Nation unites local fans from the African, Latin American and Caribbean communities, and are noted for their drumming. They sit in Section 118, in the southwest corner.

Since TFC are known as the Reds, like Liverpool FC (whom they hosted in Summer 2014), they have borrowed Liverpool's "Oh When the Reds" chant to "When the Saints Go Marching In." They sing a version of Depeche Mode's "I Just Can't Get Enough" and a classic footie chant to become "Toronto 'Til I Die." Despite their Canadian pride, they sing a song titled "Yankee General" for their Captain, U.S. star Michael Bradley.

After the Game. As I said, some of these people may have cut their teeth as sports fans in English or European soccer. But we're not talking about hooligans here. If you behave yourself on the way out, most likely, they will, too.

There's a Medieval Times a 5-minute walk west of BMO Field, but I wouldn't recommend that as a place to go for a postgame meal -- even if it's open. Most likely, you'll have to go back downtown, unless you're driving in and right back out after the game, in which case you'll get something on the road.

The only reference I can find to a bar or restaurant in Toronto where New Yorkers are known to gather is the Sports Centre Café, at 49 St. Clair Avenue West, off Yonge Street. It has lots of screens, and, supposedly, local Giants fans watch NFL games there. I know, that's a bit vague, but it may be your best shot. St. Clair stop on the subway.

At 99 Blue Jays Way, 3 blocks north of Rogers Centre, is Wayne Gretzky's Restaurant. But since he betrayed his former fellow players and sided with his current fellow owners in the 2004-05 NHL lockout, I consider him a traitor to the game of hockey, and I will not set foot in his establishment, and I would advise you to avoid it as well.

I would also advise avoiding Jack Astor's, a smart-alecky-named chain of Canadian restaurants that includes one at 144 Front Street West, about halfway between Union Station and the Rogers Centre. I ate there the last time I was in Toronto, and the food and service would be mediocre at half the price. They have only 1 location in the U.S. -- not surprisingly, in nearby Buffalo, at the Walden Galleria east of downtown.

There's the Canadian Bar & Grill, at the Hyatt Regency at 370 King Street West, 4 blocks from Rogers Centre.  It features what it calls "traditional Canadian cuisine." This includes wild game, as well as regional items like poutine and Newfoundland clam chowder. (Apparently, the word "chowder" came from the Newfies, and theirs is closer to New England's than to the tomato-based abomination known as Manhattan clam chowder. Clam chowder is one of the few things New England does better, a lot better, than New York.)

If rabbit stew isn't your cup of tea, try the Loose Moose Tap & Grill, at 146 Front Street West, 2 blocks from the stadium. There, as they say, you'll "eat like a king then party like a rock star!" You'll be dining like a typical Torontonian, rather than with guys likely to jump into the Monty Python "Lumberjack Song." (If you've never seen that sketch, let me put it this way: Don't ask, and I won't tell.) And the Lone Star Texas Grill, a block away at 200 Front Street West, is jointly owned by several former CFL players, and is a fair takeoff on the U.S. chain Lone Star Steakhouse.

Actually, your best bet may be, as Vancouver native Cobie Smulders of the TV series How I Met Your Mother would put it, "the most Canadian place there is": Tim Hortons. (Note that there is no apostrophe: It’s "Hortons," not "Horton's," because Quebec's ridiculous protect-the-French-language law prohibits apostrophes and the company wanted to keep the same national identity.) They have a 62 percent share of the Canadian coffee market (Starbucks has just 7 percent) and 76 percent of the Canadian baked goods market. They also sell sandwiches, soup, chili, and even (some of you will perk up faster than if you'd drunk their coffee) New York-style cheesecake. It’s fast food, but good food. I rate them behind Dunkin Donuts, but ahead of Starbucks.

Tim Horton, a defenceman (that's how they spell it up there) for the Maple Leafs, and businessman Ron Joyce started the doughnut/coffee shop chain in 1964, while in the middle of the Maple Leafs' 1960s dynasty. He played a couple of years for the Rangers, then went to the Buffalo Sabres and opened a few outlets in the Buffalo area. He was still playing at age 44, and the only thing that stopped him was death. Specifically, a 100-MPH, not-wearing-a-seat-belt crash on the Queen Elizabeth Way over Twelve Mile Creek in St. Catharines, Ontario. (In other words, if you’re driving or taking the bus from New York to Toronto, you’ll pass the location.)

Joyce, whose son Ron Jr. married Horton's daughter Jeri-Lyn, joined with Dave Thomas of Wendy’s and merged the two companies in 1995, becoming its largest shareholder, with even more shares than Thomas. Although the companies have since split again, it was mutually beneficial, as Wendy's gained in Canada and Timmy's poked their heads in the U.S. door.

There are now over 3,000 Tim Hortons locations in Canada (including one at Toronto's Union Station and several on Canadian Forces Bases around the world) and over 500 in the U.S. – and they're heavily expanding in New York, including 3 in the Penn Station complex alone (despite Horton himself only briefly having played for the Rangers upstairs at the "new" Madison Square Garden). They are also partnered with Cold Stone Creamery, with an outlet on 42nd Street, a 2-minute walk from Port Authority. These Hosers know what they're doing.

If your visit to Toronto is in the European soccer season (as we now are), you can cheer on your club of choice in one of these places:

* Arsenal: Midtown Gastro Hub, 1535 Yonge Street, at Heath Street. Line 1 to St. Clair.

* Liverpool, Everton, Chelsea, Tottenham and Atletico Madrid: Scallywags, 11 St. Clair Avenue West, at Yonge Street.

* Manchester City: Opera Bob's, 1112 Dundas Street West, at Ossington Avenue. Line 505 to Ossington.

* Manchester United: O'Grady's Tap & Grill, 171 College Street, at McCaul Street. Line 1 to Queen's Park.

* West Ham United: The Dog & Bear, 1100 Queen Street West, at Dovercourt Road. Line 505 to Dundas.

* Newcastle United: The Office Pub, 117 John Street, at Adelaide Street. Line 301 or 501 to Queen Street West, or Line 304, 504 or 514 to King Street West. (Yeah, I know they were relegated, but I still have a listing for them.)

* Aston Villa: The Oxley Public House, 121 Yorkville Avenue, at Hazelton Avenue. Line 2 to Bay. (Yeah, I know they were relegated, but I still have a listing for them.)
* Celtic: McVeigh's, 124 Church Street, at Richmond Street. 301, 501 or 502 streetcar to Queen Street. Line 1 to St. Clair.

* Barcelona: Elephant & Castle, 212 King Street West, at Simcoe Street. Line 1 to St. Andrew.

* Bayern Munich: The Musket, 40 Advance Road, at Shawbridge Avenue. Line 2 to Kipling.

* Juventus: Toronto Azzurri Village, 4995 Keele Street, at Chimneystack Road. GO Transit Barrie Line to York University.

* If you don't see your club listed, your best best is Toronto's original soccer pub, the Duke of Gloucester, at 649 Yonge Street, at St. Mary Street. Line 1 to either Wellesley or Bloor-Yonge.


Sidelights. Being the largest and most influential city in Canada, Toronto is loaded with tourist traps. This has been spoofed in "The Toronto Song," a bit by the Edmonton-based comedy trio Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie. (It's often cited incorrectly including by myself in previous editions of this piece, as being by the Arrogant Worms. It’s not obvious that 3DTB are from Edmonton until the end of the song, by which point they've said everything in Ontario sucks, as do all the other Provinces, except, "Alberta doesn't suck – but Calgary does.")

They're not far off.  Toronto is much cleaner than most American cities: U.S. film crews, trying to save money by filming there, have had to throw garbage onto the streets so it would look more like New York, Boston, Chicago or Los Angeles, and then they have to do it again between takes, because the street-sweepers clean it up that quickly.  But the city does have slums, a serious homeless problem, ridiculous rents, never-ending lakefront high-rise construction (mirroring Mayor Mike Bloomberg’s similar projects in New York), and their share of metalheads, punks, Goths and chavs.

I wouldn't call now-long-parted Mayor David Miller a dork, as 3DTB did, although his predecessor, Mel Lastman, was often a Canadian version of Rudy Giuliani. With better hair. You may have heard about recent Mayor Rob Ford: He was a crook, an alcoholic and a crackhead, who was just barely able, through legal action, to keep his office. Alas, cancer prevented him from running for re-election, and he recently died. The current Mayor is John Tory, and his conservatism makes him aptly-named.

Torontonians can't quite decide whether they want to be Canada's New York (national media, culture and finance capital, home of the CBC and CTV, and Bay Street is their "Wall Street"), Canada's Chicago (a gritty blue-collar "drinking town with a sports problem"), or Canada's L.A. (movie-filming center.) Actually, Montreal is Canada's New York, Hamilton its Chicago, and Vancouver its L.A.

Toronto is... Toronto is something else. Scientists have yet to figure out what. But check out these locations:

* Hockey Hall of Fame, 30 Yonge Street, blocked by Yonge, Front, Bay and Wellington. If you go to Toronto and you don't go to the Hockey Hall of Fame, they should deport you from Canada and never let you back in. This place is great, and the actual Stanley Cup is there.
Well, 2 of them are, the original bowl that was so damaged that they replaced it in 1970, plus some of the bands with old-time winners on it, and a display copy. The one that gets awarded every year is also stored there in preparation for its annual awarding, then gets to go wherever the winning team’s players want to take it for almost a year.

You'll also see why Canadians call hockey jerseys "sweaters": They used to be sweaters, as you’ll see in the display cases. You'll also see why they're not sweaters anymore: Holes where they were eaten by moths. Hockey eventually got that right.

They also got the location for their Hall of Fame right: While it's not clear where hockey was invented, and the NHL was founded in Montreal, they put their Hall of Fame in an easily accessible city, unlike baseball (hard-to-reach Cooperstown, New York is not where baseball was invented), basketball (Springfield, Massachusetts is where it was invented, but it's a depressing town), and pro football (Canton, Ohio is where the NFL was founded, but it's so drab and bleak it makes Springfield look like Disney World… Sorry, Thurman Munson). Union Station stop on the TTC subway.

* Rogers Centre. Originally known as the SkyDome, for its retractable roof, and opening in June 1989, the building was renamed the Rogers Centre in 2005, for the new corporate owner of the Jays, Rogers Communications, founded by the late Ted Rogers and featuring several cable-TV networks, most notably Rogers Sportsnet (although TSN, The Sports Network, ESPN's Canada version, is the more popular).
The official address is 1 Blue Jays Way. The subway doesn't go to the dome. The closest stop is the one for Union Station. And the city's famed streetcars are no help, either. It's a great city for public transportation, unless you're going to Rogers Centre or the CN Tower, which are only the 2 biggest tourist attractions in the city, and right next-door to each other. (When SkyDome opened in 1989, somebody called them a sperm-and-egg pairing.) I'd say they're the 2 biggest tourist attractions in the Province of Ontario, or even the entire country, but, as I said, you'll have to pass Niagara Falls.

The stadium is, theoretically, just 3 blocks away from Union Station, down Front Street West: York, Simcoe, John. But it’s going to seem like a long walk. (Trust me, I've done it.) And Front Street West is perhaps the most touristy street in the entire country, much as Broadway in Midtown Manhattan is. Most likely, you'll be walking from Union Station along Front Street, or the Skywalk that connects the station to the CN Tower.
Rogers Centre hosted the Argos for 27 seasons, and has hosted 4 Grey Cups, the last in 2012, won by the Argos. Like the Super Bowl, the Grey Cup site is chosen years in advance as a neutral site, but having only 9 teams in the League, and thus 9 major stadiums in the country, makes the chance of a team getting a home game for the title not at all rare.


* Exhibition Place. The Canadian National Exhibition is kind of a nationwide "State Fair." It was on the grounds, off Princes Boulevard, that Exhibition Stadium, or the Big X, stood from 1948 to 1999. It was home to the Blue Jays from 1977 to 1989 and the CFL's Argonauts from 1959 to 1988. It hosted only one MLB postseason series, the 1985 ALCS, which the Jays lost to the Kansas City Royals.
It hosted 12 Grey Cups (Canadian Super Bowls), although only one featured the Argos, and that was the 1982 game, won by the Edmonton Eskimos in a freezing rain, with fans chanting, "We want a dome!" The SkyDome/Rogers Centre project soon began, and Exhibition Stadium never hosted another Grey Cup. Rogers Centre has now hosted 4, including the 100th, in November 2012, which the Argos won over the Calgary Stampeders. It hosted the Vanier Cup, the National Championship of Canadian college football, from 1973 to 1975.

* Varsity Stadium, 299 Bloor Street West and Devonshire Place. The home of the athletic complex of the University of Toronto, this is the 3rd stadium on the site, replacing one that stood from 1911 to 2002 and the one before that from 1898 to 1911. It only seats 5,000, but its predecessor could hold 21,739, and hosted more Grey Cups than any other facility, 29, from 1911 to 1957.

Unlike Exhibition Stadium, the Argos won 9 of their 16 Grey Cups at home at Varsity Stadium: 1914, 1921, 1937, 1938, 1945, 1946, 1947, 1950 and 1952. (They also won at Sarnia in 1933, Vancouver in 1983, Winnipeg in 1991, Hamilton in 1996, Edmonton in 1997 and Ottawa in 2004.)

Varsity Stadium hosted the Vanier Cup, the National Championship of Canadian college football, from its inaugural game in 1965 to 1972, and again from 1976 to 1988.

It was home to the various Toronto teams in the North American Soccer League, and was the location of the one and only visit to Canada thus far by North London soccer giants Arsenal, a 1-0 over a team called Toronto Select on May 23, 1973.

It hosted the 1969 Rock ‘n Roll Revival Concert, as shown in the film Sweet Toronto, featuring John Lennon and his Plastic Ono Band (of course, with Yoko Ono, but also with Eric Clapton), the Doors, Alice Cooper, and founding fathers of rock Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis and Gene Vincent. This was the concert where a live chicken was thrown at Cooper from the seats, and he threw it back, thinking it could fly, but it died.

Museum stop on the Yonge-University Line, or St. George stop on the Yonge-University or Bloor-Danforth Lines.

* Rosedale Park, Scholfield and Highland Avenues. This is where the first Grey Cup game was held, on December 4, 1909. The University of Toronto defeated the Toronto Parkdale Canoe Club, 26-6. There’s now a soccer field on the site of the original stadium.

Unfortunately, the closest subway stop is Summerhill, on the Yonge-University Line, and you’ll have to walk a roundabout path to get there. If you really want to see it, you may want to take a cab.

* Maple Leaf Gardens, 60 Carlton Street, at Church Street. Home of the NHL’s Toronto Maple Leafs from 1931 to 1999, this was arguably the most famous building in Canada. The Leafs won 11 Stanley Cups while playing here: 1932, 1942, 1945, 1947, 1948, 1949, 1951, 1962, 1963, 1964 and 1967 – and they haven’t been back to the Finals since.

The Gardens (always plural, never “The Garden” like in New York and Boston) also hosted the first NHL All-Star Game, a benefit for injured Leafs star Ace Bailey in 1934, one of the Canada-Soviet “Summit Series” games in 1972, and the first Canada Cup in 1976, where Leafs star Darryl Sittler stole the show.

On November 1, 1946 -- we're coming up on the 70th Anniversary -- the 1st NBA game was held at the Gardens, with the New York Knicks beating the Toronto Huskies, who folded after that first season of 1946-47. It hosted the Beatles on all 3 of their North American tours (1964, ’65 and ’66), and Elvis Presley in 1957 – oddly, in his early period, not in his Vegas-spectacle era.

But somebody who doesn't give a damn about history, only money, decided the Gardens was obsolete, and the Leafs moved into the Air Canada Centre in 1999.  A plan to turn the arena into a shopping mall and movie multiplex, as was done with the Montreal Forum, was dropped because of the way the building was built: Unlike the Forum, if the Gardens' upper deck of seats was removed, the walls would collapse.

Fortunately, it has been renovated, and is now part of the athletic complex of Ryerson University, including its hockey team, with its seating capacity reduced to 2,796 seats, down from its classic capacity which ranged from 12,473 in the beginning to 15,726 at the end, with a peak of 16,316 in the 1970s. So, while the old Madison Square Garden, the old Boston Garden, Chicago Stadium, and the Olympia are gone, and the Montreal Forum has been converted into a mall, one of the "Original Six" arenas is still standing and being used for hockey. It also has a Loblaws supermarket. College stop, on the Yonge-University Line.

