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Top 10 March 22 Birthdays

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10. March 22, 1947: James Patterson. The creator of Alex Cross has recently written novels with Bill Clinton and Dolly Parton. It doesn't get much more American than that.

Dishonorable Mention: March 22, 1930: Pat Robertson. The son of a segregationist Senator became a Republican power broker by perverting the Christian message into one of get-rich-quick schemes and bigotry. It doesn't get much more un-American (and un-Christian) than that.

Honorable Mention: March 22, 1908: Louis L'Amour. He specialized in Westerns, although he wrote about other subjects, including a nonfiction book about the settling of the American West.

9. March 22, 1924: Al Neuharth. Founder of USA Today, America's 1st truly national newspaper, something most countries take for granted.

8. March 22, 1797: Kaiser Wilhelm I. Along with Otto von Bismarck, he unified Germany. Although a conservative, he was less so than Bismarck, and considerably less so than his grandson Wilhelm II. Wilhelm I certainly would not have started World War I.

7. March 22, 1599: Anthony van Dyck. Having seen his brilliance from afar, King Charles I of England named the Flemish painter England's court portaitist, making him the dominant influence on English portrait-painting in the 17th and 18th Centuries.

6. March 22, 1912: Karl Malden. In 1954, he played a priest in On the Waterfront, and won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. In 2000, he played a priest in an episode of The West Wing, and was onscreen for less than 5 minutes, but still carried a scene against Martin Sheen at age 87. He carried the same Bible he'd carried in On the Waterfront.

In the 1970s, he starred in the ABC police drama The Streets of San Francisco, and in commercials for American Express traveler's checks: "Don't leave home without them!"

Honorable Mention: March 22, 1887: Chico Marx. His portrayals of stereotypical Italians alongside his brothers Groucho and Harpo are a bit cringey now, but he was still funny.

Honorable Mention: March 22, 1920: Werner Klemperer. The son of conductor Otto Klemperer and opera singer Johanna Geisler, he became famous in his own right for playing Colonel Wilhelm Klink in the 1960s World War II-set comedy Hogan's Heroes. Let the record show that the most famous Nazi soldier in the history of American television not only was Jewish, but served in the U.S. Army during "The War," and was damned proud of it.

Honorable Mention: March 22, 1941: Bruno Ganz. The world knows him from playing Adolf Hitler in the 2004 German film Downfall, which led to a thousand Internet parodies. He was actually Swiss, and beloved by those who knew him.

Honorable Mention: March 22, 1955: Lena Olin. The last of Swedish director Ingmar Bergman's leading ladies, she starred in The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Enemies: A Love Story, Chocolat, Romeo Is Bleeding, and as KGB Agent Irina Derevko on Alias. She might be the top femme fatale of the last 40 years, but damn, she looked so good while being so bad. She has occasionally worked with her husband, director Lasse Hallström.

Honorable Mention: March 22, 1971: Keegan-Michael Key. His work with Jordan Peele on Comedy Central's Key & Peele is some of the funniest observational humor of the last 20 years. At a White House Correspondents Dinner, he played President Barack Obama's "anger translator," saying the things Obama was too Presidential to say out loud and in public.

Honorable Mention: March 22, 1976: Reese Witherspoon. It's a bit ironic that the woman whose best-known film is titled Legally Blonde won an Oscar for playing a famous brunette, June Carter Cash in Walk the Line. She may now be making a bigger difference as a film and TV producer.

5. March 22, 1923: Marcel Marceau. Somebody has to have been the most famous mime in history. I saw a rebroadcast of a 1972 Dick Cavett Show, and heard his voice: While he had a strong French accent, his English was excellent, and he was a fascinating guest.

4. March 22, 1940: Dave Keon. The center won the Calder Trophy as NHL Rookie of the Year in 1961, made 8 All-Star Games, and won 4 Stanley Cups with the Toronto Maple Leafs: 1962, 1963, 1964 and 1967, in the last of these awarded the Conn Smythe Trophy as Playoffs Most Valuable Player. He later starred for the New England Whalers in the World Hockey Association, remaining with them as the Hartford Whalers as they entered the NHL.

In 1998, The Hockey News ranked him 69th on their list of the 100 Greatest Hockey Players. In 2016, as part of their 100th Anniversary celebrations, the Maple Leafs conducted a fan poll that named him the greatest player in team history. They retired his Number 14, and dedicated a statue of him outside Scotiabank Arena.

Honorable Mention: March 22, 1928: Ed Macauley. He was a 7-time NBA All-Star, and was named MVP of the 1st NBA All-Star Game in 1951, which isn't surprising, since it was hosted by his team, the Boston Celtics. But in 1956, the Celtics traded him to the St. Louis Hawks for the draft rights to Bill Russell. It worked out great for the Celtics, but it worked out all right for the Hawks, too: He led them to their only NBA Championship, in 1958, beating the Celtics. He was elected to the Basketball Hall of Fame.

Honorable Mention: March 22, 1989: J.J. Watt.A 5-time Pro Bowler and a 3-time NFL Defensive Player of the Year, Justin James Watt will probably be the 1st Houston Texans player elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. In 2017, due to their involvement in helping Houston recover from Hurricane Harvey, he and the Astros' José Altuve were named Sportspeople of the Year by Sports Illustrated. It should be noted that, unlike Altuve, there is no evidence that Watt has ever cheated in his sport.

3. March 22, 1869: Emilio Aguinaldo. He fought alongside America to free his country from Spain, then fought America to free his country, period. The 1st President of the Philippines, he was the 1st President of a constitutional republic anywhere in Asia.

What keeps the founding father of his country from being Number 1 on this list is that, during World War II, already elderly, he thought that surrendering to the Japanese Empire would make things easier on his country instead of fighting it. The Asian version of Marshal Pétain was wrong. 

2. March 22, 1930: Stephen Sondheim. If there was a King of Broadway, he was it: West Side Story, Gypsy, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Company, Follies, A Little Night Music, Sweeney Todd, Sunday in the Park with George, Into the Woods. To borrow one of his own lyrics, "He trod a path that few have trod."

Honorable Mention: March 22, 1948: Andrew Lloyd Webber. Talent-wise, he's no Sondheim, but no Broadway writer has ever made more money: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Jesus Christ Superstar, Evita, Cats, Starlight Express, The Phantom of the Opera.

Honorable Mention: March 22, 1943: George Benson. The jazz guitarist is probably best known for his cover of The Drifters'"On Broadway," from the film musical All That Jazz.

1. March 22, 1931: William Shatner. From The Twilight Zone in 1960 to Better Late Than Never in 2018, he has been a TV legend. And he would have been a TV legend even if he had never played his most famous role. But that most famous role was Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise on Star Trek. He may have gotten a life outside of it, but it was never "just a TV show."

Still alive as of this writing: Patterson, Robertson, Olin, Key, Witherspoon, Keon, Watt, Lloyd Webber, Benson, Shatner.

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