* Mutual Street Arena, bounded by Mutual, Shuter, Dundas and Dalhousie Streets. This arena stood at this location from 1912 until 1989, when condos were built there, and was the home of the Toronto Blueshirts, National Hockey Association Champions and Stanley Cup winners 1914, and the Maple Leafs from 1917 to 1931.

The Leafs were known as the Toronto Arenas when they won the first NHL Championship and their first Stanley Cup in 1918, and the Toronto St. Patricks when the won the Cup in 1922. Conn Smythe renamed them the Maple Leafs, after the city’s minor-league baseball team, when he bought them in 1927. Queen or Dundas stops on the Yonge-University Line.

* Air Canada Centre, 40 Bay Street. "The Hangar," the home of the Maple Leafs and the NBA’s Toronto Raptors since 1999 (the Raptors played at the SkyDome 1995 to 1999, with a few games at Maple Leaf Gardens), it is a modern, 18,800-seat facility with all the amenities, built between Union Station and the Gardiner Expressway. Union Station stops on the Yonge-University Line and the GO and VIA Rail systems.

* Hanlan's Point. This was the home of Toronto baseball teams from 1897 to 1925, and was the site of Babe Ruth's 1st professional game, on April 22, 1914, for the Providence Grays, then affiliated with the Red Sox, much as their modern counterparts the Pawtucket Red Sox are. The Grays played the baseball version of the Maple Leafs, and the Babe pitched a one-hitter and homered in a 9-0 Providence win.
Unfortunately, Hanlan's Point is on one of the Toronto Islands, in Lake Ontario off downtown. The stadium is long gone, and the location is only reachable by Ferry.

* Maple Leaf Stadium, at Stadium Road (formerly an extension of Bathurst Street) and Queens Quay West (that's pronounced "Queen’s Key"). Home to the baseball Maple Leafs from 1926 to 1967, it was demolished a year later, with apartments built on the site.
The Leafs won 5 International League Pennants here, and it was the first sports team owned by Jack Kent Cooke, who would later own the NBA's Los Angeles Lakers, the NHL's Los Angeles Kings, and the NFL's Washington Redskins. Take the 509 Streetcar from Union Station to Queens Quay West at Dan Leckie Way.

* Fort York, Bathurst Street and Front Street West. You should see at least one place that doesn't have anything to do with sports. In the War of 1812, this place has become more interesting. In that war, the 2nd and last time the U.S. seriously tried to take Canada away from the British Empire, the U.S. Army, led by Zebulon Pike (for whom the Colorado Peak was named), burned the fort and what was then the city of York, now Toronto, on April 27, 1813. However, Pike was killed in the battle. In revenge, the British burned Washington, D.C. 

509 Streetcar to Fleet Street at Bastion Street. Essentially, Fort York is Canada’s Alamo. (But not their Gettysburg: That would be Lundy’s Lane, in Niagara Falls, and I recommend that you make time for that as well.)

* Royal Ontario Museum, 100 Queens Park at Bloor Street West. "The ROM" is at the northern edge of Queen's Park, which includes the Ontario provincial Parliament complex and the University of Toronto, and is, essentially, next-door to Varsity Stadium. It is Canada’s answer to New York's Museum of Natural History. Museum stop on the Yonge-University Line, or St. George stop on the Yonge-University or Bloor-Danforth Lines.

* CN Tower, 301 Front Street West at John Street. It rises 1,815 feet above the ground, but with only its central elevator shaft and its 1,122-foot-high observation deck habitable, the Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat (CTBUH) ruled that it was never a candidate for the title of "the world's tallest building." From 1975 until Burj Khalifa opened in Dubai in 2007, it was officially listed as "the world's tallest freestanding structure." The CN stood for Canadian National railways, but with their bankruptcy and takeover by VIA Rail, the CN now stands for Canada's National Tower.

Like the Empire State Building, at night it is lit in colors (or "colours") for special occasions, with its standard colors being the national colors, red and white. Admission is C$44.00 -- US$33.59, making it even more expensive than the Empire State Building's $27.00. It's next-door to the Rogers Centre and accessible via a skywalk from Union Station.

Toronto has quite a few very tall actual "buildings." First Canadian Place has been the nation's tallest building since it opened in 1975, 978 feet high, northwest corner of King & Bay Streets.  There are 7 other buildings in excess of 700 feet, including, sadly, one built by Donald Trump and named for himself.

Being outside the U.S., there are no Presidential Libraries in Canada.  The nation's Prime Ministers usually don't have that kind of equivalent building. Of Canada's 23 Prime Ministers, 15 are dead, but only one is buried in Toronto: William Lyon Mackenzie King, who led the government off and on from 1926 to 1950, longer than anyone, and is buried at Mount Pleasant Cemetery. 375 Mount Pleasant Road, Yonge Street Line to St. Clair, then 74 Bus.

There have been plenty of TV shows set in Toronto, but most Americans wouldn't know them, so I won't list their filming locations. Probably the most familiar, due to its being shown on PBS, is Degrassi Junior High and its related series. Recently, ABC aired the Toronto-based cop series Rookie Blue.

Because Toronto has a lot of surviving Art Deco structures from the 1920s and '30s, it's frequently used as a filming location for period-piece movies, including the movie version of Chicago (despite Chicago also having many such buildings survive). There were also several scenes from the U.S. version of Fever Pitch (which, being Yankee Fans, we consider to be a horror film) that were shot in Toronto. One is the scene of the barbecue in the park: In the background, a statue can be seen. It's Queen Victoria. I seriously doubt that there are any statues of British monarchs left in Boston.

*

Toronto is an international city, and they love their soccer. But it's also in Canada, and the famed politeness will, hopefully, balance out the passion. Have fun, but be respectful, and they will be as well.

Tonight, a team will be reborn: The Rams will play their 1st regular-season game as the Los Angeles Rams since Christmas Eve 1994.

And a rivalry will be reborn, as the Rams take on their historic (1946 to 1994) geographical arch-rivals, the San Francisco 49ers.

If you are a Seattle Seahawks fan, you may now think of the 49ers as your big rivals, but don't kid yourselves: They don't see you as theirs. They hate L.A. Ask any Bay Area baseball fan: Giants vs. Dodgers. Ask any Bay Area basketball fan: Warriors vs. Lakers. Ask any Bay Area hockey fan: Sharks vs. Kings.

Another old rivalry, done in by changing college football conferences, that got restarted this past weekend was the University of Pittsburgh vs. Pennsylvania State University. Despite a furious late Penn State comeback, Pitt held on to win, 42-39.

A lot of great old sports rivalries no longer exist. These are the best of them.

Honorable Mention: Rutgers vs. Princeton, College Football, 1869 to 1980. On November 6, 1869, in what was actually a 25-a-side soccer game, Rutgers and Princeton played what is officially recognized as "the first American football game." Rutgers won. They played again the next week, and Princeton won, and Rutgers has been underachieving and letting their fans down ever since.

Indeed, After "The First Game," Rutgers didn't beat Princeton again until the dedication game of Rutgers Stadium in 1938. From 1869 to 1937, RU was 0-33 vs. Princeton. From the standardization of the current scoring system in 1883, RU didn't even come within 9 points until 1937. From 1939 to 1967, Princeton led 17-6. It was only when Rutgers made its commitment to "big-time football" (which remained laughable long afterward) that they gained the edge: From 1968 to 1980, it was 9-3-1 Rutgers, including the last 5.

Princeton refused to leave the Ivy League and go "big-time," and refused to play Rutgers again. Despite the later success, Princeton still won the all-time series, 53-17-1. In other words, had they continued playing, Rutgers would still have had to win every game until this year, 2016, to catch up.

10. New York Rangers vs. New York Americans, Hockey, 1926 to 1942. The Amerks were actually New York City's 1st National Hockey League team, beginning play in the 1925-26 season. They were so successful at the gate (less so on the ice), that Madison Square Garden owner George "Tex" Rickard wanted to establish his own team, which, before he could officially name them, got nicknamed "Tex's Rangers."

The Rangers became the glamour team, with men showing up to games in tuxedos and women in gowns, as if it was a Broadway opening. The Amerks became the blue-collar team, the Dodgers to the Rangers' baseball Giants, the team of working men. They only met in the Playoffs twice, with the Rangers winning in 1929 and the Amerks winning on an overtime goal by Lorne Carr in 1938.

But that 1938 win put the Amerks in what was then called the Stanley Cup Semifinals, and, due to their finances, that was as close as they ever got. The Rangers, meanwhile, reached 6 Stanley Cup Finals, winning 3 of them, between 1928 and 1940. The draft of World War II decimated the Rangers, who wouldn't get back to the Finals until 1972, but it ruined the Americans, who folded after the 1941-42 season.

New York wouldn't get a 2nd NHL team until the Islanders arrived in 1972. And that rivalry would become even nastier than Rangers vs. Americans.

9. Maryland vs. Virginia, College Football, 1919 to 2013. Still a big rivalry in basketball, Maryland's move from the Atlantic Coast Conference to the Big Ten ended it for football. The implications of this one included the hearts and minds of fans of Washington, D.C. (in 1944 and '45, they met on neutral ground at D.C.'s Griffith Stadium), but also reflected the Civil War: Maryland was a Union State, Virginia a Confederate State. Maryland leads, 44-32-2, and it wouldn't surprise me to see this one started again.
8. The University of Cincinnati vs. the University of Louisville, College Football, 1929 to 2013. Although still a rivalry in basketball, the football rivalry, for a trophy known as the Keg of Nails, is no longer played. Cincinnati, the bigger school in football, leads 30-22-1.

7. Boston Celtics vs. Philadelphia Warriors, Pro Basketball, 1946 to 1962. Boston vs. Philadelphia has been an NBA rivalry since Day One, and reflects the rivalry of the 2 great colonial cities of America. In the last 3 years of the rivalry, it was led by Bill Russell of the Celtics and Wilt Chamberlain of the Warriors. The Warriors won the 1947 and 1956 NBA titles, but the Celtics won in 1957, '59, '60, '61 and '62.

The Warriors were moved to San Francisco, and, in 1963, the Syracuse Nationals became the Philadelphia 76ers, and the rivalry was rekindled. The Celtics kept on winning: 1963, '64, '65, '66, '68 and '69, while the Sixers won in 1967. Since then, the 76ers have only won in 1983, while the Celtics have added 1974, '76, '81, '84, '86 and 2008.

6. New York Yankees vs. Philadelphia Athletics, Baseball, 1901 to 1954. This one really didn't get going until 1927, because, until then, it was rare for both teams to be good at the same time. From 1927 to 1932, one of these teams won the American League Pennant every year, and so many of the greatest players in the game's history were involved.

Once the Great Depression forced A's manager/part-owner Connie Mack to sell off his stars, the A's weren't good again until the early 1970s, and that was 2 cities later (Kansas City, 1955-67, and then Oakland). Some have attributed the A's move to Kansas City to Yankee ownership. I'm not exonerating anybody, but the real fault for the failure of the A's in Philadelphia lies with the Mack family: Old man Connie refusing to give up control, and his sons waiting too long to force it, and then running the team incompetently.

5. Michigan vs. Notre Dame, College Football, 1887 to 2014. We're talking about 2 schools that both think they're the defining program of college football. Despite the long range of time, it's only been played 42 times, with Michigan leading 24-17-1. Indeed, except for 1942 and '43, it wasn't played at all between 1909 and 1978.

Oddly, the most famous game between these 2 powers never happened: In 2000, an episode of The West Wing, "The Portland Trip," featured the President of the United States, a Notre Dame grad, and his White House Chief of Staff, a Michigan man, having fun arguing over the game to be played the next day. The entire episode took place that night, so we never got to hear the result. And, in real life, the teams did not play each other that year.

In 2012, Notre Dame said it was exercising its option to stop the rivalry after the 2014 season. Brady Hoke, then the head coach at Michigan, said Notre Dame was "chickening out." Michigan beat Notre Dame in Ann Arbor in 2013, and the Michigan Stadium sound-effects guy played "The Chicken Dance." But the next year, the last meeting thus far, Notre Dame won 31-0 in South Bend.

4. Kansas vs. Missouri, College Football, 1891 to 2011. This was the 1st college football rivalry west of the Mississippi River, and there is real history behind it, not just sports history. Real history. Really bloody history. They didn't call the Jayhawk State "Bleeding Kansas" for nothing.

In the years immediately before, during, and even for a little while after the American Civil War, there was some deadly serious fighting. Kansas was a free State, Missouri a slave State, although it never joined the Confederacy. Confederate sympathizers from Missouri would cross over and wreak havoc in Kansas, including in Lawrence. On May 21, 1856, "the Sacking of Lawrence" occurred. On August 21, 1863, William Quantrill lead Quantrill's Raiders (including a young pair of brothers named Frank and Jesse James) in a massacre, killing 164 people, all civilians. The University of Kansas was founded in Lawrence on March 21, 1865.

The football rivalry between Kansas and Missouri (the University was founded in 1839) became known as the Border War, and, perhaps appropriately, was first played on October 31, 1891 -- Halloween. The winner receives the Indian War Drum, also known as the Osage War Drum. The rivalry was so nasty that it sometimes had to be played on neutral ground in Kansas City -- in Missouri's State, but considerably closer to Kansas' campus. It was played in Kansas City from 1891 to 1906, again from 1908 to 1910 (in St. Joseph, Missouri in 1907), in 1944 and '45 (probably due to wartime travel restrictions), and at Arrowhead Stadium from 2007 to 2011.

Missouri's move to from the Big 12 to the Southeastern Conference put an end to it, at least for football. There is a dispute as to the record, as the 1960 game was forfeited to Kansas by the league then known as the Big Eight because Missouri used an ineligible player. According to Missouri, they lead 57-54-9. According to everybody else (including the Big 12 and the NCAA), Missouri leads 56-55-9 -- meaning a restart and a Kansas win in the next game would tie the series at 56-all.

3. Montreal Canadiens vs. Quebec Nordiques, Hockey, 1979 to 1995. This rivalry didn't last long, but it started largely because, when the World Hockey Association was founded in 1972, the Nords took on as many former Habs players as they could, even making their all-time legend, Maurice "Rocket" Richard, their 1st head coach. (He quit after 2 games.)

When the NHL absorbed the Nords and 3 other WHA teams in 1979, the Provincial government, led by Premier Rene Levesque, was setting up the 1st sovereignty referendum, which failed. But the battle between the all-Francophone Quebec City, the Provincial capital, and the mixed-language Montreal, the far bigger and (governing aside) more influential city, got intense.

Ironically, in the 1920s and '30s, it was the Montreal Maroons who were seen as Montreal's Anglophone and white-collar team, and the Canadiens who were the Francophone and blue-collar team. Despite having won 2 Stanley Cups, in 1926 and 1935, the Depression knocked the Maroons out in 1938.

The Playoff matchups between the Habs and the Nords were rough, both on the ice and in the stands, and it began to resemble hooligan rucks in European soccer. In 1984, a Playoff game at the Montreal Forum had a long fight that became known as the Good Friday Massacre (or La Bataille du Vendredi Saint).

The Nords never reached the Stanley Cup Finals, and for the 1995-96 season, they were moved to Denver to become the Colorado Avalanche -- and only then did they trade for Quebec City native Patrick Roy, the great goaltender who had backstopped 2 Canadiens Cup wins, and then win the Cup. The Habs haven't won the Cup since 1993 (it's called the Curse of Saint Patrick, although Roy is no saint), and Quebec City has a new arena and is actively trying to get an expansion team or a moved team. This rivalry may be reborn in the next few years.

2. Texas vs. Texas A&M, College Football, 1894 to 2011. This game was usually played on Thanksgiving weekend, occasionally on Thanksgiving Day, and always televised nationally. If, as has been suggested, football is a religion in Texas, then this game was a holy war. (Both the annual game between in-State rivals the University of Utah and Brigham Young University and the not-annual game between Catholic schools Notre Dame and Boston College are nicknamed "The Holy War.")

There is also a political angle. Located in the State capital of Austin, UT is seen as a liberal bastion in an otherwise very conservative State. Located in College Station -- if Texas has a "heart," like the song says, that may well be it -- the very conservative school, whose "A&M" stands for "Agricultural and Military," unlike most A&Ms that are "Agricultural and Mechanical," views UT as a bunch of "tea-sippin' liberals," or "tea-sips" for short. Longhorn fans simply view the Aggies as backward rednecks.

Like Missouri, A&M moved from the Big 12 to the Southeastern Conference, ending the football extension of this rivalry. The Longhorns have an overwhelming lead, 76-37-5.

1. Brooklyn Dodgers vs. New York Giants, Baseball, 1889 to 1957. The fact that this rivalry was moved to California and kept going, and is still going, doesn't change the fact that it was bigger in New York than it has ever been on the West Coast.

If you doubt this, note that the most-talked-about game in the history of baseball -- not New York baseball, but in the entire history of the sport, going back to the 1840s -- is the final game of the 1951 best-2-out-of-3 Playoff for the National League Pennant, the Bobby Thomson Game, in which the Giants completed their comeback from 13 1/2 games behind the Dodgers on August 11 to win the Pennant in the last inning on October 3. That was 65 years ago, and both teams have been gone for 59 years, but people still talk about it.

The Giants won 17 Pennants and 5 World Series before moving to California; the Dodgers, 13 Pennants and the 1955 World Series. Each had some legendary close calls.

And their fans divided the Tri-State Area, divided the City, divided neighborhoods, divided workplaces, sometimes even divided families. It's the only rivalry in the history of Major League Baseball where there were 2 teams from the same League in the same city. Yankees vs. Mets since 1962? Dodgers vs. Angels since 1961? Giants vs. A's since 1968? Cubs vs. White Sox since 1901? Only possible with Interleague Play since 1997, unless they played each other in the World Series. (Cubs-White Sox in 1906, Giants-A's in 1989, Yanks-Mets in 2000, Dodgers-Angels has still never happened in October.)

But the Giants and Dodgers faced each other 22 times a year for over half a century. Twenty-two chances to cheer your boys and boo the enemy. And every day was a chance to talk about it with people who knew the rivalry as well as you did.

The rivalry now lives in California, but a separation of 379 miles simply isn't the same as one of only 13 miles.

On May 12, 2011, I did "The Top 10 Major League Sports Teams Likeliest to Move." Things have changed, and the article requires an update.

At #7, I had the Buffalo Bills. The change of ownership has let to a re-commitment to staying in Western New York. There are currently 4 sites being bandied about: Downtown near the First Niagara Center (the Sabres' arena), Lackawanna, West Seneca and Batavia. The Lackawanna site and the West Seneca site (slightly) would be closer to downtown than their current stadium. Batavia would be 43 miles away, about as far as the new 49ers stadium is from downtown an Francisco, so that probably wouldn't be a good idea. But it now looks like the Bills are staying put.

At #6, I had the New York Islanders. They have since signed a lease to begin play at the Barclays Center in downtown Brooklyn in the 2015-16 season, after their lease at the Nassau Coliseum runs out. So they're finally secure for the long term. And, while it's not in either Nassau or Suffolk County, geologically speaking, Brooklyn (like Queens) is on "Long Island."

At #3, I had the Phoenix Coyotes. They have since been renamed the Arizona Coyotes, and had their ownership situation straightened out, and their finances are in the process of following. They will remain at their current arena in the Phoenix suburb of Glendale for the time being. The fact that Gary Bettman is still NHL Commissioner and is still committed to the Sun Belt does help: With the Atlanta Thrashers moving to become the new Winnipeg Jets, he's not going to let a team move to Quebec City or Hamilton, or even Hartford. Maybe Seattle.

At #1, I had the Sacramento Kings, who came thisclose to moving to Anaheim in 2013, and to Seattle in 2014. Now, they have a new arena that will open in time for the 2016-17 season.

Oddly, I did not have the St. Louis Rams, who just moved back to Los Angeles, who played their 1st game under their old/new name last night, and will play their 1st home game in L.A. since Christmas Eve 1994 this coming Sunday. At the time, over 5 years ago, hardly anybody saw that coming.

With things as they currently stand, it's considerably easier to move an indoor team (NBA or NHL) than an outdoor team (MLB or NFL). This is because it's take a lot more time and a lot more money to build a 40,000-or-more-seat stadium than it does to build a 20,000-or-less-seat arena, even after all the political hurdles have been cleared.

Note that by "likely to move," I'm saying that they could do so within 5 years -- in other words, by the time the baseball season of 2021 comes to an end, or the football, basketball or hockey seasons of 2021-22 begin, the team will have moved from one metropolitan area to another.

But this list does not include teams that are attempting to move within a metropolitan area, as has every New York Tri-State Area team except the Knicks and Rangers since 2007; as the Atlanta Braves are moving from downtown Atlanta to suburban Cobb County for the 2017 season, and as the Golden State Warriors are moving from Oakland to downtown San Francisco for the 2019-20 season.

Top 10 Major League Sports Teams Likeliest to Move

10. Miami Marlins, MLB. Not on this list in 2011, because a new stadium was being built that opened in 2012. On the other hand, they're owned by Jeffrey Loria, who caused the Montreal Expos to be moved to become the Washington Nationals.

Reasons why Loria might move, after getting all that taxpayer support for his new stadium? The stadium is lousy: It's not one of those 1990s-2000s "retro ballparks" that looks like an old-time stadium, it's a garish retractable-roof stadium that looks proper in Miami, but would look stupid almost anywhere else. The location is bad: Built on the site of the Orange Bowl, it's in a dodgy area west of downtown. And South Florida has never proven it would support even a winning baseball team: While the Dolphins' stadium was packed 67,000 strong for the postseason in 1997 and 2003, the Fish's regular-season attendance has never been notable.

One big problem with moving an MLB team: There's nowhere to go. The only city with an MLB-ready stadium and no team in it is Montreal, and Loria would never go back there, nor would be welcomed back. New Orleans has the Superdome, but its post-Katrina renovation eliminated its capability to host baseball. Charlotte just blew their chances with their new downtown ballpark, which seats only 10,200 for their Triple-A team and is not expandable. None of the other serious candidates -- Norfolk-Virginia Beach, Raleigh-Durham, Nashville, Memphis, Indianapolis, Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, Sacramento, Portland -- even comes close to having even a good temporary stadium ready.

Essentially, a city would have to build two ballparks: Enough addition to a current stadium to amount to an entirely new stadium, as a stopgap measure, and then another stadium from scratch. Even with the 2007-11 recession in the rearview mirror, that simply isn't practical. So unless a team owner wants to move to Montreal (and Loria sure doesn't), that makes it unlikely that an MLB team would move at all.

9. Florida Panthers, NHL. Not on this list in 2011. The problem isn't the arena itself: It opened in 1999, is in good shape, and has the luxury boxes. The location is an issue: It's 37 miles northwest of downtown Miami, and 13 miles west of downtown Fort Lauderdale. And if you don't have a car, forget it: It takes 4 conveyances and 2 and a half hours to reach it by public transit from the former, 2 buses and an hour and 10 minutes from the latter. If they thought it was being built at or near South Florida's population center, boy, did they guess wrong.

The Panthers were 25th in NHL attendance last season, and 26th in percentage of capacity filled. The idea that "All those old people who used to live in warm-weather cities will come to watch their new team play their old team" works even worse in Sunrise, Florida than does "All those people working for the federal government in Washington will watch the Nationals/Wizards/Capitals play their hometown teams." While the "Hockey can't survive in Florida" argument is being smashed in Tampa, it's very solid in South Florida.

With the Panthers having played exactly 13 Playoff games in the last 16 years, they won't be missed. And with Seattle wanting an NHL team very badly, and new arenas having recently gone up in Quebec City and Kansas City (the one in Las Vegas having already gotten an expansion team), the Panthers' moving is very possible. One bit of good news for the fans they do have: There has not yet been a serious rumor about them moving. Ownership may not have looked into it; or, if they have, they may not have contacted any other cities.

8. Minnesota Timberwolves, NBA. Not on this list in 2011. Minneapolis already lost the NBA's Lakers in 1960, and the ABA's Muskies in 1968 and Pipers (who had been in Pittsburgh the season before) in 1969. The T-Wolves nearly moved to New Orleans in 1994, but the NBA owners blocked the move. The Twin Cities have about 3.8 million people, and among cities with teams in all the Big Four sports, only Denver has fewer. It simply can't support 4 teams.

And with both the Twins and the Vikings having gotten new stadiums, the Wild being enormously popular in their new arena, and the T-Wolves playing unsuccessful ball (only 1 trip to the Conference Finals in their 27 seasons) before sparse crowds, in an arena that went up before the sports-venue design revolution inspired by Baltimore's Camden Yards, this makes the T-Wolves the odd team out.

Seattle wants a replacement for the SuperSonics, who were moved to become the Oklahoma City Thunder in 2008. Kansas City has a new arena. Either one is a possibility for an NBA team looking to move. Other possibilities are unlikely: Some don't have a new arena or a plan for one (like Cincinnati), others don't have a big enough population base (Cincinnati again, also Pittsburgh and Columbus). And while Vancouver has both, they didn't put up a fight when the Grizzlies were moved to Memphis in 2001.

7. New Orleans Pelicans, NBA. Not on this list in 2011. The arena opened in 2002, so that's not the problem. The problem is the population base: Having given the Hornets name back to Charlotte, they're in a small market that got a lot smaller after Hurricane Katrina. The city can really only support 1 team, and, after the way the Saints helped bring the city back, they're not giving up on the Saints. The Pels have great support among the people who show up, but there simply aren't enough of them.

6. Memphis Grizzlies, NBA. #9 in 2011. Although they've won 4 Playoff series in the last 5 seasons, and the FedEx Forum is a relatively new arena (2004), the Memphis area was hit really hard by the Bush Recession, and then by the 2011 Mississippi River flooding).

There's a reason the NFL and NHL both put teams in Nashville rather than Memphis (though the Oilers/Titans did play one season in Memphis while the Nashville stadium was being built), and why Memphis has never been seriously considered for an MLB team. It's actually a 2-pronged reason: Not enough people, and not enough money among those people.

The Memphis metropolitan area has only got about 1.4 million people, which ranks them 30th and dead last in the NBA, and would rank them last in MLB and the NFL, too. (Don't even think about putting an NHL team in Memphis: Even if Elvis Presley himself were actually still alive and involved, they couldn't sell that sport in that city.)

Indeed, Memphis has the smallest population of any U.S. city with a major league team in any sport. (Canadian cities Ottawa, Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg, and, should it get a replacement NHL team, Quebec City have fewer.) And, socked in the southwestern corner of Tennessee, bordering both Mississippi (to the south) and Arkansas (to the west), 2 of the poorest States in the country, they really can't support a major league team.

5. Jacksonville Jaguars, NFL. #8 in 2011. Although it has the highest population of any city in the State of Florida, Jacksonville has the smallest metropolitan area of any city in the NFL. When I first did this in 2011, the Jags were the 1 team out of the 32 that had, over the last couple of seasons, regularly had trouble filling its stadium. They are no longer the only one.

The Rams (and possibly also the Chargers) moving back to Los Angeles, and the Raiders' rumored move to Las Vegas, cuts down on the possibilities. And if the Raiders do move, the Jags aren't taking their place in Oakland. (Nor is any other team.) They might become the 2nd team in L.A. They might go to St. Louis, if a plan to replace the Edward Jones Dome gets approved (allowing them to, as the Rams did at Busch Memorial Stadium until the Dome opened, use the Dome as a stopgap facility).

The Citrus Bowl in Orlando has been renovated, and when Orlando City moves to their soccer-specific stadium next Spring, there will be a vacancy there. If San Antonio can renovate or replace the Alamodome, they also become a possibility. (The Saints played "home games" there after Katrina flooded the Superdome.) Sacramento doesn't yet have a stadium, but they've been talking about building one.

4. Tampa Bay Rays, MLB. #5 in 2011. The Rays are no longer challenging for the American League Eastern Division title. Their per-game attendance is exceeded by NBA, NHL, and even some MLS teams. It wasn't even good when the team was. If local fans aren't willing to support a good team in a bad stadium in a bad location (in St. Petersburg, and not exactly downtown St. Pete, either), why would they support a bad team in a good stadium in a good location (say, in or close to downtown Tampa)?

The Tampa Bay region has nearly 2.8 million people, more than the metropolitan areas of MLB cities Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Kansas City, Cincinnati and Milwaukee, and not much less than St. Louis. But if you take into account the retirees and their fixed incomes that often keep them away from the ballpark, the area simply doesn't have enough people support a major league team 81 times a season. Team owner Stuart Sternberg has already looked into moving to Montreal, and has already said that he'll sell the team if he can't get a new stadium.

Never mind how stupid a stadium Tropicana Field is: Tampa Bay should never have been granted an MLB franchise, and there's already murmurs about moving up Interstate 4 to Orlando. Or maybe they'll become the new Montreal Expos. After all, as weird as it is, the Olympic Stadium up there is a better place to watch baseball (or anything else) than The Trop, where the lease runs out after the 2018 season.

3. Oakland Athletics, MLB. #2 in 2011. No franchise in all of major league sports has had to face the question of moving more. After the 1954 season, they were moved from Philadelphia to Kansas City. When Charlie Finley bought them in 1960, he explored moving them to Miami, Louisville, Dallas and Denver, before moving them to Oakland. But he wasn't satisfied, and in the 1977-78 off-season, he reached an agreement with Marvin Davis, the oil baron who was supposedly the basis for the character of Blake Carrington on Dynasty, to move the team to Denver. But that deal fell through, and a year later, he came close to moving the team to New Orleans. That didn't work out, either, and he made one more attempt to sell the A's to Davis and Denver, before finally selling out to Walter Haas.

The A's current owner, Lew Wolff, wants out of the Oakland Coliseum, and it's hard to blame him: Although it was once a great place to watch a baseball game, the construction of the football bleachers needed to lure the Raiders back (nicknamed Mount Davis after Al), ruined a good facility. Even without that, the Mausoleum is aging, and the A's have tried to work out deals to build a new stadium at the Coliseum site, and in neighboring Fremont.

Wolff said he had an agreement with nearby San Jose to build a new stadium there, but the San Francisco Giants have territorial veto rights; Horace Stoneham didn't object when Finley arrived 17 miles away in 1968, but current Giants owner Larry Baer refuses to give the South Bay up now. A 2015 U.S. Supreme Court ruling seemed to put a permanent kibosh on the deal, at least in that form.

Despite the current plan, which is to try to get a stadium in the Port of Oakland area, the A's may not be long for the East Bay, or any other part of the Bay Area.

2. San Diego Chargers, NFL. #4 in 2011. The MLB Padres managed to get out of Qualcomm Stadium, north of downtown in Mission Valley, and into the downtown Petco Park. But the Chargers have been unable to get a new stadium built, and they were rumored to be going back up Interstate 5 to the far larger Los Angeles well before the movement to bring the Rams back got any momentum.

Now that a deal for a new stadium is in place in Inglewood, the talk of the Rams groundsharing with either the Chargers or the Raiders has gotten bigger. The fact that the Raiders are now making overtures to Las Vegas increases the Chargers' chances of being the 2nd L.A. team. (Or, given how the Rams bombed against the San Francisco 49ers last night, maybe the 1st!)

When a deal to move to L.A. for this season turned out not to be all that close, Chargers owner Alex Spanos made a public commitment to San Diego -- but only for the 2016 season. If you think the Chargers will still be playing in San Diego when what's currently named City of Champions Stadium opens in Inglewood in September 2019, then you've got more faith in both Spanos and the city government of San Diego than I do. The Bolts are still likely to, well, bolt.

1. Oakland Raiders, NFL. In 2011, I had them only at #10, but wrote, "They've done it before, from Oakland to Los Angeles in 1982 and back to Oakland in 1995. As long as Al Davis is still alive and running the team, you never know."

Indeed, in 1987, only 5 years after moving into the L.A. Coliseum, Al was talking to the city of Irwindale, 20 miles east of downtown L.A., about building a stadium there. (For comparison's sake: The Coliseum is 4 miles southwest, the Inglewood sites of the Forum and the stadium now under construction for the Rams is 10 miles southwest, the Rose Bowl is 10 miles north, UCLA's Pauley Pavilion is 12 miles west, and Anaheim is 28 miles southeast.) So, in 2011, putting the Raiders on the list, if not particularly high on it, made quite a bit of sense.

Well, Al died a few months later, and his son Mark now runs the team. He is already making plans to move the team to Las Vegas, and has even made legal moves to own the name "Las Vegas Raiders" every which way. Nevada is known as the Silver State, and he has publicly said he wants to make it "the Silver & Black State."

Since we know the Warriors are moving back across the Bay, and the A's may also not be long for Oakland, it may be that the East Bay, which once had teams in all of the big 4 sports (the A's, the Raiders, the Warriors and the California Golden Seals from April 1968 to April 1976), will have none by the time the Warriors' Chase Center opens in October 2019.

This past Saturday, the Yankees made it 7 straight wins, 4 games behind the Boston Red Sox for the American League Eastern Division lead, and tied with the Baltimore Orioles for the 2nd AL Wild Card slot.

Playing the last-place Tampa Bay Rays at Yankee Stadium II, they got another great performance from Masahiro Tanaka: 7 1/3rd innings, 1 run, 5 hits, no walks, 10 strikeouts. The game was scoreless until the 6th inning, when home runs by Jacoby Ellsbury (his 8th) and rookie phenom Gary Sanchez (his 13th), put 3 runs on the board.

Yankees 5, Rays 1. WP: Tanaka (13-4). No save. LP: Chris Archer (8-18, although he's pitched better than that for a bad team this year, and doesn't deserve to become a 20-game loser, as now seems likely).

*

But on Sunday, the Yankees' momentum came to a screeching halt. Luis Cessa started, and was shaky, not getting out of the 6th inning. Luis Severino, Tommy Layne and Blake Parker pitched 3 1/3rd scoreless innings out of the pen, but, aside from a Chase Headley home run (his 15th) in the 5th, the Yankees couldn't touch the Rays' 4 pitchers.

Rays 4, Yankees 2. WP: Matt Andariese (7-7). SV: Alex Colome (32). LP: Cessa (4-1).

*

Yesterday, the Los Angeles Dodgers came to town. Due to the Interleague Play schedule, this was the 1st time in 3 years that the Bronx Bombers had faced the former Brooklyn Bums. And their manager is no longer former Yankee "legend" Don Mattingly (who now manages the Miami Marlins), but Dave Roberts -- the man whose pinch-run stolen base turned the 2004 AL Championship Series around, and allowed the cheating Roid Sox to go on the postseason run of all time.

There were fans chanting, "Let's go, Dodgers!" at Yankee Stadium. I'll bet you any money you like, none of them were from Brooklyn. To paraphrase the line from The Sandlot, Heroes get remembered, but grudges never die!

(What, you thought I was gonna say, "Yer killin' me, Smalls"?)

Bryan Mitchell, who had been so good in his last start, got pounded: He allowed 6 runs, although he was betrayed by his defense, as only 2 of those runs were earned; and didn't get out of the 3rd inning.

Starlin Castro (his 21st) and Aaron Judge (his 4th) hit solo home runs, but that was all that starter Jose De Leon gave up in 5 innings, and 4 relievers allowed only 3 baserunners the rest of the way.

Alex Rodriguez did nothing last night... Sorry, force of habit. Of course, he did nothing: He's retired.

Dodgers 8, Yankees 2. WP: De Leon (2-0). No save. LP: Mitchell (1-1).

*

So here's where we stand, going into tonight's action: The Yankees trail the Red Sox by 5 games for the Division, and the Orioles by 2 games for the 2nd Wild Card slot.

There are 19 games left:

* Tonight and tomorrow afternoon, at home against the Dodgers. CC Sabathia pitches against Julio Urias (at 20, the youngest player in the majors) tonight, and tomorrow at 4:05, Michael Pineda goes against Clayton Kershaw, who might be the best pitcher in baseball when healthy but is now coming off the Disabled List. Maybe we can get a split of those 2.

* Thursday through Saturday, away to the Red Sox. A repeat of the 1978 4-game series at Fenway Park known as the Boston Massacre may be too much to ask for, but if we take 3 out of 4 from The Scum, it will blow the AL East race wide open. From this series onward, starting pitchers have not yet been projected.

* The following Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, away to the Rays. We should be able to take 2 out of those 3.

* The following Friday through Monday, away to the Toronto Blue Jays. If we could sweep them 3 straight in Toronto just a few days ago, 3 out of 4 in this series isn't too much to ask for.

* The following Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, home to the Sox. Should be able to take 2 out of 3.

* And the final series of the regular season, home to the Baltimore Orioles. Another 2 out of 3 is called for.

We can take 14 out of 18? If we can do that, winning the Division is still possible. Even if we only take 11 out of 18, the Playoffs should be possible.

Come on you Pinstripes! #ChaseFor28

This Sunday, the restored Los Angeles Rams will host the Seattle Seahawks at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. It will be their 1st game in the L.A. area since they moved to St. Louis after the 1994 season, having moved back after 21 seasons.

In their last game in the L.A. area, on Christmas Eve, December 24, 1994, they lost to the Washington Redskins, 24-21 at Anaheim Stadium, and finished 4-12. Only 25,705 came out, the smallest crowd in Rams' history, aside from their 1 home game during the "scab games" of the 1987 strike.

On the same day, the Raiders lost to the Kansas City Chiefs, 19-9 at the Coliseum. Their attendance was much better: 64,130. They soon moved back to their original hometown, Oakland.

The last big crowd in L.A. football history was on November 13, when the Rams played the Raiders at Anaheim: 65,208. The Raiders won, 20-17. The L.A. edition of the Raiders finished 4-1 against the Rams.

Why did they move? Both teams were upset with their leases. There were also secondary excuses. The L.A. Coliseum was built in 1923, didn't have modern amenities, was damaged in the Northridge Earthquake at the beginning of 1994, and is on the edge of the South Central ghetto. Anaheim Stadium was a baseball stadium that had football bleachers added, and as a result wasn't really all that good for either sport. It's also 28 miles from downtown L.A., nearly 3 times as far as the Coliseum. And the only other stadiums in the L.A. area that were large enough were Dodger Stadium (designed for baseball, no pro football team has ever called it home) and the Rose Bowl in Pasadena (a few months older than the Coliseum, and not really suitable for NFL games, which is why it hosted 5 Super Bowls, but none since 1993).

The Rams' last previous game at the Coliseum was on December 16, 1979, a 29-14 loss to the New Orleans Saints, in front of 53,879. They actually got to the Super Bowl, but, while their 9-7 record was good enough to win the NFC Western Division, it meant that they had to go on the road for their Playoff games. They went to Irving, Texas and beat the Dallas Cowboys, then to Tampa and beat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Ironically, they became the 1st team ever to have a Super Bowl "at home," as Super Bowl XIV was scheduled for the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. But they lost it to the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Both teams underachieved in Los Angeles. In 49 years, the Rams made the NFL or NFC Playoffs 21 times, but none in their last 5 seasons; won the NFL or NFC Western Division 14 times, but none in their last 9 seasons; reached the NFL Championship Game only 5 times (the last in Super Bowl XIV, in the 1979-80 season, their last at the Coliseum before moving to Anaheim), and won only 1 NFL Championship, in 1951. In 13 seasons in L.A., the Raiders made the Playoffs 7 times, won the AFC West 4 times, and reached Super Bowl XVIII, winning it.

But in nearly half a century, despite their huge population base, all the money in Southern California that could have been spent on the teams, all the media attention, and all the potential for success -- including having 2 teams for the last 13 seasons -- Los Angeles has only ever won the NFL Championship twice, in the 1951 and 1983 seasons. Just the 1 in the last 64 years (44 seasons). Judging by the 28-0 egg they laid against their restored arch-rivals, the San Francisco 49ers, on their Monday Night Football-set return last night, the Rams aren't going to be adding another this season.

There hasn't been a regular-season National Football League game played in, or around, the City of Los Angeles since December 24, 1994. When they kick off on Sunday, it will have been 21 years, 8 months and 25 days. How long has that been?

*

Since the Rams and Raiders skedaddled, the Cleveland Browns have become the Baltimore Ravens and been replaced, the Houston Oilers have become the Tennessee Titans, the Houston Texans have been established to replace the Oilers, and the Carolina Panthers and Jacksonville Jaguars have also been established.

In other sports, the Montreal Expos have become the Washington Nationals, the Vancouver Grizzlies have been established and become the Memphis Grizzlies, the Charlotte Hornets have become the New Orleans Hornets and the New Orleans Pelicans, the Charlotte Bobcats have been established and become the new Charlotte Hornets, the Seattle SuperSonics have become the Oklahoma City Thunder, the Quebec Nordiques have become the Colorado Avalanche, the Winnipeg Jets have become the Phoenix Coyotes and now the Arizona Coyotes, the Hartford Whalers have become the Carolina Hurricanes, the Atlanta Thrashers have been established and become the new Winnipeg Jets, and the Tampa Bay Rays, Arizona Diamondbacks, Toronto Raptors, Nashville Predators, Minnesota Wild, Columbus Blue Jackets, and the as-yet-unnamed Las Vegas NHL team have been established.

The Denver Broncos, the New England Patriots, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Seattle Seahawks, the New Orleans Saints, the Colts since moving to Indianapolis, had never won a Super Bowl. The Rams had won an NFL Championship, but not in the Super Bowl era. The Buccaneers, the Oilers/Titans, the Browns/Ravens, the Panthers, the Seahawks, the Saints, the Colts since moving to Indy, the San Diego Chargers, the Atlanta Falcons, the Arizona Cardinals had never been in one. All those facts have since changed.

Only 9 NFL stadiums in use in 1994 are in use in 2016: The L.A. Coliseum, the Oakland Coliseum, Lambeau Field in Green Bay, New Era Field (then Rich Stadium) outside Buffalo, Hard Rock Stadium (then Joe Robbie Stadium) outside Miami, Qualcomm Stadium (then Jack Murphy Stadium) in San Diego, the Superdome in New Orleans, Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, and the Georgia Dome in Atlanta. Next year, when the Falcons move into Mercedes-Benz Stadium, the number will drop to 8.

The defining players of my childhood were all gone, as Joe Montana had just played his last game. The current holder of the Heisman Trophy, Derrick Henry of the University of Alabama, now with the Tennessee Titans, was 5 months old.

The Rams' coach at the time was Chuck Knox. He was fired after the season, and, despite being a 3-time Coach of the Year, has never worked in the NFL again. He is still alive, at the age of 83.

With all the fuss over the Royals' 1st World Championship in 30 years last October, it's easy to forget that Kansas City is, first and foremost, a football city. And on Sunday, September 25, the Jets will visit to play the Chiefs.

The Jets and the Chiefs have a special relationship: They are the flagship and founding franchises, respectively, of the American Football League -- and the only AFL franchises to beat an NFL Champion in a Super Bowl.

Indeed, it has been argued (and I would agree) that the Kansas City Chiefs' defeat of the Minnesota Vikings in Super Bowl IV was more important than the New York Jets' win over the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III, because it proved that the shocking win of the AFL Champs the year before was not a fluke.

You see, the reason the Colts were favored so heavily over the Jets is that people presumed the NFL was so far ahead of the AFL, based in part on the NFL's lopsided wins in Super Bowls I and II. But that glosses over a very important fact: Those Super Bowls were won by Vince Lombardi's Green Bay Packers, over first the Chiefs and then the Oakland Raiders. Those Packers are on the short list for the title of Greatest Team in NFL History.

Had the Dallas Cowboys, the team the Packers beat in the 1966 and 1967 NFL Championship Games, won instead, Cowboys vs. Chiefs and Cowboys vs. Raiders would have been much more competitive games. Then, while the Colts might still have been favored over the Jets and the Vikings over the Chiefs, the spreads wouldn't have been huge. Let's not forget, also, that, despite the Jets' win, the Vikings were favored to beat the Chiefs, even though nearly everyone on that Chief roster was in Super Bowl I, and many had been in the 1962 AFL Championship Game, the franchise's last contest as the Dallas Texans. The Chiefs had the edge in experience.

Indeed, as Bob Costas said in the pregame show of Super Bowl XX, those 1960s Chiefs were "the team that time forgot," obscured by the memories of the team that beat them in Super Bowl I, and the team that preceded them in bringing World Championship glory and defeat over the NFL to the AFL.

The Chiefs may not have won a title since then -- 47 seasons -- but, along with the Packers, the Chicago Bears and the New York Giants, they are, arguably, due to their status as the AFL's founding franchise (through owner Lamar Hunt), one of the 4 most important professional football teams.

*

Going to Kansas City.
Kansas City, here I come.
They got some crazy little women there
and I’m a-gonna get me one.

Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller wrote that tune back in the 1950s, and it’s been recorded by a lot of people. It hit Number 1 for Wilbert Harrison in 1959.

It doesn't say anything about football, though. Yet, in spite of a very spotty history -- the Chiefs have made the Playoffs a few times, but only once under the NFL banner have they reached the AFC Championship Game -- Kansas City has quite a fascinating history, and should still be regarded as a good football town.

Before You Go. K.C. can get really hot in the summer, and really cold in the winter, with the wind blowing across the Plains. Check the Kansas City Star website for the weather forecast before you go. (The rival Kansas City Times stopped publishing in 1990.)

For the moment, they are predicting nice weather, saying that Sunday afternoon will be in the low 70s, and Sunday night in the low 50s. They're not forecasting rain, but it could rain on Monday, so if you don't fly, ride or drive out on Sunday night, you should be prepared.

Kansas City is in the Central Time Zone. Adjust your timepieces accordingly.

Tickets. Unlike the Royals, who have had attendance issues for years, the Chiefs averaged 75,539 fans per home game last season, and 75,384 so far this season, which works out to about 98 percent of Arrowhead Stadium's capacity. Getting tickets from the team website, via Ticketmaster, could be hard. You may have to go to the NFL ticket exchange.

In the lower level, seats are $191 between the end zones and $98 behind them. In the upper level, they're $80 and $75.

Getting There. Kansas City's Crown Center is 1,194 road miles from New York's Times Square, and it's 1,182 miles from MetLife Stadium to Arrowhead Stadium. Knowing this, your first reaction is going to be to fly out there. Round-trip from Newark Liberty to Mid-Continent International Airport, while changing planes in Chicago, can be just over $600 round-trip. If you want non-stop, it’ll cost more than twice that, even if you order early. When you do get there, the 129 bus takes you from Kansas City International Airport to downtown in under an hour, so that’s convenient.

Bus? Not a good idea. Greyhound runs 6 buses a day between Port Authority and Kansas City, and only 2 of them are without changes in Pennsylvania (possibly in Philadelphia, possibly in Harrisburg). The total time is about 29 hours, and costs $198 round-trip. The Greyhound terminal is at 1101 Troost Avenue, at E. 11th Street. Number 25 bus to downtown.

Train? Amtrak will make you change trains in Chicago, from their Union Station to K.C. on the Southwest Chief– the modern version of the Santa Fe Railroad’s Chicago-to-Los Angeles "Super Chief," the train that, along with his Cherokee heritage, gave 1950s Yankee pitcher Allie Reynolds his nickname. Problem is, the Southwest Chief arrives in K.C. at 10:11 PM, meaning you would need to leave New York on Friday to get there on Saturday. At least the fare is cheap by Amtrak standards: $329 round-trip. But if you want to try it, Union Station is at Pershing Road and Main Street. Take the MAX bus to get downtown.

If you decide to drive, it’s far enough that it will help to get someone to go with you and split the duties, and to trade off driving and sleeping. You’ll need to get on the New Jersey Turnpike, and take Interstate 78 West across New Jersey, and at Harrisburg get on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, which at this point will be both I-70 and I-76. When the two Interstates split outside Pittsburgh, stay on I-70 west. You’ll cross the northern tip of West Virginia, and go all the way accross Ohio (through Columbus), Indiana (through Indianapolis), Illinois and very nearly Missouri (through the northern suburbs of St. Louis). In Missouri, Exit 9 will be for the Sports Complex. But you’d be crazy to come all this way and not get a hotel so you’ll get a decent night’s sleep, so take I-70 right into downtown.

If you do it right, you should spend about an hour and 15 minutes in New Jersey, 5 hours in Pennsylvania, 15 minutes in West Virginia, 3 hours and 45 minutes in Ohio, 2 hours and 30 minutes in Indiana, 2 hours and 30 minutes in Illinois, and 4 hours and 15 minutes in Missouri before you reach the exit for your hotel. That’s going to be nearly 21 and a half hours. Counting rest stops, preferably 7 of them, and accounting for traffic in both New York and Kansas City, it should be about 28 hours.

Once In the City. Kansas City, founded in 1838 and named for the Kanza tribe of Native Americans who lived there, is one of the smallest cities in the major leagues, with just 460,000 people, and one of the smallest metropolitan areas, with 2.3 million -- indeed, if you rank the 24 MLB markets (remembering to divide New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and San Francisco in half, although the fandom doesn't really break that way), K.C. ranks 24th.

Kansas City is set on the confluence of the Missouri and Kansas rivers, and on the Missouri/Kansas State Line. Kansas City, Kansas is a separate city with about 140,000 people, and is known locally as KCK, while the more familiar city is KCMO. As for KCMO, Main Street runs north-south and divides Kansas City addresses between East and West, while the north-south addresses start at 1 at the Missouri River.

The base fare for buses and light rail is $1.50, though to go to the Missouri suburbs or KCK it's doubled to $3.00. A 3-day pass is $10. The sales tax in Missouri is 4.225 percent, but it more than doubles to 8.475 within Kansas City.

Going In. The Harry S Truman Sports Complex, including Kauffman Stadium (known as Royals Stadium from 1973 until the 1993 death of founder-owner-pharmaceutical titan Ewing M. Kauffman) and Arrowhead Stadium, home of the NFL's Kansas City Chiefs since 1972 and site of a 2001 U.S. soccer team win over Costa Rica, is 8 miles southeast of downtown Kansas City, at the intersection of Interstates 70 and 435, still in the city but on the suburban edge of it.

The official address of Arrowhead Stadium is 1 Arrowhead Way. You don't have to worry about the ballpark being in a bad neighborhood: It's not in any neighborhood. Parking costs $11.
Public transportation is not much of an option. In fact, aside from Arlington, Texas, this is one of the least friendly stadiums in the NFL for those without a car. The Number 28 bus will drop you off at 35th Street South and Blue Ridge Cutoff, and then it’s a one-mile walk down the Cutoff, over I-70, to the ballpark. The Number 47 bus will drop you off a little closer, on the Cutoff at 40th Terrace, about half a mile away.

The big thing everyone remembers about Arrowhead is the smell -- a good smell. Kansas City prides itself on barbecue, and few football stadiums -- college or pro -- have a better reputation for tailgating. If you like to tailgate, this may be your kind of place. Especially if you're willing to swap and share. Chiefs fans are usually friendly -- usually. (More on that in "During the Game.") Indeed, going in, you might see the smoke from the tailgaters' grills before you see the stadium.
Most fans will enter by the spiral walkways at each corner, a holdover from the 1960s sports stadium architecture that also befell Giants Stadium, among others. The field is natural grass, and is aligned northwest-to-southeast, but the NFL considers this to be north-south. The end zones are crowned by oval -- some might say football-shaped -- scoreboards.
Arrowhead has hosted the Big 12 Conference football championship game 5 times, most recently in 2008. The "Border Showdown" between the universities of Kansas and Missouri, the oldest college football rivalry west of the Mississippi River, was played at Arrowhead from 2006 to 2011, when Missouri left the Big 12 for the Southeastern Conference. They are not scheduled to play each other in football this year or next year, and as far as I know, there are no plans to revive the rivalry in 2018 or later. But such rivalries never stay dormant for long, and if the Big 12 continues to fall apart (they're now at 10 teams, as they've lost Missouri and Texas A&M to the SEC, Nebraska to the Big 10 and Colorado to the Pac-10/12, but have also gained West Virginia from the Big East and Texas Christian from the Western Athletic Conference), it wouldn't be outrageous to see Kansas in the SEC in the foreseeable future.


Although the stadium is the 5th-oldest currently in use in the NFL (behind only the Los Angeles Coliseum, Lambeau Field in Green Bay, the Oakland Coliseum, and Jack Murphy Stadium in San Diego), it was recently renovated (as was neighboring Kauffman Stadium), and the Chiefs signed a lease that will keep them in Arrowhead through at least 2031. Granted, NFL teams have wiggled their way out of leases before, but it looks like that weird shape, with the points at the corners (I'm guessing sight lines aren't too good from there), will remain a part of the NFL landscape for a long time to come.

Food. Kansas City has a reputation for great barbecue, and Arrowhead has that, and many other good food items. Specifically, stands named "Kansas City Style Barbecue" are at Sections 215 and 238, featuring "Chiefs brisket stack and pulled pork sandwiches, smoke house loaded baked potatoes, KC brisket dogs, jumbo hot dogs, bratwursts, Big Red KC cheesesteak, nachos, vegetables, hummus." (Hummus? Must be for them dirty whinin' lib'rals at the University of Kansas.)

Fiorella's Jack Stack features "BBQ sandwiches, beef burnt ends, ribs, fries, beer and soft drinks" at 112, 130, 326 and 339. Blanc features "Specialty burgers, corned beef and chicken sandwiches, specialty fries, beer and soft drinks" at 122. Foolish Dog features "Specialty hotdogs, extreme fries, loaded nachos, beer and soft drinks" at 107, 131 and 322. Blaze has "Beef hamburgers, chicken tenders, bratwurst, fries, beer and soft drinks" at 102, 108, 111, 116, 126, 136, 310, 316, 321, 327, 333 and 345.

Gridiron Grill has "Specialty burgers, hand-breaded chicken tenders, hand-cut fries, beer and soft drinks" at 109, 127 and 303. Slice has "Specialty flatbread pizzas, pizza slices, Panini sandwich, frozen desserts, candy, beer and soft drinks" at 107, 125, 315, 323 and 343. And Chiefs Bar has a "Full selection of cocktails featuring margaritas, domestic and imported beers, wine" at 102, 104, 109, 111, 117, 121, 129, 134, 301, 308, 317, 326, 331, 332 and 340, and outside at the Ford Fan Zone.

Team History Displays. In 56 seasons of play (including their 1st 3, 1960-62, as the Dallas Texans), the Chiefs have reached the Playoffs 18 times (including last season), won 8 AFL or AFC Western Division Championships (most recently in 2010), have reached 4 AFL or AFC Championship Games (most recently in 1993), and won Super Bowl IV. That win made them the World Champions of professional football for 1969 -- winning said Super Bowl (the last game before the completion of the AFL-NFL merger, and the last one with the Roman numeral not officially attached, except retroactively) just 24 days after I was born.

And yet, there appears to be no notation of these achievements viewable from Arrowhead Stadium's seating areas. Nor does there appear to be any notation of their retired numbers.

The Chiefs have 10 retired numbers, and 1 other that, while not officially retired, has not been issued since the players wearing them died while still active. This is an extraordinary number for a team that's been playing for less than 60 years. However, 3 of the 10 also died while still active. In fact, the Chiefs' history has been a bit tragic.

The Chiefs have a team Hall of Fame with 45 members, one elected every year since 1970, except for 1983. (Their 2016 inductee has not yet been announced.) This is the most of any NFL team except for Green Bay. Unlike their titles and retired numbers, these are visible in the seating area, around the mezzanine. There's also a Chiefs Hall of Honor inside the stadium, with each figure represented by a bust, as are the honorees in the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio. The members are:

* From the 1960s, but before their Super Bowl win: Running backs Abner Haynes (Number 28 retired) and Mack Lee Hill (died while active, Number 36 retired) and receiver Chris Burford (who did, at least, make it to their Super Bowl I team). Running back Stone Johnson (that was his real name: "Stone Edward Johnson") was killed in a 1963 exhibition game, getting his neck broken in a tackle, and never played a regular-season down. While he's not in the team Hall of Fame, the Chiefs did retire the Number 33 that he wore exactly once.

* From their 1969 World Champions, winners of Super Bowl IV: Founder-owner Lamar Hunt (who also has a statue outside Arrowhead, and the AFC Championship trophy is named for him), coach Hank Stram, team administrator Jack Steadman, quarterback Len Dawson (Number 16 retired), running backs Mike Garrett, Curtis McClinton and Ed Podoloak, receiver Otis Taylor, tight end Fred Arbanas, center Jack Rudnay, guard Ed Budde, offensive tackles Jim Tyrer and Dave Hill, defensive tackles Buck Buchanan (Number 86 retired), Curley Culp and Jerry Mays, linebackers Bobby Bell (Number 78 retired), Willie Lanier (Number 63 retired), E.J. Holub, Sherrill Headrick and Jim Lynch, cornerback Emmitt Thomas (Number 18 retired), safety Johnny Robinson, kicker Jan Stenerud (Number 3 retired) and punter Jerrel Wilson.

* From the early 1980s: Running back Joe Delaney (died while still active, Number 37 kept out of circulation), cornerback Gary Green and safety Gary Barbaro.

* From their 1986 AFC Wild Card Playoff team: offensive tackle John Alt, defensive end Art Still, linebacker Gary Spani, cornerbacks Albert Lewis and Kevin Ross, safeties Deron Cherry (a Rutgers graduate) and Lloyd Burruss and kicker Nick Lowery.

* From their 1993 team that won the AFC West and reached the AFC Championship Game: Coach Marty Schottenheimer, Lewis, Ross, Lowery, running back Christian Okoye, guard Will Shields, linebacker Derrick Thomas (died while still active, Number 58 retired), and defensive end Neil Smith. The quarterback on this team was Joe Montana, who led the Chiefs into the Playoffs in his last 2 seasons in the NFL, but, having played only 2 seasons with the team, he is not in their Hall of Fame. Oddly, while he starred for this team, and is in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, Marcus Allen has not been inducted. Ross went to other teams, then returned for their 1997 AFC West Champions.

* From their 2003 AFC West Champions: Shields (also on their 1995 and 1997 AFC West Champions) and running back Priest Holmes. No member of their 2010 AFC West Champions has yet been inducted. Tight end Tony Gonzalez will surely be the 1st player elected.

Lanier and Stenerud were named to the NFL's 75th Anniversary Team in 1994. Lanier, Bell, Buchanan and Allen were named to The Sporting News' 100 Greatest Football Players in 1999. Lanier, Bell, Allen and Tony Gonzalez were named to the NFL Network's 100 Greatest Players in 2010. Bell, Buchanan, Haynes, Dawson, Arbanas, Budde, Tyrer, Mays, Robinson, Wilson and cornerback Dave Grayson were named to the AFL's All-Time Team.

Stuff. The Arrowhead Pro Shop is located in the middle of the lower level on the east sideline of the stadium. The usual items that can be found at a team gift shop (jerseys, helmets, caps, jackets, balls, etc.) can be purchased there. I presume that this includes, due to Kansas City's Western heritage, cowboy hats with the team logo. However, while they haven't had the same kind of backlash as the Washington Redskins, I wonder if this team, named for a leader of an Indian tribe, sells Native American-themed paraphernalia.

Books about the Chiefs are not exactly well-known outside the K.C. area. Jeffrey Flanagan and Doug Weaver of the paper in question wrote A Sea of Red: 50 Years with the Chiefs and the Kansas City Star. There is also a biography of their founder, Michael MacCambridge's Lamar Hunt: A Life In Sports.

While I couldn't find any books specifically about the 1969-70 Chiefs that won Super Bowl IV, the NFL did release the DVD NFL America's Game: 1969 Chiefs. They also have NFL History of the Kansas City Chiefs, released in 2007. There does not, as yet, appear to be a Greatest Games DVD package for the Chiefs.

During the Game. Because of their Great Plains/Heartland image, Chiefs fans like a "family atmosphere." Therefore, while they hate the Oakland Raiders and, to a lesser extent, the Dallas Cowboys, any ill feelings they might have for the Jets dissipated with the 1970 merger. (And any cross-Missouri rivalry they had with the St. Louis Rams vanished when they moved back to Los Angeles.) So they will not directly antagonize you. At least, they won't initiate it. But don't call them rednecks, hicks or sheep-shaggers.

They will, however, much like baseball Cardinal fans across the State, come dressed in bright red. While not official like the University of Nebraska's Memorial Stadium, Chiefs fans at Arrowhead could be called the Red Sea. They are also loud: Now that the Redskins have left the tight confines of RFK Stadium in the District for the expansive stadium in the Maryland suburbs, the Chiefs have the loudest outdoor stadium in the NFL. On September 29, 2014, against the Patriots on Monday Night Football, they set an NFL record of 142.2 decibels.

In 1984, the 25th season for the 8 original AFL teams -- the Jets, the Texans/Chiefs, the Buffalo Bills, the Boston/New England Patriots, the Oakland Raiders (then in their L.A. sojourn), the Denver Broncos, the Houston Oilers (now the Tennessee Titans) and the Los Angeles/San Diego Chargers -- wore a shoulder patch commemorating this anniversary. In 2009, they wore another for their 50th seasons. The Chiefs, the AFL's founding franchise, are the only team that still wears a patch commemorating the AFL.

Their original mascot was Warpaint, a spotted horse that would be ridden around the field before every game and after every Chief touchdown, by Bob Johnson, who wore full Indian regalia, including a headdress.
There was a game in 1975 when the Chiefs beat the Raiders 42-10, forcing Johnson to ride the 2nd edition of Warpaint around the field 7 times (once before the game, and once for each of the 6 touchdowns). John Madden, then the Raiders' coach, said, "We couldn't beat the Chiefs, but we damn near killed their horse."

In 1989, having survived Madden's Raiders (and Tom Flores' Raiders, and Don Shula's Miami Dolphins, and Chuck Noll's Pittsburgh Steelers, and Don Coryell's San Diego Chargers, and Dan Reeves' Denver Broncos), the Chiefs dropped Warpaint II -- not because they were trying to get more sensitive about the Native American stuff, but because the horse was 19 years old and having trouble running on the artificial turf, which has since been replaced with real grass. He made one more appearance at Arrowhead, in 1997, and got a standing ovation, and lived to be 37, which is very old for a horse.

Upon retiring Warpaint II, the Chiefs adopted a new mascot, K.C. Wolf. He was named for a group of noisy fans at the old Municipal Stadium, who called themselves the Wolfpack. But in 2009, as part of the team's 50th Anniversary celebrations, a Warpaint III was introduced, this time ridden by a Chiefs cheerleader, not wearing Native American regalia. Warpaint is also the name of the team's weekly game program.

The Chiefs hold auditions for National Anthem singers. For several years, the Chiefs borrowed the hideous "Tomahawk Chop" song from Florida State University and the Atlanta Braves. But their traditional fight song is "Give a Cheer for Kansas City":

Give a cheer for Kansas City, 
Loud and clear for the red and gold, 
As the Chiefs march on to vict’ry 
Like our mighty teams of old.
Beat the drum, here they come 
Warriors, brave and strong.
In the stands, loyal fans 
Cheer their team along.

After the Game. Since the sports complex is not in any neighborhood, let alone a bad one, you should be safe after a game, day or night. As I said, leave the home fans alone, and they'll probably leave you alone.

Chappell's Restaurant & Sports Museum, not really a museum but with a huge memorabilia collection, has been called the best sports bar in town. 323 Armour Rd., at Erie St, 11 miles northeast of the sports complex, and 5 miles north of downtown. 

If you want to be around other New Yorkers, I'm sorry to say that I can find no listings for where they tend to gather. Even those sites that show where expatriate NFL fans watch games in cities other than their own came up short.

Sidelights. Kansas City's sports history is a bit uneven. When the Royals and Chiefs have been good, they’ve been exceptional. But they've also had long stretches of mediocrity. Still, there are some local sites worth checking out.

* Site of Municipal Stadium. This single-decked, 17,000-seat ballpark was built as Muehlebach Field in 1923, by George Muehlebach, who also owned the beer and the hotel that bore his name, and the American Association's Kansas City Blues. It hosted the Blues' Pennants in 1929, 1938, 1952 and 1953 – the last 3 as a farm club of the Yankees. (They'd previously won Pennants in 1888, 1890, 1898 and 1901, for a total of 8 Pennants -- or 5 more than the A's and Royals combined in nearly 60 years thus far.) Future Yankee legends Phil Rizzuto (Sporting News Minor League Player of the Year in 1940) and Mickey Mantle (1951) played for this club at this ballpark.

The Kansas City Monarchs of the Negro Leagues also played at Muehlebach, renamed Ruppert Stadium for the Yankees' owner in 1937 and Blues Stadium in 1943. They won 13 Pennants there from 1923 to 1955, including 3 straight, 1923-25, and 4 straight, 1939-42.

Hall-of-Famers Satchel Paige, Willard Brown and Hilton Smith were their biggest stars, although it should be noted that, while he played with them in the 1945 season, Jackie Robinson was, at the time, not considered as much of a baseball prospect some of the other players who were thought of as potential "first black players," like Paige, Monte Irvin and Larry Doby; it was his balance of competitiveness and temperament, as much as his talent, that got Brooklyn Dodgers president Branch Rickey interested in him. And in a travesty, Monarchs legend Buck O’Neil has never been elected to the Hall of Fame. The Monarchs had to leave after the 1955 season, because of the arrival of the A's.

In 1954, the Philadelphia Athletics were sold to trucking company owner Arnold Johnson, and he moved the club to Kansas City, where his pal Del Webb, co-owner of the Yankees, had his construction company put an upper deck on what was renamed Kansas City Municipal Stadium, raising the capacity to 35,020.

In 1960, Charlie Finley bought the A's, and he wanted a new ballpark, and Kansas City wouldn't give it to him. He moved the team to Oakland after the 1967 season, and Major League Baseball gave Kansas City the Royals to start play in 1969. For the new team, with Ewing Kauffman rather than Finley as owner, the city built a new park. The Royals moved out after the 1972 season. Neither the Royals nor the A's ever came close to October while playing there.

The Chiefs began playing at Municipal Stadium in 1963, with a bleacher section from the left field pole to center field increasing the seating capacity to 47,000. Playing there, they won AFL Championships in 1966 and 1969 (in addition to their 1962 title as the Dallas Texans), won Super Bowl IV, and played their last game there on Christmas Day 1971, a double-overtime loss to the Miami Dolphins that is still the longest game in NFL history.

The U.S. soccer team played Bermuda at Municipal Stadium on November 2, 1968, and won. The attendance was 2,265. That gives you an idea of how far U.S. soccer has come.

When the merger happened, the NFL required its teams to have stadiums seating at least 50,000 people. Combined with one of Major League Baseball's requirements for a new K.C. team being a new ballpark, this doomed Municipal Stadium. It was torn down in 1976, and a housing development is going up on the site.

22nd Street and Brooklyn Avenue, near the 18th and Vine district that was the home of Kansas City jazz, making it a favorite of the Monarchs players. The legendary Arthur Bryant’s barbecue restaurant is 4 blocks away at 1727 Brooklyn Avenue. Number 123 bus.

* Negro Leagues Baseball Museum and American Jazz Museum. Founded by Buck O’Neil and some friends, this museum "tells the other side of the story." As Buck himself said, the pre-1947 all-white major leagues called themselves "Organized Baseball," but, "We were organized." The museum's lobby features statues of several Negro League legends, including Paige, Josh Gibson, Buck Leonard and Oscar Charleston – having played for the Monarchs was by no means a requirement for that.

The Negro Leagues were a sometimes dignified, sometimes willingly silly, and very successful response to the color bar. But the raiding of their rosters, with no regard to contracts and thus no money changing hands, by the white majors from 1947 onward, was the beginning of the end. But Buck O’Neil had the right perspective, as he said in Ken Burns' Baseball miniseries: “"appy. Happy... Of course, it meant the death of our baseball, but who cared?" The owners of the Negro League teams cared. Other than that...

1616 E. 18th Street. The same building is home to the American Jazz Museum, which includes a working jazz club, the Blue Room. Number 108 bus. The Museum is 5 blocks west of Arthur Bryant's, and a short walk from the site of Municipal Stadium – and neither of these facts is a coincidence.

* Municipal Auditorium. Built in 1935 in the Art Deco style then common to public buildings (especially in New York), it replaced the Convention Hall that was across the street, which hosted the 1900 Democratic Convention which nominated William Jennings Bryan for President (and at which a 16-year-old Harry S Truman served as a page) and the 1928 Republican Convention that nominated Herbert Hoover.

The replacement arena has a Presidential connection as well, as the 2nd and last debate of 1984 was held at the Music Hall within. This was the one that President Ronald Reagan began by brushing away fears that, at 73 years old, he was too old for the job, by citing former Vice President Walter Mondale's "youth and inexperience" (ignoring that Mondale was very experienced at age 56, while Reagan never even ran for office until he was 55), and ended it by giving a rambling closing statement that restored the fears of some. (He won in a landslide, but he was, clearly, already dealing with Alzheimer's disease.)

The arena seats 7,316 people, but for special events can be expanded to 10,721. The NCAA hosted what would later be called the Final Four here in 1940, '41, '42, '53, '55, '57, '61 and '64 – featuring such legends as Bill Russell (1955, University of San Francisco), Wilt Chamberlain (1957, his Kansas team losing to North Carolina in triple overtime), Jerry Lucas and John Havlicek (1961, their defending champion Ohio State getting shocked by cross-State rival Cincinnati) and John Wooden (1964, completing an undefeated season with Walt Hazzard and Gail Goodrich and starting his UCLA dynasty).

The NBA's Kansas City Kings played their 1972-73 and 1973-74 home games here after moving from Cincinnati – having to change their name because Kansas City already had a team called the Royals. An accident at the Kemper Arena forced the Kings to move back to the Auditorium for a few games in the 1979-80 season. The basketball team at the University of Missouri at Kansas City (UMKC) played their home games here from its opening until they opened an on-campus arena in 2010.

Elvis Presley sang there as a new national star on May 24, 1956, and as an entertainment legend on November 15, 1971 and June 29, 1974. The 2nd Presidential Debate of 1984 was held there. This is where Ronald Reagan joked about his age and experience compared to Walter Mondale's, then gave a closing statement that made him look like the Alzheimer's he was later diagnosed with was already in effect. 301 W. 13th Street. Pretty much any downtown bus will get you close.

* Kemper Arena. Built in 1974, it immediately began hosting 2 major league sports teams – neither of which lasted very long. The NBA's Kansas City Kings played here until 1985, when they moved to Sacramento. The NHL's Kansas City Scouts were the ne plus ultra– or should that be ne minus ultra? – of expansion teams, lasting only 2 seasons before moving in 1976 to become the Colorado Rockies – and then again in 1982 to become the New Jersey Devils. A few minor league hockey teams have played here since, but its only current tenant is the American Royal show.

In the Kings' final season, they hosted the Knicks in a game that resulted in one of the most frustrating injuries in NBA history, Knick star Bernard King jumping for a rebound and tearing up his knee. I’ll never forget watching on TV and hearing him yell, "Oh, damn! Oh, damn!" and then crumpling to the floor, repeatedly slapping it with his hand. Bernard did play again, and well, but a great career turned into a what-might-have-been. But that wasn't the worst injury here, and I don't mean the 1979 roof damage, either: This was where professional wrestler Owen Hart was killed on May 23, 1999.

Kemper was also the last building seating under 20,000 people to host a Final Four, hosting the 50th Anniversary edition in 1988, in which the University of Kansas, led by Danny Manning, upset heavily favored Oklahoma. In fact, KU made the 40-mile trip from Lawrence many times, creating an atmosphere that got the place nicknamed Allen Fieldhouse East, a name they have now transplanted to the Sprint Center. They went 80-24 at Kemper, including the 1988 title game.

The 1976 Republican Convention was held there, nominating Gerald Ford. Elvis sang there on April 21, 1976 and, in one of his last concerts, June 18, 1977. 1800 Genesee Street, at American Royal Drive, a block from the Missouri-Kansas State Line. Number 12 bus.

* Sprint Center. This arena opened in 2007, with the idea of bringing the NBA or NHL back to Kansas City. (The arena builders appear not to care which one they get, but with K.C. being a "small market," they'll be lucky to get one, and will not get both.) It almost got the Pittsburgh Penguins, before a deal to build the Consol Energy Center was finalized. It was also being considered for the New York Islanders, before they cut a deal to move to the Barclays Center in Brooklyn.

For basketball, it seats 18,555; for hockey, 17,752. For the moment, no teams, major- or minor-league, play here regularly, although has hosted college basketball: KU games, the Big 12 Tournament, NCAA Tournament games. 1407 Grand Boulevard, at West 14th Street. Number 57 or MAX bus from downtown.

On May 12, 2014, The New York Times printed a story that shows NBA fandom by ZIP Code, according to Facebook likes. You would think that, being between Chicago and Oklahoma City, with no team in St. Louis, the Kansas City area would be divided between Bulls and Thunder fans. Instead, the distance is so great (508 miles from Sprint Center to United Center, 349 miles to whatever OKC's arena is called now), that they divide up their fandom among the "cool" teams: The Bulls, the Los Angeles Lakers and the Miami Heat. (As yet, there is no hockey version. The closest NHL team is the St. Louis Blues, 247 miles away, but the KC-St. Louis rivalry may get in the way.)

It's unlikely that, even with a new arena, Kansas City will get a new team anytime soon. The metro area would rank 24th in population in the NBA, and 23rd in the NHL. Face it: With his desire to take teams out of Canada and cold-weather cities and put them in Sun Belt cities, if Commissioner Gary Bettman wanted Kansas City to have a team, it would have one by now.

* Colleges. Downtown Kansas City is 126 miles from the University of Missouri in Columbia, 44 miles from the University of Kansas in Lawrence, and 124 miles from Kansas State University in Manhattan, Kansas.

And yet, despite KU (never written as "UK" even though that would be correct) being 3 times as close as UM, the State Line is the absolute delineator: If you live in Kansas City, Missouri, you are much more likely to be surrounded by Missouri Tiger fans than you are Kansas Jayhawk fans. Kansas having won the 1988 National Championship at Kemper Arena and a few KU-UM games being played at Arrowhead have done nothing to change that.

* Children's Mercy Park. The new home of Major League Soccer's Sporting Kansas City, formerly the Kansas City Wizards, has also hosted 3 games, all wins, by the U.S. soccer team. It is across the State Line in Kansas City, Kansas. SKC won the 2013 MLS Cup, including the Final on home soil.

Seating 18,467, it is at State Aveune & France Family Drive, with the ballpark for the independent baseball team the Kansas City T-Bones, the Kansas Speedway racetrack, and the Legends Shopping Mall all adjacent. Number 57 bus, transferring to Number 101 bus.

* Museums. Kansas City has 2 prominent art museums. The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art is K.C.'s "Metropolitan Museum of Art," 3 miles north of downtown, at 4525 Oak Street, in Southmoreland Park. And their "Museum of Modern Art" is the Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art, 2 blocks away, at 4420 Warwick Boulevard at 45th Street. Both can be reached by the Number 57 bus.

Kansas City is still, in a way, Harry Truman's town. The 33rd President, serving from April 12, 1945 to January 20, 1953, was born in nearby Lamar, and grew up in nearby Independence. He opened his Presidential Library and Museum in 1957, and frequently hosted events there until a household accident in 1964 pretty much ended his public life.

Upon his death in 1972, he was buried in the Library’s courtyard; his wife Bess, born Elizabeth Wallace, followed him in 1982, at age 97, to date the oldest former First Lady; and their only child, Margaret Truman Daniel, was laid to rest there in 2008. Currently, the Library is run by his only grandchild, Clifton Truman Daniel.

500 West U.S. Highway 24, Independence. Number 24X bus to Osage & White Oak Streets, and then 4 blocks north on Osage and 3 blocks west on Route 24. The Truman Home – actually the Wallace House, as Bess' family always owned it – is nearby at 219 N. Delaware Street. Same bus.

Just west of the Crown Center is the Liberty Memorial, including the National World War I Museum, honoring the 1914-18 conflict that was then frequently called "The Great War" (accurate) and "The War to End All Wars" (not accurate, as it turned out). 100 West 26th Street.

There aren't a whole lot of tall buildings: One Kansas City Place, at 1200 Main Street, is the tallest in the State, at 624 feet, but only one other building is over 500 feet. The Kansas City Power & Light Building, at 1330 Baltimore Street, and the twin-towered 909 Walnut were built in the early 1930s and are the city's tallest classic buildings.

There haven't been many TV shows set in Kansas City. By far the most notable was Malcolm & Eddie, the 1996-2000 UPN sitcom that starred Malcolm-Jamal Warner and Eddie Griffin (a KCMO native). But the show was taped in Los Angeles and did no location shots, so if you're a fan of that show, there's nothing in Kansas City to show you.

*

Kansas City is a great American city, almost literally in the center of this great country. And its citizens, and the people who come from hundreds of miles around to see the Royals and Chiefs, love their sports. It's well worth saving up to check it out.

On Tuesday night, the Yankees bounced back against the Los Angeles Dodgers. CC Sabathia pitched into the 7th inning, allowing just 3 hits and 1 walk, striking out 7. But the Yankees hadn't scored either. Julio Urias, at 20 the youngest player in the major leagues (a major league player who was born in 1996! Unbelievable), and one of the few ever to wear a single digit (Number 7), left the game in the 4th inning, but he and 3 relievers kept it 0-0.

Until the bottom of the 7th. Jacoby Ellsbury and Didi Gregorius hit back-to-back home runs. In the 8th, rookie sensation Gary Sanchez struck again. It was their 9th, 18th and 14th home runs of the season, respectively.

Yankees 3, Dodgers 0. WP: Adam Warren, of all people (6-3). SV: Dellin Betances (11). LP: Ross Stripling (4-7).

The Wednesday game would not be as good. There were 3 separate rain delays. Clayton Kershaw took a perfect game into the bottom of the 5th inning, and Dodger manager Dave Roberts -- yes, the same Roberts who stole that base against us in the 2004 American League Championship Series -- left him in after the last delay ended.

In contrast, Joe Girardi took Michael Pineda out after 4 innings. That's 4 scoreless innings, in which he'd allowed only 2 hits and 2 walks. If April showers bring May flowers, then September showers bring shitshowers from Girardi. How stupid is he? I don't give a damn how long the rain delay is: If a guy is pitching well, you leave him in! Roberts knows that, why doesn't Girardi?

Starling Castro led off the bottom of the 5th by reaching 1st base on an error. Chase Headley singled. Gregorius sacrificed them over to 2nd and 3rd. Just 1 out. All we needed was for the next batter, Rob Refsnyder, to get the ball out of the infield. But Refsnyder struck out. So did Austin Romine, to end the threat.

Technically, Girardi did the right thing by having Didi bunt. But maybe, with 1st and 2nd and nobody out, and Didi hitting like crazy this year, he should have let Didi swing away.

Girardi had Tommy Layne pitch the 5th inning, Luis Severino the 6th and the 7th, and Tyler Clippard the 8th. And he sent Betances out to pitch the 9th, with the game still 0-0.

Now, if Girardi weren't a blithering idiot, he would have known that it doesn't take 5 pitchers to pitch a goddamned shutout. He could have kept Pineda in for at least 7 innings, and then pitched Clippard in the 8th and 9th. Or he could have let Severino -- who, in case he's forgotten, is a starter -- start the 5th, and keep going until he tired. He could have pitched all the way through to the 9th. Instead, he went with Pineda for only 4, Layne for the 5th, Severino for the 6th and the 7th, Clippard for the 8th, and...

Betances for the 9th. Castro returned the favor he got earlier by making his own leadoff error, allowing Corey Seager on base. Justin Turner doubled him home. An Adrian Gonzalez groundout moved Turner to 3rd, and Yasmani Grandal's groundout got him home.

In the bottom of the 9th, with the Yankees still within a bloop and a blast, or a walk and a wallop, Sanchez led off with a strikeout. Castro tried to redeem himself, and got a hit, and advanced to 2nd on defensive indifference. But Headley and Gregorius both struck out, and that was it.

Dodgers 2, Yankees 0. WP: Luis Avilan (2-0). SV: Kenley Jansen (44). LP: Betances (3-5).

In the end, the loss should have been charged to Girardi. Or to general manager Brian Cashman, who traded away the bat of Carlos Beltran and the arms of Andrew Miller and Aroldis Chapman, all of which we could have used, for nothing. Think about it: Even if Beltran had gone 0-for-4, it could have been, even with Girardi's stupidity, Pineda for 4, Layne for the 5th, Clippard for the 6th, Betances for the 7th, Miller for the 8th, Chapman for the 9th, and then, if it went to extra innings, Severino, a starter, for innings 10 through up to 15.

Oh yeah: There's also the matter of Aaron Judge getting hurt. He'll miss the rest of the season, even if the Yankees somehow win the Pennant and the World Series goes to 7 games. (Not that he would have been on the Series roster anyway.)

*

So here's where we stand: The Yankees have 17 regular season games left. They trail the Boston Red Sox in the American League Eastern Division by 4 games. The Baltimore Orioles trail the Sox by 1 game, and the Toronto Blue Jays trail them by 2.

The Orioles currently hold the 1st AL Wild Card slot, the Jays the 2nd. The Yankees trail the Jays by 2 games. The Detroit Tigers and Seattle Mariners both trail the Jays by a game and a half. (This is easily the closest that the Mariners'"King" Felix Hernandez has ever gotten to the postseason.) The Houston Astros trail by 3 1/2 games, and the Kansas City Royals by 5.

ESPN rates the Yankees chances of making the Playoffs at 10.8 percent. That's about 9-1 odds.

The Yankees' remaining schedule is as follows:

* Tonight through Sunday: 4 games away to the Red Sox.

* The following Tuesday through Thursday: 3 games away to the Tampa Bay Rays.

* The following Friday through Monday: 4 games away to the Blue Jays.

* The following Tuesday through Thursday: 3 games home to the Red Sox.

* And the following Friday through Sunday: 3 games home to the Orioles.

The Yankees will be lucky to get a split in Boston, but should take at least 2 out of 3 in St. Pete. If the recent home sweep of the Jays is any indication, 3 out of 4 in Toronto isn't too much to ask. Then, the final homestand. Got to take at least 2 out of 3 against both Boston and Baltimore.

Do that, and it's 11-6, for a record of 88-74. That probably won't be enough to win the Division, but taking 4 games off the Sox -- 2 net -- will help, especially if their other opponents can knock them down. And 88 wins could win a Wild Card berth, although a Division title would be infinitely preferable -- as the idiot Girardi didn't figure out in 2010 and 2015.

It's still up for grabs. This series against The Scum at Scumway Park in Scum Town will go a long way toward deciding the Yankees' fate for the season. This is it.

Here's the projected pitching matchups for the series:

* Tonight, 7:10: Masahiro Tanaka vs. Eduardo Rodriguez.

* Tomorrow, 7:10: Luis Cessa vs. Clay Buchholz.

* Saturday, 1:05: Bryan Mitchell vs. David Price.

* Sunday, 8:00: CC Sabathia vs. Drew Pomeranz.

Come on you Bombers! Let's light up that little green pinball machine in the Back Bay! Beat The Scum!

There are 3 times when a baseball fan gets hurt.

The 1st is when he realizes that he is not going to be a major league player, when he realizes, to paraphrase Sylvester Stallone, that the game doesn't love him as much as he loves it.

I learned that immediately, because, when I first fell in love with baseball, I couldn't even walk. After surgeries, I could walk, but I couldn't run. And I couldn't hit. And I couldn't field. And I couldn't throw. I was forever doomed to be a fan. Which hasn't always been a bad thing.

The 2nd is the 1st time his team shows him that, not only can things go wrong, they can go spectacularly wrong. Every team, even an expansion team, eventually reaches that point.

For me, it was the 1980 American League Championship Series, when I discovered that the Yankees could lose in the postseason -- not only lose, but in pathetic fashion.

The 3rd is when the team's management makes a decision so goddamned stupid, it can only mean one thing: They care more about money than winning. Don't they realize that winning will bring them money?

For me, that day came on July 27, 2016. It certainly wasn't ever going to come when George Steinbrenner was alive and running the New York Yankees. But his sons, Hal and Hank, and their lackeys, Randy Levine, Lonn Trost, and Brian Cashman?

They hurt me in the one way no post-1973 Yankee Fan ever expected to get hurt: They chose an immediate saving of money over a chance at postseason glory.

The Yankees don't do that.

Well, they have now.

*

The opening game of the key Yankees-Red Sox series at Fenway Park was 5-1 Yankees, going to the bottom of the 8th. Masahiro Tanaka had pitched superbly under pressure again. He is New York's true pitching ace. Girardi let Tanaka pitch 7 innings, throwing 93 pitches, 61 of them for strikes, allowing 1 run on 4 hits and 3 walks. Impressive, especially at Fenway.

He did not let Tanaka start the 8th, saying he was "tried." This would be his usual monumental stupidity when it comes to pitching, except, through his translator, Tanaka backed him up on this.

So Girardi had to juggled the bullpen, and that is never a good thing. He had already used Dellin Betances too much this week, and shouldn't have had to use him last night.

He brought Warren in, and he gave up yet another home run to the big fat lying cheating bastard, David Ortiz. It was the 537th of his career, giving him 1 more than Mickey Mantle.

That is a disgrace. If he had continued to hit home runs at the same pace he had before he started using steroids, he'd have about half as many -- around 270.

So it was 5-2 going to the bottom of the 9th. Girardi sent Tommy Layne out. Layne struck Aaron Hill out. A manager with a brain would have left him in, but Girardi doesn't have a brain, he has a binder. He immediately took Layne out, and brought in Blake Parker. Parker hit Chris Young with a pitch.

Now, Girardi panicked, and brought Betances in. Betances walked Dustin Pedroia, to bring the tying run to the plate. He got Xander Bogaerts to ground back to him, and, unlike the night before, didn't throw the game away. He threw home to get Young out with the force play.

That brought Ortiz to the plate. We were all thinking it would be just like the post-2003 Yankees to let Ortiz hit a walkoff home run here. It would almost have been worth walking Ortiz with the bases loaded and only 1 out, just to prevent the home run and preserve a 2-run lead. Instead, Betances pitched to him, and he singled to center, making it 5-3.

Clearly, Betances was running on fumes. But Girardi was going to either reach safe harbor or go down with this particular ship. Betances gave up a single to Mookie Betts, to make it 5-4. And then he put everything he had left into a 99-MPH fastball to Hanley Ramirez, who hit a 441-foot walkoff home run. Final score: Red Sox 7, Yankees 5.

*

There are 16 games left in the regular season, but what's the point? We won't win the Division, and now, winning the Wild Card has become a considerable chore.

We had a very good chance at the postseason, and Cashman traded it away for nothing.

As a result, I will not be doing postgame recaps for the last 16 games. There's no point.

A long, long time ago
I can still remember
how the Yankees used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
I could watch a victory dance
and maybe I'd be happy for a while.
But in July, that idiot Cashman
threw all our chances in the trash, man.
Bad news on the TV.
The trades, they were so sleazy.
I remember I hadn't cried
but Cashman's brain must have been fried.
He said, "We need prospects." He lied
the day... the season... died.

With apologies to Don McLean... and to no one else.

*

July 27, when Brian Cashman traded Aroldis Chapman, was not the day the Yankees' 2016 season died. That was last night. But it was the day he struck the mortal blow.

"Prospects," my Polack ass. We didn't need no fuckin' prospects! We had prospects! We had Gary Sanchez! We had Aaron Judge! We had Luis Severino! And, while he's missed this entire season due to injury, we had Greg Bird! The Triple-A team is in their league's final. So is the Double-A team. Clearly, the Yankees have lots of prospects.

We didn't need to boost the farm system. We needed to boost the major league team. We needed more guys who could hit major league pitching.

And what did Cashman do? He did the dumbest thing imaginable: He took the one thing that was keeping us in the Playoff race, the bullpen, and destroyed it. He traded Aroldis Chapman, one of the best closers in baseball, to the Chicago Cubs. Then he traded Andrew Miller, also one of the best closers in baseball, to the Cleveland Indians.

I'm not even going to get on his case for trading Carlos Beltran, the team's best hitter all season long. As with last season, when Mark Teixeira got hurt and Bird stepped in at 1st base and hit just as well, Sanchez has filled Beltran's place in the rotation.

But before those 2 trades, here was the pitching setup: The starter would go 6 innings, Dellin Betances would pitch the 7th, Miller the 8th, and Chapman the 9th.

Now? The starter goes 6, Betances pitches the 9th, and the 7th and 8th are handed to... a bunch of guys who can't fucking pitch at the major league level. And Betances, as we have seen, is no closer.

Here is a reminder of what the Yankees traded Chapman for:

* Warren, a 29-year-old pitcher from Birmingham, Alabama, who had already failed as a Yankee relief pitcher from 2013 to 2015: In his return, he has pitched in 22 games, pitching 21 2/3rds innings, going 3-1, with a 2.91 ERA (too high for a reliever, although the best of his career). Did I mention he was 29? This is probably as good as he's ever going to get, and it simply isn't good enough.

* Gleyber Torres, a 19-year-old shortstop from Venezuela: Nothing. He's spent the season at A-ball-plus, with the Cubs/ Myrtle Beach and the Yankees' Tampa. He's batted .270. His on-base percentage is .354. He's hit 11 home runs. He has 66 RBIs. Does this sound like a season good enough to get him promoted to Double-A next year? Yes. Does it give the slightest indication that he will be on the Yankee roster before September 1, 2018 -- or that he'll be ready for that? No. Does it give the slightest indication that he'll ever be part of the next Yankee Dynasty? Does it fuck.

And yet, this is the guy that the "We needed prospects" crowd fixates on. They don't know what the hell they're talking about: There is nothing in Torres' record thus far that suggests that he's going to be anything special.

And what kind of a name is "Gleyber," anyway? I've never heard of anyone, from any country, named "Gleyber" before. Is it a nickname? Is it short for something? It sounds like he's the 3rd Pyle brother from The Andy Griffith Show: Gomer, Goober and Gleyber! (I hope he's smarter than Gomer and Goober.)

One more thing: He's a shortstop. We already have Didi Gregorius, who's only 26 and having a fantastic season. He should be our shortstop for the next 10 years. Are we simply going to move Didi? Or Gleyber? If not, then why is anybody considering this kid such a big part of our future?

* Rashad Crawford, a nearly 23-year-old outfielder from Georgia: Nothing. He has spent the season in A-ball-plus. So that's 2017 in Double-A, maybe, and 2018 in Triple-A. We see him in September 2018, maybe.

* And Billy McKinney, a 22-year-old outfielder from Dallas: Nothing. He spent the season at Double-A, between the Cubs' Tennessee farm team and the Yankees' Trenton, and batted .246 with a .310 on-base percentage, 4 home runs and 44 RBIs in 491 plate appearances. This guy is a "prospect"? He's only slightly better at Double-A baseball than Michael Jordan was.

And here is a reminder of what they traded Miller for, and what they've done for the Yankees:

* Ben Heller, a 25-year-old pitcher from Milwaukee: 7 games, 4 innings, 1-0, 6.75 ERA.

* Clint Frazier, a 22-year-old outfielder from Georgia: Nothing. If Torres is what the "We needed to rebuild the farm system" putzes believe was the key to the Chapman trade, this kid is what they believe is the key to the Miller trade. He spent the 1st half of this season at Double-A, the 2nd half at Triple-A, and the Yankees have not seen fit to call him up this September, indicating that they have no confidence that he's any better than what they have now.

* J.P. Feyereisen, a 23-year-old pitcher from Wisconsin: Nothing. He was 14-6 at Double-A this year (Akron & Trenton combined). He'll be at Triple-A Scranton next year, and maybe he'll be called up on September 1, 2017. But the Yankees have not seen fit to call him up this September, no matter how much the pitching has struggled.

* Justus Sheffield, a 20-year-old pitcher from Tennessee: Nothing. This season, he played 24 games in A-ball-plus, and 1 game in Double-A. If he shows signs of progress, he'll spend 2017 in Double-A, and 2018 in Triple-A. So the soonest we are likely to see him is September 1, 2018 -- a little under 2 years from now.

Chapman has pitched in 22 games for the Cubs thus far, 20 2/3rd innings, and is 0-1 with a 1.31 ERA and 14 saves.

Miller has pitched in 18 games for the Indians thus far, 19 2/3rds innings, and is 1-0 with a 2.29 ERA and 3 saves.

So the Yankees have traded away 1-1, 1.79 over 62 innings, and 17 saves, for... 4-1, 3.86 over 25 2/3rds innings, and no saves.

Does that look like a good bunch of baseball business to you? Because it sure as hell doesn't look like a good bunch of baseball business to me!

In order for the Chapman and Miller trades to work out, here's what has to happen: We have to get Chapman back in the off-season, because, now, we desperately need the one thing we didn't need before, a closer; Torres (shortstop) has to become the next Derek Jeter, or, to accomodate Gregorius (who actually has played in the major leagues, and very well), has to be moved to 3rd base and become the new Alex Rodriguez (without steroids); Crawford, McKinney and Frazier (outfielders) have to become the next Bernie Williams, Paul O'Neill and Hideki Matsui; and Heller, Feyereisen and Sheffield (pitchers) have to become the next David Cone, Andy Pettitte and David Wells; with the results being that we have to win multiple World Championships.

Because, essentially, Cashman threw away a chance at the Playoffs in 2016, and another in 2017, in the hopes that these guys will begin to pay off in 2018. If you're going to rebuild, you damn well better have something built.

Because if, on October 4, 2020, the end of 4 regular seasons from now, we haven't at least won our 41st Pennant and our 28th World Championship, then what the hell did we trade Chapman and Miller for?

Here's what is most likely to happen: None of those guys will pan out, and, instead of signing Chapman back in the off-season, he gets signed by another rich club. Maybe the Red Sox, which would really put us up the creek in the AL East. Maybe Magic Johnson's Los Angeles Dodgers. Maybe the Cubs keep him. Or maybe -- hey, they apparently have some money to throw around now -- the Mets sign him.

And the Yankees end up with an entire carton of eggs on their faces.

Last year, I went back to my old neighborhood. I saw my elementary school. It's in decent enough shape. I saw the streets I used to walk home on. They were always cracked, but now, more so than ever. The houses look the same, but the trees are taller, playing games with the perspective.

Before You Go. The Houston Chronicle is predicting low 90s on Friday afternoon, but a considerably more tolerable mid-70s for gametime. The heat could be a problem, since, unlike Houston's baseball, football and basketball teams, the soccer team plays open to the elements.

When I last did this guide for the Astros this past July 23, I bemoaned the fact that Houston could have built an overhead walkway system like Minneapolis, or an "Underground City" like Montreal, in their cases to protect pedestrians from their cities' notoriously cold Winter. I have since been informed that there is a "Houston Tunnel System," begun in the 1930s, and inspired by New York itself, by the system under Rockefeller Center. Regardless of how much this may help, remember to stay hydrated. At least it looks like you won't have to worry about rain on Friday.

Houston is in the Central Time Zone, so you'll be an hour behind New York time. Although Texas was a Confederate State, you won't need to bring your passport or change your money.

Tickets. The Dynamo are averaging 18,835 fans per game this season, down about 1,800 from last season. However, this being soccer, it wouldn't matter if they averaged a sellout (22,039), because MLS teams always set aside tickets for visiting fans.

The Dynamo put visiting fans in Section 240, in the southwest corner. This section, and the entire West Stand, is pretty much the only part of the stadium that doesn't give you a good view of the impressive skyscrapers of downtown Houston. Tickets are $27.

Getting There. It's 1,629 miles from Times Square in New York to downtown Houston, and 1,619 miles from Red Bull Arena to BBVA Compass Stadium. You're probably thinking that you should be flying.

Flying from Newark to Houston George Bush Intercontinental Airport (That's named for the father, not the son) can be done for as little as $413, nonstop on United Airlines. Bus 102 will get you to downtown Houston in about an hour and 20 minutes.

There are 2 ways to get there by train. One is to change trains in Chicago, and then change to a bus in Longview, Texas. The other is to take Amtrak's Crescent out of Penn Station in New York at 2:15 PM Eastern Time 2 days before you want to arrive, arrive at Union Station in New Orleans at 7:32 PM Central Time the day before you want to arrive, stay in New Orleans overnight, and then transfer to the Sunset Limited at 9:00 AM, and arrive in Houston at 6:18 PM. (In other words, about 40 minutes before kickoff.) No, I'm not making any of that up. You don't want that, even though it would cost you a relatively cheap $348 round-trip. So let's just forget Amtrak, and move on.

Greyhound allows you to leave Port Authority Bus Terminal at 8:15 PM tonight, and arrive at Houston at 1:25 on Tuesday, a trip of 42 hours and 10 minutes. But that would require changing buses in Richmond (an hour and 5-minute layover), Atlanta (also 1:05) and New Orleans (45 minutes). It also includes layovers of 25 minutes in Raleigh, 1:10 in Charlotte, and then there's Alabama, with half an hour in Montgomery and an hour and 10 minutes in Mobile. Then 20 minutes in Baton Rouge. And you'd have to leave tonight, Sunday, in order to make it by the Tuesday night game. It's $198 round-trip. You're better off spending a little extra and flying. The Houston Greyhound station is at 2121 Main Street, a mile and a half from the ballpark.

If you actually think it’s worth it to drive, get someone to go with you so you’ll have someone to talk to and one of you can drive while the other sleeps. You’ll be taking Interstate 78 across New Jersey and into Pennsylvania to Harrisburg, where you'll pick up Interstate 81 and take that through the narrow panhandles of Maryland and West Virginia, down the Appalachian spine of Virginia and into Tennessee, where you'll pick up Interstate 40, stay on that briefly until you reach Interstate 75, and take that until you reach Interstate 59, which will take you into Georgia briefly and then across Alabama and Mississippi, and into Louisiana, where you take Interstate 12 west outside New Orleans. Take that until you reach Interstate 10. Once in Texas, Exit 770 will get you to downtown Houston.

If you do it right, you should spend about an hour and a half in New Jersey, 3 hours in Pennsylvania, 15 minutes in Maryland, half an hour in West Virginia, 5 and a half hours in Virginia, 3 hours and 45 minutes in Tennessee, half an hour in Georgia, 4 hours in Alabama, 2 hours and 45 minutes in Mississippi, 4 hours and 30 minutes in Louisiana and 2 hours in Texas. Including rest stops, and accounting for traffic, we’re talking about a 40-hour trip.

Even if you’re only going for one game, no matter how you got there, get a hotel and spend a night. You’ll be exhausted otherwise. Trust me, I know: Trains and buses are not good ways to get sleep.

Once In the City. Houston was founded in 1836 as Allen's Landing, and was renamed for Sam Houston, "the Father of Texas." There are 2.2 million people in the city proper, making it the 4th-largest in America, and 6.2 million in the metropolitan area, making it 5th.

The sales tax in the State of Texas is 6.25 percent, but in the City of Houston it goes up to 8.25 percent. The city doesn't appear to have a "centerpoint," where the address numbers start at 1, but there is a Main Street, running northeast/southwest.

There is a light rail system, called METRORail, but you probably won't need it to get from a downtown hotel to the ballpark. One zone is $1.25, and the price rises to $4.50 for 4 zones, so a daypass is a better bargain at $3.00.
Going In. BBVA Compass Stadium, its naming rights bought by a Spain-based banking corporation, is in the East of Downtown neighborhood, or EaDo, separated from Downtown Houston by Interstate 69, the Southwest Freeway. The mailing address is 2200 Texas Avenue. Parking is $20. It is served by the EaDo/Stadium station.
Opening in 2012, it is also home to the Houston Dash of the National Women's Soccer League, and the football team of Texas Southern University. The University of Houston played football there in 2013, while their new stadium was built on the site of their old one.
Despite the "pub culture" of soccer, this is Texas, this is the South, and the Dynamo organization is one of the few in MLS that actively encourages tailgate parties. They set aside Lot B and Lot C for fans who want to tailgate. (The Red Bulls allow it, but there's a difference between allowing and encouraging. It's part of the culture there.)

The field is real grass, and is aligned north-to-south -- well, northeast-to-southwest, anyway. It's hosted 8 men's international matches, including a U.S. draw with Canada on January 13, 2013; and 1 women's international match, a U.S. win over China on December 12, 2012.
Food. Being a "Wild West" city, you might expect Houston to have Western-themed stands with "real American food" at its stadiums. Being a Southern State, you might also expect to have barbecue. Being in South Texas, you might expect Mexican food. And you would be right on all counts.

They have Texas Fare at Sections 105, 110, 117 and 136; Pizza on the Pitch at 107 and 138; Taqueria Los Anaranjados (Spanish for "the Orange Ones") at 115 and 135; Extreme Dogs & Nachos at 122; Bayou City BBQ at 125 and 133; and Far Post & East End Grill at 127 and 139;

Team History Displays. The 1996 MLS charter club version of the San Jose Earthquakes (replaced in 2008) moved to Houston for the 2006 season, and, in shocking fashion -- shocking not just for the bright orange jerseys -- won the next 2 MLS Cups. They also won Conference Championships in 2011 and 2012, although they lost the MLS Cup Finals on those occasions. They also contest the Texas Derby with FC Dallas, and have won it 6 of the 11 times it's been played, including this season.

The Dynamo hang banners for their titles under the roof at the south end. They do not have any retired numbers, or a team hall of fame. Nor did they announce a 10th Anniversary Team this season.
Stuff. The Soccer Shop is located opposite Section 114 on Texas Avenue, toward the northwest corner of the Stadium, and is open for up to one hour before gates open. Fans must have a valid ticket to enter on matchdays.

While there are commemorative DVDs for their 2006 and 2007 MLS Cup seasons, and this year marks their 10th Anniversary in town, as yet, there appear to be no books about the Dynamo.

During the Game. If you were wearing Dallas Cowboy gear to a Houston Texans game, or Texas Longhorns gear to a Texas A&M Aggies game (or vice versa), or FC Dallas gear to this stadium, you might be in trouble. But Dynamo fans aren't especially hostile to New Yorkers, so safety shouldn't be an issue.

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Orange. "Orange who?" Orange you glad whoever designed the Dynamo's uniforms didn't design your team's uniforms? They're so orange, they make the Dutch national team look like men in gray flannel suits! They even have "Forever Orange" as one of their slogans. So if you don't antagonize anyone, and you keep hydrated so you don't overheat, the greatest danger will be to your retinas!

The club accepts applications for National Anthem singers, rather than having a regular do it. Unlike most MLS clubs, they have cheerleaders (this is Texas, after all), known as the Dynamo Girls. Their mascot is a fox named Dynamo Diesel, who looks suspiciously like the Car Fox character from the Carfax commercials.

The main Dynamo supporters groups all sit in the North End, or La Zona Naranja (The Orange Zone), Sections 215, 216 and 217. They include the Texian Army, named for the army that won Texas' independence from Mexico in 1836; La Bateria (The Battery); the Brickwall Firm; and El Batallón (The Batallion).

Many of their songs are in Spanish, including the standby used by the Red Bulls and many others: "¡Vamos, vamos Houston, esta noche, tenemos que ganar!" (Let's go, let's go Houston! This night, we have to win!"

One unpleasant side of Dynamo support was homophobic remarks made on one of the groups' Twitter feeds in the Spring of 2013. They have since accepted the backlash and cut that stuff out.

After the Game. Houston is a comparatively low-crime city, and not a city known for having particularly nutty fans. As long as you behave yourself, they'll probably behave themselves, win or lose.

Lucky's Pub appears to be the go-to bar for New Yorkers living in the Houston area. It is at 801 St. Emanuel Street at Rusk Street, a block west of the stadium. Stadia Sports Grill, supposedly a haven for Jets fans is at 11200 Broadway Street in Pearland, but that's 15 miles south of the ballpark.

If your visit to Houston is during the European soccer season (as this match is), and you want to watch your favorite club play, you can do so at the following locations:

* Arsenal, Manchester City and Barcelona: The Richmond Arms, 5920 Richmond Drive. Bus 20 to Sage Road & San Felipe Road, then transfer to Bus 32 to Fountainview Drive at Richmond Drive.

* Liverpool: The Gorgeous Gael, 5555 Morningside Drive. Bus 20 to Shepherd Drive at Memorial Drive, then transfer to Bus 27 to Greenbriar Drive at University Blvd.

* Chelsea, Everton and Celtic: The Phoenix Brewpub, 1915 Westheimer Road at McDuffie Street. Bus 82 to Westheimer at Hazard.

* Manchester United: The King's Court Bar and Kitchen, 903 Hutchins Street at Walker Street, across from the South End of BBVA Compass Stadium.

* Real Madrid: Taps House of Beer, 5120 Washington Avenue. Bus 85 to Fannin Street at Texas Avenue.

* Tottenham Hotspur and Bayern Munich: BarMunich, 2616 Louisiana Street at Dennis Street. Light Rail to McGowen. If you can't find your favorite club listed here, this place is probably the best choice, because of its early opening.

Sidelights. The Dynamo's 1st home, from 2006 to 2011, was Robertson Stadium. They had their 2006 and 2007 championship seasons there, although they didn't play the MLS Cup Finals there. In 2006, they beat the New England Revolution at Pizza Hut Park, now Toyota Stadium, home of their arch-rivals, FC Dallas. In 2007, they beat the Revs again, at Robert F. Kennedy Stadium in Washington.

Built in 1942 as Public School Stadium, and known as Jeppesen Stadium from 1958 to 1980, Corbin J. Robertson Stadium (named for a member of the University of Houston's board of regents) seated 36,000 people at its peak, and was also home to the University of Houston football team from 1946 to 1950, and again from 1998 to 2012; and was the 1st home of the Houston Oilers, from 1960 to 1964.
The Oilers won the 1960 American Football League Championship Game there, over the Los Angeles Chargers (who moved to San Diego the next year), but lost the 1962 AFL Championship Game there to the Dallas Texans (who became the Kansas City Chiefs the next year). They won the 1961 AFL Championship Game on the road.

TDECU Stadium, the new home of University of Houston football, has been built at the site. 3874 Holman Street at Cullen Blvd. Number 52 bus.

The Oilers played the 1965, '66 and '67 seasons at Rice Stadium, home of Rice University. Although built in 1950 and probably already obsolete, it seated a lot more people than did the Astrodome, and so Super Bowl VIII was played there instead of the Astrodome in January 1974, and the Miami Dolphins won it -- and haven't won a Super Bowl since.

It has been significantly renovated, and Rice still uses it. University Blvd. at Greenbriar Street, although the mailing address is 6100 S. Main Street. Number 700 bus.

Before there were the Astros, or even the Colt .45's, there were the Houston Buffaloes. The Buffs played at Buffalo Stadium, a.k.a. Buff Stadium, for most of their history, from 1928 to 1961, when the Colt .45's made them obsolete.

The Buffs won 8 Texas League Pennants: 1928, 1931, 1940, 1947, 1951, 1954, 1956 and 1957. The stadium was at the southwest corner of Leeland Street & Cullen Blvd., about 2 1/2 miles southeast of downtown. A furniture store is on the site now. Number 20 bus.

In 1965, the Astrodome opened, and was nicknamed "The Eighth Wonder of the World." It sure didn't seem like an exaggeration: The 1st roofed sports stadium in the world. (Supposedly, the Romans built stadia with canvas roofs, but that's hardly the same thing.) The Astros played there until 1999, and then moved into Enron Field/Minute Maid Park for the 2000 season. The Oilers played at the Astrodome from 1968 to 1996, when they moved to Tennessee to become the Titans.
In 2002, the new NFL team, the Houston Texans, began play next-door to the Astrodome, at NRG Stadium (formerly Reliant Stadium), which, like Minute Maid Park, has a retractable roof. Suddenly, the mostly-vacant Astrodome seemed, as one writer put it, like a relic of a future that never came to be. (This same writer said the same thing of Shea Stadium and, across Roosevelt Avenue, the surviving structures of the 1964 World's Fair.)

Once, the Astrodome was flashy enough to be the site of movies like The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training and Murder at the World Series. (Both in 1977. In the latter, the Astros, who had never yet gotten close to a Pennant, played the Series against the Oakland Athletics, who had just gotten fire-sold by owner Charlie Finley.)

The Astrodome also hosted the legendary 1968 college basketball game between Number 1 UCLA (with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, then still Lew Alcindor) and Number 2 University of Houston (whose Elvin Hayes led them to victory, before falling to UCLA in that year's Final Four), the 1971 Final Four (UCLA beating Villanova in the Final), and the cheese-tastic 1973 tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs, the "Battle of the Sexes."

Elvis Presley sang there on February 27, 1970 and on March 3, 1974. It hosted Selena's last big concert before her murder in 1995, and when Jennifer Lopez starred in the film version, it was used for the re-creation. In 2004, the same year NRG Stadium hosted the Super Bowl (which was won by... Janet Jackson, I think), the Astrodome was used to film a high school football playoff for the film version of Friday Night Lights; the old Astros division title banners can be clearly seen.

Today, though, the Astrodome seems, like the Republican Party that held a ridiculously bigoted Convention there in 1992, stuck in the past, and not just because they renominated failed President George H.W. Bush. The former Eighth Wonder of the World is now nicknamed the Lonely Landmark, and while it served as a shelter for people displaced from New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina in 2005, since 2008, when it was hit with numerous code violations, only maintenance workers and security guards have been allowed to enter. The stadium's future is not clear: Some officials are worried that demolishing it would damage the new stadium and other nearby structures.
NRG Stadium hosted the Final Four in 2011 (Connecticut beating Butler in the Final), and earlier this year (Villanova beating North Carolina). It will host Super Bowl LI this coming February.

It was built roughly on the site of Colt Stadium, which was the baseball team's home in their 1st 3 seasons, 1962, '63 and '64, when they were known as the Houston Colt .45's (spelled with the apostrophe), before moving into the dome and changing the name of the team. The climate-controlled stadium was necessary because of not just the heat and the humidity, but because of the mosquitoes.

Sandy Koufax of the Los Angeles Dodgers said, "Some of those mosquitoes are twin-engine jobs."
Later, seeing the artificial turf that was laid in the Astrodome for 1966 after the grass died in the first season, due to the skylights in the dome having to be painted due to the players losing the ball in the sun, Koufax said, "I was one of those guys who pitched without a cup. I wouldn't do it on this stuff. And Dick Allen of the Philadelphia Phillies, looking at the first artificial field in baseball history, said, "If a horse can't eat it, I don't want to play on it."

The Astrodome hosted a 1988 match between the national soccer teams of the U.S. and Ecuador, which Ecuador won. NRG Stadium has hosted 2 such matches, a 2008 draw with Mexico and a 2011 win over Panama. The Mexico team has made it a home-away-from-home, playing several matches there.

The NRG complex, including the Astrodome, is at 8400 Kirby Drive at Reliant Parkway. Number 700 bus.

For the 2000 season, the Astros moved to Minute Maid Park, at 501 Crawford Street at Texas Avenue, 4 blocks west of BBVA Compass Stadium.

The NBA's Houston Rockets played at the Summit, later known as the Compaq Center, from 1975 to 2003. It's been converted into the Lakewood Church Central Campus, a megachurch presided over by Dr. Joel Osteen. 3700 Southwest Freeway at Timmons Lane. Number 53 bus.

The Rockets now play in the Toyota Center, at 1510 Polk Street at Crawford Street. It's 9 blocks south of Minute Maid Park, and a little bit southwest of BBVA Compass Stadium.

The Houston Aeros, with Gordie Howe and his sons Mark and Marty, won the World Hockey Association championships of 1974 and 1975, while playing at the Sam Houston Coliseum, before moving into the Summit in 1975 and folding in 1978. The ABA's Houston Mavericks played there from 1967 to 1969. The Beatles played there on August 19, 1965. Before the opening of The Summit, the Rockets played at the Coliseum, and at the Astrodome.

The Sam Houston Coliseum was built in 1937 and demolished in 1998. It replaced Sam Houston Hall, where the 1928 Democratic Convention nominated Governor Alfred E. Smith of New York, who thus became the 1st Catholic nominated for President by a major party.

The Hobby Center for the Performing Arts is now on the site. 801 Bagby Street, at Rusk Street, downtown.

The nearest NHL team to Houston is the Dallas Stars, 242 miles away. If Houston had an NHL team, its metropolitan area would rank 10th in population in the NHL.


The tallest building in Houston, and in all of Texas, is the JPMorgan Chase Tower, formerly the Texas Commerce Tower. It was built in 1982 at 600 Travis Street at Texas Avenue, downtown, and stands 1,002 feet tall, rising 75 stories above the concrete over the bayou.

Houston's version of New York's American Museum of Natural History is the Houston Museum of Natural Science, in Hermann Park, at Main Street and Hermann Park Drive. The Houston Museum of Fine Arts is at 1001 Bissonnet Street, just 5 blocks away. Both can be reached by the Number 700 bus.

Of course, the name "Houston" is most connected with two things: Its namesake, the legendary Senator, Governor and war hero Sam Houston, and the Johnson Space Center, the NASA control center named after President Lyndon B. Johnson, who, as Senate Majority Leader, wrote the bill creating NASA and the Space Center, because he thought it would bring a lot of jobs and money to Houston (and he was right). Most historic sites relating to Sam, however, are not in the city that bears his name. As for reaching the Johnson Space Center, it's at 1601 NASA Parkway and Saturn Lane. The Number 249 bus goes there, so if you don't have a car, Houston, you won't have a problem.

Although Houston is the post-Presidential home for George H.W. and Barbara Bush, his Presidential Library is at Texas A&M University, 100 miles away in College Station.


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Houston can be hot, but it's a good sports town, and, best of all, it's not Dallas. So there can be a good old time in the hot town tonight.